False_Dragon vents Fire at things it hates.... roaarrrrrr

[False_Dragon]

Well, what a day.. This is now officially my 3rd web log on thise site... whoopay... really.. now go fuck a tree... hurts, doesn't it? So, i decided that time is now enough... I am going to vent.. about everything i think is wrong with the world. I hate the world.. really i do. My best mate coined the phrase "I hate people" and he's damn right.

Be warned... you will be offended

So today, lets have some christmas cheer...

Christmas
Christmas... What is Christmas? Celebration of life? Celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ? (weee, another hate subject for later, religion) A time for giving and sharing? A time for joy and glee...

Fuck that.

It's commercialism at it's absolute worst. It's 13 yr olds getting drunk for the first time to and going "all the way" with their uncles, brothers, father. It's blatant marketing ripping up the average consumer into a twitching mess, because they felt the need to spend "that little extra" on a present for themselves, knowing full well they had the electricity company with a .twelve gauge down their throat, all because an ad. told them to.

It's a facade. Everyone digs themselves into a little hole fooling themselves that they are for once, "happy". bullshit

Lets examine the religious significance of christmas, after all, it is a "religious holiday". It is, essentially, the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. It's intentions are honest enough, promoting joy, and world peace... I like the idea...

The christmas tree... actually has pagan origins... Funny, that...

So, if it's a religious holiday, why are there so many non-religious people jumping on the bandwagon? Do they have a right?

Christmas is no longer about Jesus... or peace or joy... it's about that extra bit of Jack Daniels at the bottom of that smashed bottle, covered in blood, that everyone wants a piece of...

It's a load of crap. Basically.


weeeeeeeee.

[False_Dragon]

How was the tree? Get splinters? Fuck man, jeez, I didn't expect you to do it. Well, you've done it... you're back again... time for another 5 minutes of being fucked over.. by me!

Here's a serious pet hate of mine...


13 year old girls

In the grand scheme of things... it just don't get any worse than this. Those adolescent fucks, that drink till there's no tomorrow, cling like yesterdays rotted sugar wrapping, and get fucked by guys twice their age.

I personally know 4, know another two offhand, and have also observed countless times the actions of this biped-like creature.

So, it kind of begs the question... Are they actually human?

These, "girls" are in the stage where they are, in effect, growing up into adults.. But for the love of pete and his six gay elephants, do they have to bring us all down with them??? They talk trash, they fall in love... GRRRRRRR And why in the name of fuck! do they have to fall in love with me?

There were two, previously... one didn't even have tits yet... (not that that's what i'm out for..) Still a child! Fell in deep, 13 yr old-like love with me. I'm not going to go out with them! Sure they were good friends, but damn... And i hate to think of guys the same age as me screwing them till dawn... as it normally is.

Lets put it into perspective... I'm 19. That's it, end of story... now GO AWAY!

Come on, think about it, my name is not Glen Banwell. I do not want to have any kind of "relationship" or lack of, be that as it may, with a fucking child. I'm not a wannabe paedophile... like Glen Banwell. And i certainly do not want to follow two 13 yr old girls down a beach at night wanting to see them have a piss. Again - Glen Banwell.

It's fucking insane.

Now, don't get me started on depressed 13 yr old girls... Ok, fine, i will.

What is with the cutting? the "taking too many anti-depressants then drinking ludicrous amounts of Vodka"... Fine, you're depressed... But don't take it out on everyone else. I've been depressed... I've tried to stab myself with a pen... It just doesn't work. Half of you are attention seekers, the other half are truly suffering. To the latter, i apologise, but.. hell, you're still 13, so what the fuck, right?

So yeah... Staying at a mate house, drinking, having fun... being drunk. the phone rings. It's for me. So, what the fuck? who the fuck? why the fuck? It's a drunken 13 yr old... who's in love with me... and just happened to, that very night, stock her body up on booze and anti-depressants.

I had to talk her out of her reverie, calm her down... Help her out... Find out how she got the telephone number...

She was fine by the end... But... There's so many of them!

Everywhere i go, i see 13 yr olds, with a dress sense that would make a prostitute blush...

They're still just kids.

In my opinion... 13 yr old girls should be locked up... until the day they turn 16... So at least by then... what they do of a nighttime is actually legal

Morals are going down the fucking drain i tells ya.

[False_Dragon]

Also.. what is wrong with my thread? something is keeping it back... even though i've replied already... it should be at the top of the page...

[False_Dragon]

Ok look, we've cut the tree down. So stop looking at the stump like it wants to give you oral pleasure... Oh for fucks sake, get away from it.... Oh, that's just so fucking wrong on so many levels... ugh.

People these days... what's it amount to... *tuts*

U S of fucking A

This country is a thorn in the side of the international community. It's politics, it's ignorance, it's "were going to point our biggest gun at you, so you better get rid of yours.."

I'm going to have to right down now, things that are so crap about this country...

Iraq, George Bush, vaunted "freedoms", ignorance, persecution, congress, propaganda...

I'm gonna be here all fucking day.

Lets start with George Bush. What a fucking monkey. With senile dementia, no less. http://www.adbuzz.com/bushbuzz/wrongwithgwb.htm

HAHAHHAAHAHA... or not...

You know, I question the morals of a man who on one hand is "pro-life" and advocates against abortion, yet on the other, is responsible for the extinguishingo f hundreds of thousands of innocent civilian lives. That's a motherfucking paradox, if i ever saw one.

Which leads me to Iraq... Oh, great mesopotamia, where art thou have gone!? The cradle of civilisation... is now a smoldering ruin... thanks to George Bush, and his war on iraq...

Ok, so what the fuck? He finishes his war, the people are cheerful, yet curious as what this crazy buffoon is going to do next. I mean, the sooner George Bush creates some kind of infrastructure, which the communities can rely on, the sooner they get to find out... But what happened? Iraqi civilians had to wait up to weeks for running water, electricity and so on.. Where was George Bush? Where was America?

Setting up pipelines for oil, of course.

Right, lets blow a country up, lets pretend we'll give them a "decent" infrastructure, lets point our fingers and shout "terrorist!", and while they look, lets steal their oil... the very basis of their economy.



Apparently, a fair majority claim that George Bush was involved with september 11... Ha, what a laugh!... right?

...uh *cough* I won't comment on that... apparently, dear readers, that kind of conjecture is too offensive.


You have the right to freedom of speech. You have the right to freedom of worship. ou have the right to freedom from want. You have the right to freedom from fear.

As americans, those are your freedoms. Or so they say.

Do you really have freedom of speech? At this point, i would say no, but Michael Moore seems to enjoy this particular freedom... I'm surprised they haven't suicided him by now.

Do you have freedom of Worship? Absolutely not. Muslims are now synonomous with terrorists... So, to all i say, "terrorist!" Shout at the top of my own lungs, while some of my friends steal some more of your freedoms... a'la P.A.T.R.I.O.T act. If you're asian, you could very well be Korean... What a fuck. George Bush went so far as to say, "Atheists are not American citizens" at a fundraising dinner in 1992. George Bush, "believes" he is christian, but to that i say nay. He is a member of a secret society, (purportedly), called skull and crossbones.. sounds fucking ominous, eh? The bible does indeed state that no christians are to be members of secret society, thus good ol' Dubya is breaking the tenets of his religion...

Oh, i've got a good one for you, readers.. "Thou shalt not kill".... I find that one particularly hilarious, don't you?

Ok, so it turned into a George Bush bash... and i haven't even started.. phew.

[False_Dragon]

Oh, and you have the right to freedom of fear.

That is bullshit. The only reason the majority of people accepted the "war on terror" and the war on Iraq is because the American public were scared into it.

There's a fucking terrorist round the corner. Say, that guy, who owns the newstand on 6th and 3rd, he could be a fucking terrorist. In a small town in the middle of yokel country... It could happen to you! TERROR ALERT IS UP TO YELLOW... Be careful of the pigeons bombing civilians in central park with poo, they're motherfucking terrorists too.

[False_Dragon]

Heh, that last bit rhymes. :)

ok... DISCLAIMER TIME

That's right folks. A disclaimer to any and all who read. IF ... and i say IF... you write in to me, complaining about anything i have written, and i feel it's suitable, then i will post it in with my next post...

None i feel are suitable yet. But please, by all means, complain, whinge, and prove my point that humanity is fucking lost.

oh, btw... that includes rep.

btw btw... Any GOOD write ins i get, i'll post 'em too. So, y'all, keep on reading.


Oh, and fuckers, i removed the stump, got it pulled... those stains were annoying the shit out of me. 'till next time! :whip:

[False_Dragon]

Just as a sore note... so i can actually offend people... which i know i will:

I definately do think that Dubya was involved with the 9/11 attacks. In some way shape or form... he was involved.

So, shove that on your ex-tree stump and rotate.


EDIT: Fuckers, it's a matter of opinion. NOT fact.

[False_Dragon]

some nice info here: http://pages.prodigy.net/markrm/exposed5.html

Fuckers... Ya' hear?

lmao.

[False_Dragon]

Another day another hate.

Rap

Rap. Lets examine first, the literal significance of "Rap". Rap is really... Crap. just omit the "C" and you have Rap. really. It works. Try it for yourself.

My biggest concern with this growing genre within the music industry (inherent with the hype and media machine) is that Rap ties itself tightly with Gang affiliations. Is that the best image for our growing society? For example 2pac and Notorious B.I.G... both gunned down because of a gang war between the two rival gangs. You know, that's something we all need.

If only McFly and Busted could have a shoot-out... That would be fucking great... i'd even tape it. and slow-mo each of their deaths... yeah... I think i'd have to join in... blast 'em all away.... fucking sweet.

Then there is "try-hard gang member wannabe" rappers. Like 50 cent. What a fucking... i have no idea what to call him... because otherwise i'd be "racist" and morally reprehensible... not to mention a fucking racist bastard.

what's his image? Pointing 9. cal. at people, and he especially likes doing it on the front of his CD covers! Whoa, me scared, So scared, i'll buy his album... I don't wanna fucking die. PLEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAASE! DON'T KILL ME!

Shot 9 times, with a 9 mil.? sounds like bull to me. some one must of really been close to get that many shots off, and hit him... And he survived?

"that's how he got a lisp" - nah, the fucker probably fell over in a carpark after getting beaten up by white trash with dead squirells for weapons and bit his lip as he hit the ground... face first...

...oh wait, that's just wishful thinking.

No talent. period.


Now as much as i hate Rap, i admit that those "street Rappers" must have some kind of benign talent. Catching lyrics out of thin air to some beat has got be have some kind of talent to it, i couldn't do it. But, i wouldn't want to do it anyway.. 'coz i'm not homie y'all inda house..y'all...

[False_Dragon]

It's been brought to my attention that i didn't mention eminem. Since I can't be bothered to elaborate on him, i'll shorten my feelings to one coherent sentence-

Fucking white trash motherfucking black wannabe hip y'all homie.

-That is all. Goodnight.

[False_Dragon]

Good day to y'all hip y'all homie mutha fucker dudes.

In accordance with my Disclaimer, he's a nice Rep point i recieved from a "Supporter" of thine maximus holy rants-

Thank you for reminding me that there are some americans with brains out there ;) Death penalty... I've never understood how a "civiliced", modern western country could support that! *huggles* Hang in there friend :)

All, bow down... the almighty Enariom has spoken.Though, dear... I'm not American. just a point for future reference.

So, indeed, How does a civilised modern western country support the death penalty?
Readers, If you like, PM me with what you think the answer to that question.

Historical parellels

Not a hate subject as more of a brief intelligent overview of something we all seemed to have missed. Which may put lovely Enarioms question in perspective.

Roman Empire - The "Original", the one, the only, the absolutely splendiferous first western civilisation, and the worlds first SUPERPOWER! (dramatic reverb...)

A superpower run by insane despots. Caligula, pure comedy gold.!

It invaded countries for one of many reasons.

1.dropping political support and popularity

2. Waning religious beliefs

3. God/many Gods. (keep in mind, the later Roman empire was hugely polytheistic)

4. Power

5. To outdo the last ruler

6. Sex... you know, some good ol' shagging action... Marc Antony, Cleopatra??? you old dog you ;)

7. Imperialist expansion

The list goes on.

My point is, it is the first western empire properly considered "civilisation", For the fact that it was "civilised"

Guess what folks, it ain't what you think. See, The romans really were civilised. They killed people for sport, showcasing extreme violence to the masses, and let their people live in fear...


USA

Global positioning aside... What the flying fuck's the difference?



The truth is... That IS civilisation! Be proud of how barbaric and primitive it really fucking is.

[False_Dragon]

I did forget to mention that most of the western, if not the developing world is pretty much like this...

[False_Dragon]

OK, fucking wotism server... or a server anywhere. I make the biggest fucking post fucking imaginable, and it fucking goes fucked up..

Fucking hell.

So, in anycase. I have decided you are all tree hugging hippies. I tell you to fuck a tree, you do so. I chop it down, you hump the stump. I get rid of the stump... what do you go and fucking do?

Find a forest.

Jeeeezu. You guys are sick. Fucking animals. The national parks authorities aren't very happy about this. How many of you did the paramedics have to cart away because of splinters? The authorities aren't happy about the stains either. It's fucking disgraceful. And the smell! But that's not all readers. The authorities found, lodged in a tree...

Yeah, that's right fuckers, A penis.

A fucking penis. In a tree. Severed. Bloody, and with stains to match. Ooooh, lets complain about "comfort zones"... You should of bloody well thought of that, before you started fucking trees.

Trust

How does one get themselves trampled on by others? To put it simply, Trust. Trust someone, and 9 out of 10, (the 1 being you) they'll let you down.

"here, take this ring, throw it into mordor!" - Frodo couldn't fucking do it, what a knob. Bastard had to get his finger bitten off.

"I like this woman, i trust you, don't tell her." - What a fucking stupid thing to say. Course, you trusted an alcohol damaged mind with such fucking sensitive information as that... now, live with the fucking consequences.

"If you do not send this post through the mail... The world will fucking blow up... err you get fired... yeah.. fucking do it!" - whoops, slipped. BOOOOM!

My point is, why ever trust anyone? Because they're your "friend"? Because they slept with you, didn't wear a condom and is now running to the late-night chemist to get the fucking pill. Whoops... Slipped. boom.

Yeah, i fucking reckon. Bastards.

As a human being, you feel compelled to trust people... why? I don't have a fucking clue, i ain't a brain scientist. But i can gladly say that i ain't as human as you, because i frankly don't trust anyone anymore.

Weee. Score 1 for the human race. I'll get you back, don't you worry.

By the fucking by... ask a dumb person... preferrably a person who is such a heavy drinker they come off as alcohol damaged... ask them if they are homo sapien.

Fuckers!

[False_Dragon]

Here's a simple one for you.

Tinnitus

Not exactly my usual social rants, but important none the same. I suffer from this bloody bastard of a condition.

Ringing in teh ears.

I think another member here has it, not sure... but in any case, it sucks dogs cheesy balls. It's not as bad as it used to be, but it still pisses me off. Especially at night when i'm trying to go to sleep.

The worse parts were like years ago, when my hearing would completely drop out, then have a ringing so loud i can't hear a bastard word. That could happen three times a day... everyday.

But that hasn't happened in a loooooooong while.





Well, i couldn't be bothered wasting ranting energy on humanity and all, it's just not fucking worth it. Just seemed like something to do, so i wouldn't have to write a fucking book.

-till next time.

[False_Dragon]

bump.... ;)

[False_Dragon]

ah, i seem to have lost direction in my rants... as valuable as direction may be... these rants are fucking random, i don't need any damned "direction"...

The cold.

The cold sucks, my balls have shrivelled to the size of peas, and look like grapefruits... I hate this fucking weather.

Terrorists.

Do yourself a favour. Shoot yourself in fucking the head.

You have now officially wiped out one heretic of your religion, one infidel. Congratulations.

[False_Dragon]

Fuck this.

You know what? I tried so fucking hard not to make this a personal thread... really, obviously, as biased as i may sound, I've made my views objective. That is no fucking more.

Love.

Ah, the one, the only, the fairy fucking tale of the world. Love, what is love... what is it?

"love ( P ) Pronunciation Key (lv)
n.
A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance."

"underlying oneness"??? What a load of cock-and-bull. No one can tell how one truly feels... Regardless of any given situation, empathy isn't exactly going as far as a mental oneness.

I loved someone once. Once. Really truly loved them. And they fucking treated me like shit. I've never been in a proper relationship, and not likely to. And i'm so fucking alone. I see couples around me all the time, talking, holding hands, kissing... and i think; "Why the fuck not me? Why am i so different?" Seeing couples makes me fucking depressed, because they have found something that they weren't looking for, and are experiencing "love".

The ultimate irony is, i've been looking for love, for ages. All i ever truly asked for in this life was to love and be loved.

The girl i fancy constantly talks about her boyfriend at work, mainly about sex... and this depresses me to no end. I wish she'd fucking stop. It's like she's rubbing it in, because she knows how i feel. Well, i gave her the URL to this site to specifically read these pages... in hindsight, i probably shouldn't have... but i doubt she'd get this far. If she does. Then i hope she understand...

EVERY fucking time i like someone, it's the same damn story. They don't like me, or they're not "looking" (in other fucking words, they're hung up on someone else)

And then, every other fucking 13 yr old, wholly innapropriate in their infatuation, say the love me.

Well, i'm destined to be lonely. Big fucking deal. Back to killing the rest of Humanity.

[False_Dragon]

Lets backtrack a thousand years and one day.... to a topic called 13 yr olds.

It all started with a good friend of mine... who was pretty much the epitome of what i wrote in that thread... I tried so friggin hard to help her stay on the right as opposed to the wrong track...

And now, after not having seen her for over a year... She's pregnant.

Fuck-ing hell. This has got me torn inside out, upside down, because she couldn't keep her legs shut, even though she's still a fucking child... And i told her this would happen before i left Australia...

So why do i feel like i've failed her? :cry:

[False_Dragon]

You know what? This is all so fucked up right here.

She's goddamn 14. Four-fucking-teen. And i fucking told her, i told her, i told her. And i tried so goddamned hard to help her when i was with her, help her back on the right track.

I tried, i swear, i really tried, so hard, I tried, i tried, i tried...

.. And now all this is for naught.

Now readers, fuck off, and let me cry.

[False_Dragon]

Great. Now she wants my help.

What the hell am i supposed to do now? She asked me if i'd help her out if she kept the baby... I being the nice person i am, said i'd help as much as i could...

I just always seem to dig myself a hole...

[False_Dragon]

So, it got personal a-fucking-gain.

On to.. Christians (Evangelical Christians of america)

More people have died under this name and it's inherent causes than any other religion, cult, or society. It represents the worst that humanity has to offer, ironically because they want to save us.

Indeed. I find it rather interesting how elitist this particular religion is. It claims that it's way is the only way to "salvation". They are intolerant of any religion, any other religion that isn't their own... and yet still find a way to discriminate within their own fucking ranks.

Any other religion is pretty much tolerable to another... But, these guys hate anything that isn't one of them. Other religions will say of Christianity: "It's ok, they're on the wrong path but their hearts are in the right place" Buddhism, Islam... so on. But to them, any other religion is intolerable, evil, the work of "Satan".

Fucking great. What i find more interesting is the message, the real message of the four Gospels; Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. The message inherent within these pages is one of Peace, Love, tolerance, and brotherhood to all mankind.

Now, take a step back, does this look like the christianity we know now? Hell no.

Now, i know many Christians. A lot from the south of America, or within the appropriately named: "Bible Belt". It just seems like they've got the wrong fucking idea.

In any case, if there were a true loving God, he wouldn't create us, inborn with "sin" and then chuck us in a big fat fire for not listening to him, when we couldn't even fucking hear him. There are so many nice, good, true people, out there, that these so-called "christians" say are going to hell. Just because they do not believe.

Also, these "Christians" seem to like to pick and choose what they want to believe in the bible. For sure, it said in the bible that sinners (adulterers) should be stoned to death. It fully advocates it! Do these Christians do it? Naw... Because it's wrong. But no, when it comes to homosexuals... (which was never actually mentioned in the very first original scripts). The bible fully advocates slaves, stonings, mercy killings, drinking, underage marriage (and henceforth sex).

and, they liken themselves to God, with their petty self-righteous ways.

It's fucking pathetic. Ok, i know MANY Christians. Some are the nicest people in the world, so this mainly applies to the "evangelical Christians".

[False_Dragon]

I would again like to say, that the christians in this country(Cornwall, England), that i have met anyway, are the nicest people in the world. They also seem to have a more intellectual approach. And a more friendly approach. In fact, i can't count how many times i've seen them take in people off the streets, as dishevelled as they were, and gave them a meal.

Now that's good will. That's brotherhood.

[False_Dragon]

As a final thought on this matter, it is ironic that something with such good intentions as Christianity represents the absolute worst, and the absolute best that humankind has to offer.

:xmas: - Merry Christmas folks :cheers:

[False_Dragon]

The cold

again, i would just like to say it sucks. especially when you're in the middle of a field in a makeshift shed, with wooden planks literally milliimetres thick. Oh, and no heating.

[False_Dragon]

Hate.

Where's the hate gone??? I can't think of a single thing to hate right now :confused: :dozey:

I know who to blame... :confused: people and their making me open my eyes... to my narrow-mindedness... But for fun, and old times sake, i shall think of something....









... eventually :dozey:

[False_Dragon]

Ah, here we go.

Women and their "bad boys"

This is a particularly painful one for me, countless times i have been rejected mainly because of a bad guy. Doesn't matter if i'm the girls friend, and the "bad guy" picks on me, nooooooooo oh, they'll still date 'em, and fuck 'em.

So, i ask, what is it with you women and bad boys? Is it because of an inherent tendencies towards the fittest of the species? An emergent inheritance from way back when we were fucking animals? This is the new century! We are seperate from that! It's no excuse!

But the ultimate irony of this is, and to this i laugh... You women will inevitably, and always complain that your boyfriend or infatuation is a goddamn bastard.

[False_Dragon]

ha ha.

I like that above one, tsk tsk... really it really is funny. I dare you to go out and chronicle the progress of your crush dating a "bad boy" then laugh at yourself because you look like fucking idiot who has nothing better to do than stalk people.


Megan
Now, i'm going to say this, Megan you are a fucking slut, a self obsessed bitch who cares not for the likes of others, and only for your next fuck (which by right's, will cost the next person who comes along a packet of ciggarettes), you hurt all your friends, you family and whoever fucking else because you don't listen to what they say. Your drugs are going to fuck you up, your boyfriends are going to fuck you up even more, when you arent out fucking someone else out. You are self-destructive, selfish and ignorant. Above all of this though.. you were my friend.

Pity you can't read this, and if you do.. go fuck yourself, i have no time for you anymore.

[False_Dragon]

*is shocked* eep, where is the humour? I see seriousness and no humour and sarcasm.

*thinks*




School.
What a weird place school is. What i find fnny about school is that most of the dipshits here think they are in the real world. bah ha. They construct their own feeble universe, where popularity and grouping of social idiosyncracy and stereotype is emergent. The nerds, the jocks, the fashion police, the rejects, the druggies, the... well you get the fucking idea. It's so.. fake.

I was a "nerd" or a "reject" i wasn't socially fashionable, i wasn't cool, and i was reading books like The eye of the world (primary school) while they were reading books like "how to draw, for kids". what a bunch of fucking dumbasses. Then came high school, and the teasing and all that began. What a brutal cruel place it is. Children are fucking animals. If you don't belong in the social heirarchy, you are going to be bullied. These people are not taught the difference between right and wrong. What's acceptable.

Well there's another ultimate irony of life here; those dicks who never grow out of this "fuck you i'm a child" mentality, will end up in a viscious cycle and be bums for the rest of their lives. You brought it on yourselves, go figure.



I hate the fact that teachers told me i wouldn't get a decent job because of bad grades. most employees never look at school grades. I got so worried about this, i went into mild depression. I distinctly recall one time where i broke down and tried to break everything in my room, because i thought it wasn't worth it, i was gonna be a bum and there was nothing i could do about it.

Damn! what a fucking lie. It just sounds so fucking stupid. "If you don't get good grades, you'l never find a good job."

Fuckers. I got what i wanted in the end, right? an awesome job! So what the fuck?

[False_Dragon]

Ah, ok ok, this has been awhile, and this time, they're not the ravings of a depressed psychotic weirdo... aye, weird and nerd as i may be... psychotic i never was, but depressed i am no more. :p so... that's good.

Today my main vent is of a Video Game.

"Holy motherfucking shitty titties!" i hear you say... But do not worry, it's well grounded angst. It's of a game called Spartan: Total Warrior. Ok, don't get me wrong, i like this game, it's so epic, and combat's pretty fun... And it's purportedly based on historical fact.

More like Historical fat. (i couldn't think of a word that rhymes) the main star of the spectacular spectacle is an unnamed hero... Oddly, called "Spartan" by his Hero friends. A cash in on the Halo series perhaps, on the term "Spartan" and "super soldier" and "Ultimate lone Hero".. err... ok.

It's set around 300 BC, where the Roman Empire under Emperor Tiberius who's trying to forcefully annex Greece and City-State Sparta to his Empire.

Problem 1. Emperor Tiberius did not exist in 300 BC, in fact, he ruled around 30 AD, he was actually the Emperor in power when Jesus was crucified.

The King of Sparta is called Leonidas. He and his mighty army are fighting on the city walls to prevent the Roman siege gaining a foothold.

Problem 2. King Leonidas ruled around 500 BC, a nice century or two before the time period of the game in question. King Leonidas is rather well-known for his halt of the Persian Army in 480 BC at the battle of Thermopylae. He battled, along with his hand-picked 300 Spartan Hoplites, and 7000 greek citizen soldiers, to the last. He was overrun and killed, either due to the absolute size of the persian army, or the fact that they were betrayed by a Greek traitor called Ephilates. But. Not before killing a great many of the Persian soldiers, and thus now living in infamy.

Problem 3. Rome never reached Sparta in 300 BC, nor did it lay siege to it's wonderous walls.

In the opening lines of the game, a Spartan says, "The roman arrows will blot out the sun" to which our humble hero replies "Good, we shall have our battle in the shade".

Problem 4. This is actually a quote from the Battle of Thermopylae. A greek soldier said that the Persian archers are so numbered, that they will blot out the sun when fired. it is undecided whether that either King Leonidas replied with this, or Spartan called Dieneces(sp?). It may not be an actual quote, but yet represents the emotional disposition and high moral of the Spartan soldiers before the battle.

Tiberius is a corrupt little man, being manipulated by dark forces due to the likes of his Praetorian prefect, Sejanus.

Problem 5. Emperor Tiberius was one of the best emperors of Rome during the Julio-Claudian period. perhaps his only real fault was to have given Rome the son called Gaius...More well known as Caligula, the insane despot. He did actually have a Praetorian Prefect named Sejanus, who was a corrupt little bastard. And when Tiberius left to an island retreat during his later years, Sejanus ruled absolutely.

Ok, so i'm a history purist, and they slaughtered a whole lot of it.

[False_Dragon]

Kids.

I'm gonna go off on a whole tangent here and say that I hate kids.
I'm working at the cat shelter and a lady comes in with about 5 fucking kids. They run around, making so much noise, tripping over, crying, yelling jumping up and freakin' down, and opening all the doors to the pens. They'll letthe bloody cats out, and we'll end up chasing them instead of the fucking kids and but i'd rather be going after the kids and whaking them on the head with a poo picking implement... like a fucking poo scoop.

Parents, control your kids! All you need to do is whack them one if they do something wrong... or not... because this genius of a Government has made smacking kids, and telling children off in public, Illegal. What the fuck? What does this do? I'll tell you what, and you know i fucking will. It produces a citizen state of motherfucking reprobates. Of kids with an intellectual capacity of a fucking screw... only Screwing a screw would be useful, as opposed to, say... catching a sexually transmitted disease?

Ah, i'm back, i'm bad and i'll be in your face if you piss me off. there's my fire... roaaarrrr whatever, now fuck off, i have kids to eat.

EDIT: most of you should know who had once read this, in the before-time, i don't really mean "fuck off" right? I'm passing on a tradition here, of telling people to fuck off for the sake of it, you know highlight the mood a little, i want to make you understand, and if that means I offend your moral sensibilities in regards to swearing, then so be it. The point is, well there is no point.

Oh, and PS: i don't understand why anyone would want to bring more than one kid into this world, one's enough, i'm not saying let's do what China does, but puh-leese

[False_Dragon]

woot

Groups of people standing inanely on a small cycle track blocking the friggin way.
yep, you heard me. I'm happily cycling along a bike track when WHAM! a large group of people walking is in my way... oh oh no, there's nothing orderly about it, oh no, course not, they have to be friggin everywhere and i have to slow down. finally get past them, over a hill... and

SHAM! there's a group of friggin cyclists standing around!... oh they're bloody well not organised either... can't take the short cut over a jump mound, there be kids on it! going "oh my god, it's a small hill! should i go down it, or shouldn't i oh gosh... weeeeee!" More kids. tsk tsk Britain.

ick, well least i scored an hours work at the bike hire today.

[False_Dragon]

A little bit of sex.
Ok, a fairly ordinary one, but it's a little shit when it's been over a freakin' year.

ouch.

[False_Dragon]

I have been watching this rather well known television series religiously... Wanna guess which one? Here's a clue: 4 8 15 16 23 42.

The sum of which is 108, the time of which, in minutes, is a countdown to enter these numbers again.

If you have a decent flashplayer - www.thehansofoundation.org

The "Hanso Foundation" is running a program called the DHARMA initiative, of which there is a "Station 3" or the "Swan station". Which is as far as i can tell "accelerated remote viewing station" whatever the hell that means. I guess most people, reading this would be... lost by now.

[False_Dragon]

This quotation from gravelly voiced bounty hunter Spike Speigel is quite appropriate at this juncture.

It all starts with a little get together at mine, that quickly turns into a small party. Anyway, i ended up pulling this bird who i quite fancied, *Sexy. Excellent! However my brother doesn't approve, he's trying to set me up with this girl that his girlfriend knows, who apparently, thinks like me, and could understand me really well as a person *brain. That's one in a fucking million right there.

I go to the pub on friday night with *sexy and friends, we talk and talk, no pulling just talking. Then, randomly, this girl comes up to say "hi". I met her at a festival the previous week, nothing happened at all we just had a swordfight and stuff. er... in the literal sense, not what you might think, you fucking sicko's. Anyway, at the pub, she asks for my number. pause. "It's for my friend!" she exclaims *glasses. Which truth be known, it actually was. Anyway, this girl leaves me with my number for *glasses.

Keep talking to *sexy, we leave and before i go jump up and do the Tj thing; peck her on the cheek, and run away, lol. Nothing much happened

Next day, text *glasses a lot rar rar rar.

I go to the bike hire, where for some strange reason *sexy is there. We talk a bit, she then goes to leave. "Shit, i don't have her number". I was too scared to ask her. "You fucking *****!" exclaims the boss "I'll go get it for you"... he walks out the door... and then he shouts across the car park; "*Sexy, Tj wants your number, but he's too afraid to ask!"

She walks up to me, and says i'm really silly, and gives me her number. Score!

This all seems fairly straight forward. But it isn't. I get home and my sister tells me that *sexy isn't really interested in me at all, or so my sisters friend said. Who also turned up. And said, everything was fine, but i read my sisters phone and she was blatantly lying to my face.

Anywho. I get a phone call from *sexy, and everything seems fine, we just talk a bit. Then after this, my mate turns up with her, and we go for a drive... through scary woods, we hold hands and stuff all night. yeah, like so 3rd grade right there. But everything's cool.

Everything's really cool, but overly complicated. I have a decision to make, Brain, sexy, or glasses. I haven't actually met brain yet, but i've seen a picture, and she's hot.

[False_Dragon]

And, as i write this, i find myself staring in a rather perplexed manner at a bacon and egg roll.

Yes folks, i am hungover and struggling to eat my breakfats. Breakfats? wtf?! Breakfast, there you go, silly little spelling mistake. I want to start selling "mistake" ,"mystake" ranodm. wtf!? again.

Life has been kind, but not to thy head, what with the headache and the pain and whatnot. I met up with "Brain" and she's amazing. She's gorgeous, and intelligent and everything else, and we have so much in common. We're seeing each other, i think, but we're taking things slow, which is good. I like slow.

A rather insoluble pancake... how anyone could like me. especially someone as amazing as her. and she is, oh she is.

[False_Dragon]

catch up time. About friggin time.

That chick i was talking about "brain", she was a big big mistake. I was too busy being told what to think i couldn't see what i had right in front of me. By the time i had realised my mistake, "sexy" had found another guy.

now to stand on ceremony i now present to you my newest of new rant-

Fucking Beer Goggles
You know you go out, you have a few, and you end up in a club chatting to this bird who looks quite hot, and seems like a really nice girl. you exchange numbers, agree to meet up, and have a pleasant chat on the way.

Fast forward a week you see her... and my god does she take your breath away...

Not before stifling the puke that's just entered your mouth.

Oh she was terrible. She was Hanging. a munter... oh dear god why did just not walk away pretend i hadn't seen her, to avoid the experience no the nightmare of a date with her? WHYYYY?

i'm never seeing her again.

Rant over.