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View Full Version : Shadowspawn Enterprises... This should be fun.


Vashna
3rd November 2004, 09:13
I wanted to do something different. Originally I planned to make a comic of some sort from this, but frankly I just can’t be bothered to put that much effort in. (Plus as I have mentioned elsewhere I find drawing tedious, and I did not want to just copy something like WoT Now)

The basic premise is in fact centred around events that have happened in the past on Wotism. Many of these events have involved me, but surprisingly enough I rarely started them. However for those who do not remember due to my long absence or are new, I tended to be a little on the deranged side with a shadowspawn food business, turned army, turned gardeners etc. This is the basis for Shadowspawn Enterprises.

The Cast
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Making a glorious return to the boards (unless someone else has been using him) is Biff, the gay myrddraal, who was then turned invisible. Biff enjoys gardening, cooking, long walks on the beach and occasional bouts of bloody slaughter. On second thoughts not so bloody, he does so hate to ruin his new outfits.

Another group of characters returning are the mice. These mice were created in the labs, (or stolen from a mice-hunting loon in the white tower either one) and have the ability to shape shift into beautiful women (needless to say they are all female). Unfortunately like most women in Randland they are actually quite dim. Of course the fact that their brains are literally mice sized may be the cause not their sex.

As a spin off of the mice the one and only male mouse (quite a lucky fellow) also with the ability to shape shift (except into a dude). Known as Mickey (yeah I know lame) he was at first created as a field commander for the mice, brighter and more cunning than the others. Unfortunately it all went wrong and now Mickey has gone bad, and is plotting to take over the mouse cage!!!... Wait I mean Shadowspawn Enterprises then the world!!! Mickey’s forces are made up of five female mice, his… wait for it… Minnies! (yup couldn’t resist).

Alongside the enigmatic Biff (mainly enigmatic because he is invisible) is Hans. Brought up by Biff he is fiercely loyal protecting his mentor at all costs. Unfortunately this has resulted in him, more often than not, running into Biff repeatedly while trying to help. As a gardener and masseuse he is highly skilled, as a trolloc… Well he could be better.

Fortunately for Biff there is a more skilled trolloc waiting around the corner to help. At Shadowspawn Enterprises female trollocs are taught etiquette and well, breeding. Gladys is in charge of the department, and out of the trollocs she is perhaps the scariest. Shockingly her intellect is similar to that of a fade, and she outstrips the other trollocs easily.

This is the cast of Shadowspawn Enterprises, at least in the beginning. As for when you can expect the first edition, soon.

ED
PS: The poll was for after I actually put some story thingies up here, but thats alright, just don't change your minds.

Vashna
7th November 2004, 00:59
Okay so I've discovered something, its much harder to sit down with the intention of writing something funny than just doing it on the spur of the moment. As a result the following trial run of SE may not be all that good, or funny.

Basically this is just to test the format etc so that I can change it if its not working. (that means people have to post stuff, shocking I know)

Basically this came from thinking about it for 10 min so the idea behind the story of this Episode (as I am calling them) wasn't really thought out, so bear with it. Neither is it complete but I am going to shut up now and let you make up your own mind, (unless there are more than 1 of you or you have more than one mind, then you can make up your minds).
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-------- Episode 1: The Lair --------

Deep underground his minions were driving slaves, excavating and building his new home. Mickey looked down into the pit watching as the humans tunnelled under the watchful eyes of five beautiful women.

Mickey: On second thoughts they’re not so watchful, I can’t believe how stupid they are.

Mickey picked up one of the many lumps of cheese beside him (if you asked him he would deny that his love for cheese has anything to do with the fact he is a transforming mouse) and threw it across to strike one of the slaves trying to escape. The human began rolling back down into the pit collecting other slaves as he went until at last they fell into one of the tunnels, then came out another one, and fell back in, then came out the first again, until finally they came to a rest.

Stepping out of the giant wheel (yet again nothing to do with the transforming mouse bit) Mickey, in human form, made his way to the nearest of the five women.

Mickey: Minnie!

Five women turned to look at him, and he had to throw the lump of cheese in his hand to stop another slave escaping.

Mickey: Just Minnie 3. (sighs)

None of the women moved.

Mickey: Her! (pointing at the Minnie in front of him)

Finally they turned around except for Minnie 3. As Mickey tried to remember why he had brought them with him he looked the Minnie up and down. Among other things it jolted his memory, and he new immediately why he brought her (mainly because of the other things that were “jolted”).

Mickey: This is taking to long, I want my Lair completed sooner. Go get me some more slaves. And some more cheese.

Without a word the Minnie began to shrink, until she turned into a mouse. Seconds later she was scampering down a small tunnel in the earth. Mickey returned to his wheel, and thought about how he escaped from Shadowspawn Enterprises.

----- The Escape -----

Mickey looked around at the walls that contained him, it was clearly a maze, and they had made him take mouse form. He hated that form, he was human, why couldn’t they let him be a human already? ‘I’m not going to play their stupid games.’ He thought, and transformed back to his normal, human form. Now he towered above the maze, and he tried to step out of it.

Mickey: Why won’t this blo…(censored for innocent Wotists (ie noone))

Mickey’s feet were stuck, transforming had made them too big for the maze and now he couldn’t even move.

Hans: Hehe, stupid mousey.

Reaching down Mickey ripped a miniature gargoyle of the maze and threw it at the trolloc.

Mickey: Here go play with this you stupid oaf.

Hans: Hay it lok like me, why you got small me?

Mickey: I don’t you moron, now go and play with it and leave me alone.

Hans: Play with myself?

Mickey: Yes your… (cue endless laughter)

Hans looks puzzled.

Hans: Mousey head not right.

Mickey: My head is perfectly fine you… (Mickey manages to get a foot free but the momentum causes him to fall over and hit his head on the floor.

Hans: See, mousey stupid.

Hans walks away, muttering to the miniature gargoyle. Mickey blacks out and shrinks back to his mouse form.

(to be continued)