Hellfire-ry

[Hellfire]

Kewl. A diary.




Anyways, here's a little FAQ about Myself

Name : Hellfire3325 (That's all you need to know)
*SUPER NEW UPDATE OMG* Age : 17
Date of Birth : 04/04/89
Eyes : Blue/green (They change...Spooky)
Hair : Curly, Brown

Ok, I was born in a small suburb in Toronto, and that is where I lived for about three years. My father then got an offer for a job in a small city a hour from Toronto, so we packed our bags and moved to Waterloo Ontario. (Not the greatest city, but a nice place to grow up). I basically grew up on video games , T.V, Piano, and Basketball (Especially Video games.).

Anyways, that's just about all people really need to know about me. So I'll just write in random mumblings here every so often. I'll start right.....Now

09.18.2004
12:01 PM ET
Status : Tired
Mood : Board

Meh. Dads birthday was yesterday. Twas fun, lots of gifties. Gave him the 9/11 Commison report. Rest of the day was subpar. Went to school, Went to french class, Cdn History class, then At lunch I got terribly Ill so I was sent home *Hell Yeah!* Where I watched Rocky and Bullwinkle and Slept *double Hell yeah!* I highly recomend to everyone to take a sick day, especiallly on a friday. It is choice.

However, there was reprecussions for my illness. I can't get together with my buds since My dad thinks I'm still sick as a dog (I'm actually feeling a lot better now), so here I am, "resting" in the house. '

Think I'll go for A bike ride. He has to sleep sometime.

[Hellfire]

09.18.2004
11: 25 AM ET
Staus : Wounded! Yeouch!
Mood : Full of rage.

Damn Desk... STUB my toe, will you. Where's that Saw...

Kinda jumped on my computer chair and slamed into my desk. Ouchie...
Anyway, Today started off a little iffy. Sister came home drunk as a dog last night at two in the morning and claimed she didn't know what time it was, and that's why she was late.

Yet when she woke up, she was as perky as a five year old.

Interesting.

Inspector Hellfire is on the case!!! Dun dun duuunnnn...

Guess what seamonkeys? Hellfire forgot to bring home his work, so now I have to get to class at five in the morning and do my homework then. Must go to sleep at seven tonight... Stupid me.

Lastly, am no longer sick. Now I can go hang out with my buds in peace.....well, as much peace as you can get when you're hurling junk at each other

[Hellfire]

<===== YOU ALL KNOW MY NAME
YOU ALL KNOW THE DATE
YOU ALL KNOW THE TIME
Status : Ya'know? Status is kinda like Mood, so status is no more. Buh Bye Status!
Mood : Goods. Nows that I'm homes

Alright seamonkeys, Hellfire just came back from standing in the cold and freezing rain for four hours, all the while greeting people and handing them borcures about a new building. Ya know How much Money I got for this job? 10 an hour you say? 12? NAY. I DIDN'T GET PAID AT ALL.. I VOULNTERED. God damn, out of all the stupid cozy warm jobs that were inside, I got stuck with the greeter job. Not only that, I got a huge ass sunburn on my face. So I was cold, wet, and burning. All the while acting as perky as a daisy to the visitors.

NEVER AGAIN.

One cool thing about today though, My family sprung for a ping pong table! awright! Played ping pong all right. ASIAN STYLE.. HOOOYA!!!

Alright seamonkeys, that's all you get.

[Hellfire]

<===== YOU ALL KNOW MY NAME
YOU ALL KNOW THE DATE
YOU ALL KNOW THE TIME
Mood : Y'a know? I'm gonna ditch this segment to. Cuz if I don't, all of these entrys Will look A little like this :

Mood : Angry
Mood : Angry
Mood : Angry
Mood : Hungry
Now : Angry (no food)

Anyway, Here ya go Seamonkeys, The current List of Qualifyers in the band contest

Aerosmith, Van Halen, Guns 'N Roses

....I'll update this post later when More bands are Qualified.

So, I was like at the mall today, and this guy comes up to me and says "Dude, you can't park your car there!" And I'm all like "Woah, get outta my face big disgrace!" And he's all like "Oh yeah, wanna take this outside?"

That's when I ran over his toes. Twice.

Yeah, so then the cops showed up, the lights went out, A LOT OF FINGERS WERE POINTED, But in the end I finnaly got home with a loaf of bread, stick 'O butter, and a cup of milk.

So then I head up to my room, and suddenly a hear this really loud *whish* sound, so I look out the window and just as I suspected, It was Mr. Dean Martin, riding a missle. So he's all like "Come with me, hellfire, and we shall explore strange new lands" And I'm all like "Yeah right, why don't you come up here and tell that to my face? Coward!" So, get this. Then he acts all insulted like "Geez, I was just trying to be friendly. Don't have to get all angry"

That's when I threw my lamp.

Heh, Nailed 'em in the temple

By the way, if your still reading this, stop. Look up, and slap yourself. Don't you have a mother that you should call? Ya know, tell her how your doing, Ask her how she's feeling. She loves you, ya know. Don't ask me why.

That's all you get, seamonkeys, now scram.

[Hellfire]

<===== YOU ALL KNOW MY NAME
YOU ALL KNOW THE DATE
YOU ALL KNOW THE TIME

Alright, seamonkeys. Here's another addition to the always amazing journal of yours truly.

Today, went to a funeral. Funerals suck. Especially if you didn't really know the person. I didn't have to go, but I knew It ment a lot to my dad if I did. So I put on a suit and hopped on over.

Gad. I HATE wearing suits. I can barely lift my arms wearing em'.

Anyway, after the funeral my sister had a couple of her guy friends over. I swear to god, they kick ass. They're only 13, and they each have mastered either the base, electric, or the drums. Not only that, but they're friggin hillarious. So I got to hang with them and A couple of other buds who came over. Twas' fun.

Awright, now a little about thanksgiving. Which, in Canada, was a week ago.

Went to the parade and got the best damn seats because I got to watch on the balcony of my mothers theatre. It was a choice spot. After that, it was off to the soup kitchen to help my fellow man.....Naw, just fuckin' with you. I basically spent the day with my mom and two sisters, watching crappy 80's movies (Ever heard of "The Last Unicorn"? ugh), Eating , and doing homework. Everything save the last part rocked. Rocked hard.

Uhh.. Let's see. Had parent-teacher meetings this week. All my teachers said I was such a bright student, but I needed to review my notes since my test scores sucked. Yah, Like I'M gonna do THAT. Pff.

Uh, watched Shawn of the Dead on thursday. It kicked F*&%^% ass. Seriously. I came into the theatre thinking it would be full of cheap laughs, but I was plesently surprized by it's creative parody on comedic romace and horror flicks. Friggin hillarious, I say again.

That's all you get seamonkeys, now scram! Look at the above post. Do you know where your mother is? If you don't call her, You'll make baby jesus cry.

DON'T MAKE BABY JESUS CRY

[Hellfire]

<===== YOU ALL KNOW MY NAME
YOU ALL KNOW THE DATE
YOU ALL KNOW THE TIME


God damn internet explorer. I was just about finished with my latest log and it crashed. Here we go again

Well seamonkeys, You've got a treat today. Uncle Hellfire updated his journal. Hooray, You all live such enriching lives.

Anyhoo, Not much has happened lately, oh, except the fact that HAWKEYE IS DEAD. THAT'S RIGHT HAWKEYE IS DEAD. Just read avengers #502 and the next person they killed off was hakeye. I mean Ant Man, I don't care he was boring anyway. Thor, he's way overdue (Even though he didn't really die). The Vision, well, he sucked anyway. But Hawkeye. I just don't get it.

http://home.no.net/asskicr/Superheros/source/hawkeye.jpg

R.I.P Hawkeye, yee shall be missed.

Anyhoo, my life has been going pretty well for the past couple of days. No unexpected surprizes, no crazy turn of events, yup. Things seem pretty normal these days.

I'm about to go insane.

SOMETHING needs to be done. I dunno, a car bomb, a fight, something! I'm dieing of bordom here! yeesh.

Anyway, I'm gonna go hit the hay....With a perverbial cinderblock...cuz I'm freakin' tired.

Now scram.

[Hellfire]

<===== YOU ALL KNOW MY NAME

Yeah. Ditching the time and date thing. Too fucking lazy.

Awright seamonkeys, gather round, It's time for Ol' Grandpappy hellfire to tell ya a story.

Once upon a frosty winters night, amidst the pale moon, a young lad was trudging through the snow. He was tired and weary from his long day of hunting molerats and veal, and he craved hot cocoa and beans of the Lima. After several steps, he finnaly collasped.

Now you may be thinking "My god! This strapping young boy will most definatly die in that kind of Blistering blowing blizzard!" Don't lie. I know you were thinking it.

Well that is where you are wrong my friends.

The boy rose up from his snowy tomb and said "Nay. I shall not be kilt by Jack frost's murderous rampage. I want to live! And live I shall!!!" He then picked up a conveniatly placed hammer out from under him and threw it towards the heavens. A mighty throw it was indeed! So mighty that even the gods couldn't ignore it!

And you know what happened next, my loyal subjects?

The hammer fell back 'twords the earth, killing the lad upon impact.

THE END


There's your bedtime story seamonkeys. Now it's 2:00 over here for us eastern timezoner's, so scram. Gotta hit the haystack.

[Hellfire]

<===== YOU ALL KNOW MY NAME

Update update UP-date. Update update UP-date

Battle of the bands commin' up and my kazoo troupe has yet to hold a single meeting! We’ll never make it to the Nationals! Gad damn..

Anyways, Here's a poem I wrote in english class today since I was board as Fuck. *Ahem* (Note : Some parts don't really rhyme. But who cares! A POEM)

-The Life of Danny McJude-
By: Hellfire3325

On a cold chilly night in an evening of June
By the light and the stars but no shine of the moon
On a rock, not to far from a cackling loon
Was the birthplace of Danny McJude.

Born on a sugary plant, nay a leak
He was only a boy, and he certainly reeked
Ferocious, was he, yet his body was weak
He was nicknamed "Dumb Danny the Meek"

He soon swam to shore, for he needed some bread
For alas his wheat crops were most certainly dead
He planted the crops in a soilbed of lead
Danny was not right in the head

When he entered town, oh the sight! Oh the shock!
"That hermit doth smell like Beelzebub's sock!"
The townsfolk all fell to the ground like a rock,
Danny sheireked "My smell, do not mock!"

And Danny just sat and he started to Cry
he just cried cried cried cried cried cried Lord! He did cry!
"As soon as I'm born I am destined to Die!
Oh why was I born! Why Why Why!"

And that is the story of Danny McJude
Who had been born in June, by the light of no moon
and if you go back to his birthplace, The Croon!
You can still hear the cackling Loon.

http://www.gellyroll.com/art/artists/schatzmann/loon.jpg
Bwa ha ha ha ha

Awright. That's all for today, so until next time....SCARM!.....I mean SCRAM!

[Hellfire]

S'all right. S'all right! S'all...right?

Just had a wonderfull thanksgiving..... A month ago.....good ol' Canada, may her majestic provinces and exuberant hockey fans live for eternity in our hearts. God bless em'.

Any hoo, This is just a quick update to let all y'alls know that hellfire is still alive. Nice try, ya bastards. It'll take more than a bounty to do away with ol' HF.

[Hellfire]

*Blows dust off thread*

Oh yeah, I have one of these!
Man, Those were some good times.
Hey, remember My first Post?

Ok, I was born in a small suburb in Toronto, and that is where I lived for about three years. My father then got an offer for a job in a small city a hour from Toronto, so we packed our bags and moved to Waterloo Ontario. (Not the greatest city, but a nice place to grow up). I basically grew up on video games , T.V, Piano, and Basketball (Especially Video games.).

Anyways, that's just about all people really need to know about me. So I'll just write in random mumblings here every so often. I'll start right.....Now

09.18.2004
12:01 PM ET
Status : Tired
Mood : Board

Meh. Dads birthday was yesterday. Twas fun, lots of gifties. Gave him the 9/11 Commison report. Rest of the day was subpar. Went to school, Went to french class, Cdn History class, then At lunch I got terribly Ill so I was sent home *Hell Yeah!* Where I watched Rocky and Bullwinkle and Slept *double Hell yeah!* I highly recomend to everyone to take a sick day, especiallly on a friday. It is choice.

However, there was reprecussions for my illness. I can't get together with my buds since My dad thinks I'm still sick as a dog (I'm actually feeling a lot better now), so here I am, "resting" in the house. '

Think I'll go for A bike ride. He has to sleep sometime.

hahaha. Now that's what I call a sticky situation!
Hey, remember the first time I called you all Seamonkeys?

Guess what seamonkeys?

Oh lordy lordy lordy. Now that's what I call a sticky situation!
Man 'o man. These days seem to fly right by! I'm getting older by the second! Yet I still remember the time I talked about that boy in the winter....

Awright seamonkeys, gather round, It's time for Ol' Grandpappy hellfire to tell ya a story.

Once upon a frosty winters night, amidst the pale moon, a young lad was trudging through the snow. He was tired and weary from his long day of hunting molerats and veal, and he craved hot cocoa and beans of the Lima. After several steps, he finnaly collasped.

Now you may be thinking "My god! This strapping young boy will most definatly die in that kind of Blistering blowing blizzard!" Don't lie. I know you were thinking it.

Well that is where you are wrong my friends.

The boy rose up from his snowy tomb and said "Nay. I shall not be kilt by Jack frost's murderous rampage. I want to live! And live I shall!!!" He then picked up a conveniatly placed hammer out from under him and threw it towards the heavens. A mighty throw it was indeed! So mighty that even the gods couldn't ignore it!

And you know what happened next, my loyal subjects?

The hammer fell back 'twords the earth, killing the lad upon impact.

THE END


There's your bedtime story seamonkeys. Now it's 2:00 over here for us eastern timezoner's, so scram. Gotta hit the haystack.

Hohoho...Now that's what I call a sticky situation!

Man. We certainly had a lot of fun over the years, didn't we? And we're gonna have a whole lot more!
*wink*

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE CAST OF HELLFIRE-RY!!!!

*Hellfire-ry*
18th September 2004 -- ?

[Hellfire]

Here is a song I just wrote for my band.

rOcK jAm
http://www.stormchasing.nl/pics/strike.gif
JAMMIN' ROUND THIS NATION SINCE 2004

I'm the frontman vocalist and do a little Guitar work. Don't Have a Stage name yet.

Here It is. Gimmie some feedback.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mr.T is Fucking Jesus
rOcK jAm
Composed by Hellfire3325

(Slow, gentle acoustic)
Do You remember that show in the 80’s?
The one with the criminals’s and ladies?
Then You’ll remember the man, Who had one hell of a plan,
And he’ll do all that he can, for a desperate fan,
and he had one helluva van.


(Guitar Solo)

Mr. T is fucking Jesus
Mr. T is fucking Jesus
Mr. T is fucking Jesus
So drink your Milk and Kiss my ass


(Guitar solo)

(Scream) Mr T! He’s Mr.T! Fuck you Rocky! Fuck you Murdock! Fuck you Hulk Hogan! Don’t even Fucking Look at me, Hogan! Fuck You Eek the cat! Fuck you Alvin and the fucking Chipmunks! Fuck you Inspector Gadget! Fuck you Jesse Ventura! You cock sucking son of a bitch Governer! You sold out! You fucking sell out! Fuck you Ghandi! Fuck you sony! Fuck you Napoleon! And Fuck you Jesus! Your not Jesus! Cuz


Mr. T is fucking Jesus
Mr. T is fucking Jesus
Mr. T is fucking Jesus
So drink your Milk and Kiss my ass

[Hellfire]

THE FAT MAN COMES IS SIX DAYS

ALERT THE MEDIA

[Hellfire]

whoop! Oh, hey baby.... Yeah, I know I haven't used you in a while. I've been busy... No, there's no other blog in my world but you, baby.... You know you're my number 1..... Yeah I don't care what your friends say! I've been faithful! aww baby, don't cry... c'mere and let daddy treat you right..

That was peculiar.

Sry, haven't posted in a while. Exam season was upon me and my internet usage was forbidden by the man. But I broke out, and now I'm back. Hoo-ray

Got a couple of new rOcK jAm songs. I'll have 'em up by on friday. Also, started a new comic, It's called Edwardo an' Peach's (yeah, both names are intentionally spelt incorrectly). Soon as I get a scanner it'll be up. Though me getting a scanner might take till april. So don't get yer hopes up.

Lessie, when we last left off, Hellfire was talking about Santa Claus, which means it has been a long fucking time since I have posted. So I'll just sum of my life over the past month.

Things have been going all right. Exams are over, and my marks were pretty dang low. Gotta boost em up this term and do my friggin homework and study. Went to three parties over the last month, with two of them being new years parties, and one that I hosted.

I did a whole lotta other crap, but I can't remember it. I should use this blog more often, it gets lonely.

Saw ton's of movies to get a good idea of which films deserve an Oscar. So far I'm going with Finding Neverland.

Got nominated for two wotties! Since I don't post often, that's lookin' pretty damn fine, oh yeah. Nominee for Avatar of the year was a pleasant surprise

Hockey is still in a lockout. Who the fuck cares? Even canadians don't care anymore.

Oh, and my stupid Electric guitar broke. I have no friggin clue why it won't work and I don't have the funds to find out. Guess it's back to the 'ol jug for me.

[Hellfire]

Ok, I lied. I forgot to put the songs up. I'll have em up soon though

Today was valentines day, and I woke up to ice all over the roads. This was god telling me not to go to school today. However when It comes to gods divine will and my mothers stern looks, I'll obey the latter and thus, I was off to school, slipping and falling on my ass the whole way. Throughout the whole day, there were only about five student (including myself) in each of my classes. This was once again god, though this time he was telling me I should have listined to him. Goodness he was right.

Although some good did come out from school, as most of my friends were also forced into attending, so finding someone to hangout with proved to be quick and easy. We then set forth to do our valentines tradition : Asking any female we meet to marry us. Great year for me, I got three yesses, about 5 laughs, about 15 nos, and about 27 weird glares. Yup, things are certain lookin' up in the ol female department.

My physics teacher is a monster. He still made us do work, even though no-one was there. Ah well, he's a funny guy, so I guess I can let it slide. And we watched "Selina" in spanish today, which intensifys my hatred of Jennifer Lopez tenfold.

[Hellfire]

God Fucking Damn. I don't wanna go to that stupid semi-formal. No one will join me in dressing up like frenchmen and hitting people over the head with baguettes, which is weird since the theme of the dance is "A Night in Paris" (Yeah. A Night in PARIS. Not only is that lame, It's dirty). I don't want to enact my mad scheme alone, so I can either a) suffer through it with my buds and form a stag possé or b) Stay at home and watch the jumping box.

Well, ticket sales end tomorrow, so I gotta come to a discussion quick...

...

ORRR......

I could take this the reality TV way!


Hellfire-ry Viewers Poll

UH-OH! Looks like that rascal Hellfire has got himself into another wily misadventure! Do you think he should:

A) Attend the Stinky ol' dance
B) Not Attend the Stinky ol' dance
C) Take off his pants
D) The Cotton Gin.

This accounts for 48% of your final mark

[Hellfire]

Wow, how many posts does it take to make two pages? I wanna feel big!

Edit : Whoop, here we are.


THE HELLFIRE-RY MONUMENTOUS TWO PAGE SPECTACULAR!

"I don't even like it!"


Many years ago a woman gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. Bountiful with buoyant bemusement, he bounded from beautiful babe to blessed, boisterous beacon, behold him! For he stands before you! He is Hellfire, and his blog is now two (count em!) TWO pages long! Let's give em a hand!

*Cheers from my adoring public (that means you!)*


Thank you! Thank you! No, thank..thank you! Yes..Aha..yeah thank you! Well I...Thank you! Yes Thank you...Uh huh...yeah...Thank you... Thanks..

Well, I can't believe it, two whole pa..yes Thank you... TWO whole pages of ramblings, songs and guffaws abounding. I must say, I am impressed with myself! Overall, It has been a good run. We've had a lot of laughs, alot of strange noises, and alot of pie. But unfortunately, with the weary passage of time comes changes. Yes, while hellfire-ry has had no complaints as of yet, (And we at Hellfire inc. are very disappointed with that statistic) we believe that we can only make our humble endeavor more enjoyable to the public domain. Honored stockholders, you might want to pay attention to this one.

Fiscal Report 2004

Profits rose a record 0% this year, a number we are quite content with. Such projects we undertook this year certainly paid off for the company, such as the full length, animated motion picture "Ladies do it diagonally". Staring Whoppi Goldberg and Keven Spacy. We're sure you've already read the glorious reviews, so we won't bore you with the details. Also, our sponsored rock group, "rOcK jAm" had a phenomenal run this year, touring across ontario with such hits as "I killed my cat" and "Jesus invented Toilet Paper". We here at Hellfire inc. are also proud to announce "rOcK jAm's" new album, "Stalin Stole mine Strudel", dropping into various Compact Discquette store around the nation.

Changes for "Hellfire-ry" in 2005

Hellfire-ry is by far our most ambitious project since the Hellfire back scratcher/radio, and our creative team is working round the clock to make things better for YOU. A list of some improvements for 2005 are as follows

1. hellfire will regard himself as "Señor Scratch n Sniff", proceeding with his pleas for the viewer to smell him

2. All people hellfire hates will be referred to as "Butt plugs" and will be mocked for two paragraphs on their sexual orientation

3. Dogs will make cameo appearances each post

4. Every third word in a sentence will contain the vowel "u" as statistics show that the American male ages 13-67 respond better to "u" than any other vowel.

5. Mr. T will "totally team up with me and go on wicked ass adventures in my new segway"

6. Jesus will furthermore be referred to as "That arab guy"

7. Canada will be referred to as "Hellfire City U.S.A"

8. New SMARTchip© technology will be installed with every post, enabling us to read your emotions, therefore improving our knowledge on the hilarity of our posts.

9. hellfire will personally use SMARTchip© technology to find those who didn't like his posts and "kick them in the go-nads"

10. Mexico will be called in future posts "North Americas Cock"



We hope that these changes will improve the already knee slappin' antics of Hellfire-ry, Wotism's only blog with "Hell" in the title! We're sure of it!

[Hellfire]

Step bro came THIIIISSSSS close to being arrested today. The moron pulled out a fake I.D with his friends, trying to buy cuban cigars. It had the picture of a 40 year old man with a Grizzly Adams haircut. And my step bro is 14.

So they called the cops on those little fucks

Serves em right. I really, really, REALLY dislike my step bro and I despise his friends. That'll wipe the smirk off his face.

[Hellfire]

So bloody sick... And I have no idea how I got this way. My head feels like it's been run over by a truck full of jackhammers. And my throat is so constricted I can barely speak. And now as I look at the temp - It's -25 celcius outside. But who am I to complain? It's friday! :dance: *koff*

[Hellfire]

http://img64.exs.cx/img64/4691/squidboy25hx.jpg

Sick today, so there's nothin much I can do but stuff like this.

[Hellfire]

http://img99.exs.cx/img99/3665/turtless21sm.jpg

I guess this one doesn't count as art since I didn't draw the t=Turtle. But then again, It's only a crap lousy Turtle

[Hellfire]

Here I was, on my trip to Manhattan, with a suitcase full of dreams, a hopeful look in my eye, and tickets to Monty Pythons new Musical "Spamalot". Written by Eric Idle and based on the Holy Grail, I thought to myself "How could this musical go wrong?" Hell, I even bought the ten dollar promotional spam they were hawking.

Hoo boy. I think you know what's coming

The story was completely ripped off from the movie, and Idle threw in other famous python skits (Finland, Always look on the Bright side of Life) for a cheap laugh. The whole show was all flash with no substance or heart. So much so that the jokes weren't even funny. It didn't even make sense half the time.

Which leads me to the conclusion the Eric Idles is an old hack

Greedy bastard tour? You bet your fucking ass. This guy is butchering something he himself helped create and turning it into meaningless shit. So for that, Fuck you Eric Idle. I hope you choke and die amongst your piles of dirty money.

[Hellfire]

I'm just fuckin' with ya bro. You da man, Eh? You know? You friggin genuis man! We cool? 'Aight. Don't do musicals anymore

PS : I do not like Eric Idle :blush: :1pirate:

[Hellfire]

Why don't people shower? Better yet, why don't they carry a bar of soap everywhere they go and rub themselves down every 20 minutes? I swear to god it's getting unbearable around here.

PEOPLE IN MY TOWN DON'T BATHE

Everyday, at 7:00 in the morning when I catch the city bus for school, I am engulfed by the hideous fumes of processed cheese and grease. After 40 minutes of sitting next to some fat dude with an awful beard, I finally arrive at school. Only to be greeted by the wretched stench of the high school populace. Seriously, kids smell horrible these days. Which brings me to my fantastic idea. Wait for it....wait....one sec.....ok!

THE CITY SHOULD ORGANIZE MASS SHOWERING EVENTS EVERYDAY

It'd be like a mandatory holiday every two days! People would line up before they head to work at shower designated areas and have massive group showers. We'd separate the boys from the girls (unfortunately) and get clean

Now people will say "But I like the privacy of my own shower". Which I will respond to by saying "Opps! Too bad! You blew it!". Because they abused their privilege to be clean in the past, they just have to live with the new order.
....
....
Or they can all just TAKE A GODDAMN SHOWER

[Hellfire]

WEEHEEHEE
All me family problems are worked out for now, so I'm back.

RECAP: hellfire has a fucked up family and that's pretty much all you need to know.

Anyways, other then my family, my life has been pretty swell as of late. I had to accompany my lil' sis to a Green Day concert last Wednesday, and I was pleasantly surprised since it wasn't that fucking bad. Most of the songs were alright and the crowd was ballistic.

Haven't seen any new movies in a while, but Star Wars comes out in 12 days so I'll be skippin'' school with my friends for that.

That's all you get

:1pirate:

[Hellfire]

I'm Fucking awsome at Pool. Seriously. Anytime, anyplace, I'll own your ass. I don't know how I do it, But I will never be defeated when it comes to pool.

Last night my step moms family had a party and everybody gathered round the pool table to throw down. I owned all of their asses with my magic trick shots and devilish charm. Fuck I'm awsome.

Seriously, I have never lost a game of pool in my life. If I was old enough to go to pubs they'd crown me king, and give me free shit due to my awsome pool skills.

So you can have your fun when it comes to basketball, hockey, and nancy boy sports like that. But once you step into the pool arena, you're in my domain, and I will slaughter you

:1pirate:

[Hellfire]

Exams are a month away and I'm already nervous. Fuck, Math is owning me. I just find it so friggin hard to focus in math. At least my physics class puts math to practical use and it's actually interesting. Math is just dull as hell.
But hey, Spanish rules, and Civics/Career Studies is a joke, so I guess the only exam I have to worry about is for Math. :cheers:

Downloaded System Of A Downs new album, and it's not as good as Toxicity (Which I anticipated. You can't follow up an album like that), but it's allright. Plus another SOAD album is comming out this fall, so no complaints.

Yup, Life is ok up here in the frozen north.

:1pirate:

[Hellfire]

Hellfire's Political Profile
Overall: 10% Conservative, 90% Liberal
Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Personal Responsibility: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal
Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal


No surprise at all. Can't stand conservatives. Cept I'll probably never vote liberal either :dozey:

Woke up at six this morning and did the usual rounds. Shower, breakfast and then out the door. Mom's heading down to Toronto tonight in search of a play writing gig, so when I get back tonight the house is all mine (and my two ravenous wolverines that I call sisters). Bus this morning was quiet, which is awesome so I got to sleep a little bit before my busses switched over. School was incredibly boring, but the end is nigh, so I just gotta hold on for one more month.

A couple days ago I got an invitation(from the friendly neighborhood rotary club) to go for two weeks to Japan in August, all expenses paid, and live with a family there where they'll tour me around the land of the rising sun. Usually I'd already have my bags packed and I'd be sleeping outside the airport sweating with anticipation by now, but I'm not sure I want to go. I'm already doing an extra credit course in summer school for the whole month of July, which means August would be the only time I would be able to hang out with mi compadres. Plus I could really use a job. Only two more years until I'm out of high school and I'll need some cold hard dough. So as of now I haven't made a decision. But I'll need to make one soon.

Tonight, I sleep. As it looks like I'll have no homework for the evening.

:1pirate:

[Hellfire]

Fuck. Homework. Physics too. ARRRRRRRRR.

Gonna go walk the dog and procrastinate as long as I possibly can.

:1pirate:

[Hellfire]

Hello all you beautiful people. It is I, hellfire, and I'm really fucking tired .

Some say that last minute studying actually decreases your chances at accessing your long term memory, thereby decreasing your chances for success when it comes to, oh, I don't know, Lets just say exams. I don't believe that.

In retrospect, believing that theory would have saved me a few more hours of sleep, a few less hours of nervousness and a helluva lot less caffeine currently coursing through my veins. In summery, Exams make me fucking angry, and I stand before you a broken man.

Got two more exams to go, but I'm only really worried about the Physics exam. Spanish I can pass with my eyes closed. And with those two exams out of the way, that brings my grade ten year to a close. And good fucking riddance too.

Party this weekend, and then It's up to the cottage with one 'o mi compadres, then another party after I get back. After that, who the fuck cares? It's summer time babycakes! And since this is my last work free summer I'll have in a long time, I'm gonna make the most of this wacky season.

Anyways, since I haven't updated this thing in almost a month, I thought I'd pop in and post. Cuz I'm cool like that.

:1pirate:

[Hellfire]

Summer school is almost over, which is good. I whined, I screamed, I locked myself in my room and cried into my pillow, thinking about how nobody understands my angst that burns within my soul, pausing in my thoughts for a few moments whilst I gazed upon that hot neighborhood boy next door, muscles rippling, as he mowed the lawn without a T-shirt to his name. God what I wouldn't want to do with HIM! He could have his way any...

Oh..Shit. I mean. WOOT. GRLZ R toTalY sEX. CYBR TIme. LOL. Phew.

Summer so far has been pretty sweet. While I did have summer school I managed to hang out with friends a lot more than I expected, so that kept me going. Tomorrow it's off the mall to get my step sister a gift as her birthday is this coming saturday. This wouldn't be to much of a problem if it wasn't for the fact I have no idea what a person gives to a bratty 19 year old. Hell! I don't even know how to shop for the plain ol' regular typey femmes. My REAL sister suggested bath products. But I think that if I gave her bath products and special soaps, that would come off REALLY creepy. And since I gotta live in the same house for a month, I might as well make it as pleasant a stay as possible.

Well, lets see. For my birthday she gave me a Mad Magazine subscription, A truly thoughtless gift since I haven't read a Mad Magazine in five years. Honestly though, I'm touched she even remembered my birthday, so maybe I should return the favor by giving her a subscription to "Seventeen" or "Teen Scream" or "Your Bra and YOU" magazine. It's the least I should do.

Well, gonna sleep now. Maybe I'll have the dream with the male underwear models again!

:1pirate:

[Hellfire]

Second Page BEEEEEEEeeeeeoooop
Third Page oooooOOOOEEEEEEEEEE

System Online
Good Morning, User
Please Enter Password/
*****
Password Denied. Please Enter Password/
*****!
Password Denied! Final Request : Please Enter Password/
Password

Password Correct. Good Morning Handsome.

That's more like it.

Three pages and I'm not board of it yet. A NEW RECORD. I should be proud, but honestly, I'd give this all up for a nice pudding cup right 'bout now.

After my step-harlots preppy birthday bonanza yesterday (Where I was forced under penalty of whoopings to help out the whole night), I was so tired I woke up at three in the afternoon. Now, it wasn't the work that kept me up. I actually finished before the party even began. It was in fact the goddamn noise they made when they came home from drinking that kept me up. They decided to take their drunken antics to the basement where my room is located and partied the whole goddamn night. I don't care whose birthday it is, I still think it's pretty shitty that they didn't take into consideration that some people wanted no part of their shindig and just wanted to sleep.

So after I woke up (Actually, Mi Padre had to wake me up), I come upstairs for something to eat and BIG SURPRISE, I learn that my step sister has a serious hangover and we all have to keep quiet. Now I know that alot of people like to get dead drunk on the birthday they become legal, but honestly, I don't know why. I really don't get why people become so excited with the thought of drinking so much that you wake up in the morning and feel like elephants were doing the foxtrot on your temple. I've gotten drunk before two years ago and since then I've never touched a single bit of alcohol and I plan to stick that way until I'm at least legal age, and even then I don't plan to drink that often. I mean, I don't need alcohol to stumble around and act like an idiot. At two in the morning my brain usually does it for me, and when I wake up, there's no headache (Unless I hit my head), just a feeling of refreshment.

This coming from me seems kind of unatural, since my blood-family on both sides are filled with raging alcohalics and drunks. I guess I'll just live longer. I dunno :D

[Hellfire]

Dandy 1 :I say old chum, What's all this titter tattering about then?
Dandy 2 :Why old man Witherton? Haven't you heard the news?
Dandy 1 :By my troth, I haven't. Perchance would you inform me of such current events?
Dandy 2 : Why, Summer School is over
Dandy 1 : Summer School is over?
Dandy 2 : YES! Summer School is over!

SUMMER SCHOOL IS OVER

Outcome : 95% in Math. Much better than my previous mark (Which you will never get out of me, though I didn't even come close to failing). Yeah, upgrading your mark in Summer School really REALLY sucks. Especially when you're the only one in the class getting 90's while the rest are pretty much flunking. I hated going to class because I knew these guys were gonna slack off and fail, and I think it’s such a waste. They’re throwing their futures away just because they won’t crack the goddamn books and try.

Never Again.

But hey, It’s over, and now I can feel guilt free for a month while I hang around with friends or do whatever the hell crosses my mind. Which apparently is pretty action packed, with loads of fun and excitement.

Got a lot of plans this week, but I’m never one to jump the gun, so I’m gonna hold of writing them all down until it’s all said and done. I’ll give you a hint on one of em though. It involves two tablespoons of sugar and a Yak.

[Hellfire]

Yo.

Next week is gonna be awesome. We're gonna all load up into the car (We being my mother, two sisters and myself) and drive for three days down to Florida for a vacation in Disney World. Now, I went last year with the same troops, but we liked it so much that we decided to go again (even though it's gonna cost us an arm and a leg. Literally, I'm typing with one hand). Needless to say, I'm exited.

The whole trip down really makes the whole vacation worthwhile to me. Traveling through different states in the U.S and just admiring the scenery rocks, and since my sisters are pretty damn awesome I have people to talk to, and I just can't get enough of eating shitty food and sleeping at shitty hotels. Driving for 13 hours a day (or more) doesn't sound like a party for most cats, but I wish my family did this every year.

So yeah, I'm just really pumped about the whole thing, and since I'm probably not gonna post here for a while (non trip related, mind you) I decided to post it now. Sweetness

[Hellfire]

I'm gonna be gone for a while and I don't know when I'm coming back to Wotism, so sit tight boys and girls. I'm out.

[Hellfire]

whooooooop!

[Hellfire]

ent and saw Brothers Grimm yesterday. All in all it was a damn fine picture. Terry Gilliam really shined as a director in this one. If you haven't seen it yet, haul your ass to a local moving picture plaza.

Just got a new job at Tim Hortons, Canada's coffee haus of love, and I am loving the income. Now I can pay back all the debts I owe to my chums/family members. Woke up at five this morning and slapped on my spiffy Tim Hortons uniform so I would make my first shift at seven. My mother (Who is a saint) was decent enough to drive me down.

Things are pretty slow on weekends, which is understandable (I would rather be at home on a saturday then at a coffee shop) So I basically was put through a crash course on everything that is Tim Hortons. I made bagels, sandwiches, Ice Caffs, A fuckload of coffee, cleaned, stocked, and other shit that comes with working at a food joint. After completely fucking up a couple of orders I think I've got the hang of working the till. Can you say raise?

Now, the best part about working in Tim Hortons are the regulars that come in. Honestly, It fucking hilarious. In they walk on their high horse thinking their tough shit, strolling casually up to the counter and asking for “the usual”. If I didn't find this hilarious I would probably find it rather sad. I mean, I would probably hang myself if the lexicon of my existence is being a regular at a coffee shop run by acne infested prepubescent teenagers. Whatever. Let em have their parade.

On top of this new job, School starts this tuesday and since It's my 11th year, I've got to sacrifice all my social time and study like a fucking mainiac. Grade 9 and 10 were fun, but these last two years are the ones that matter.

[Hellfire]

Work Update.

There are these three regulars who are in their 50's at least, ugly as sin and they sound like rednecks, who always come in and try to clumsily hit on my manager. I thought this was only a one time thing but they keep coming in and asking her out or asking if she wants a ride home with them. It’s so fucking hilarious that I can’t stop laughing when it happens. She’s like 20 years old and these dudes would almost be the same age as her grandfather.

If there is one thing this Tim Hortons job has taught me, it's to get a good job and a great life so that I won't become a sad pathetic old loser who picks up 20 year olds at a coffee shop run by teenagers. Un-fucking-believable

[Hellfire]

School is actually pretty fun this time around. I think my joy can be explained by my realisation that grade 9 and 10 work can be done by a fucking cow, and with the heavy workload in my university courses that come with my IB program, I'm actually struggling to keep up with the class and give a shit about my grade.

Yet somehow I still find time to post here, so I guess I don't have that much work. Then again, it's only the start of the year, and as I recall things tend to slope downwards from here on until christmas.

And that's all you're gonna here about school from now on. I get enough of it during the day.

ANNNNNNDDDDD

Onward to cool things. Like my plans for hallows-eve, the most kickass of all kickass holidays. Minus labour day (seriously, I don't know how I'd go on breathing without labour day). However, I'm getting a little ahead of myself, so I'ma gonna hold off until a couple of weeks.

Work is still allright. I thought I was gonna have to quit due to the intense hours mixed with my need to study, but my boss is really cool and he gave me new workable hours, so the money train keeps on rollin' all the way to unicorn palace station. God I love that place.

So that's about it... Yup. Nothin’ else happened....Nope...Nothin' at all...Nothin' especially happened on a certain September 11th at 8:00. Nope....Nothin' at all.

EXCEPT PEARL JAM BABY!!!! WOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTT

[Hellfire]

Man, days where you feel like nobody likes you one bit really suck. Now, I'm no emo shithead, so when I feel this way I get kinda angry with myself, but I've come to terms that this is just regular teenage bullshit and everybody lives through it when they're sixteen.

That doesn't change the fact that this still feels like crap though.

I mean, you walk into school, and you're hyper sensitive to all your surroundings. I mean even the slightest thing can upset you. I've had a helluva lot of shit happen to me outside of school yet that never brings me down, so why the hell do teens feel this way every once in a while? I mean my brain's practically yelling "are you out of your fucking mind??? Your life rules!!!" while something else is telling me I'll never amount to anything.

Whoever said highschool was the best time of your life was probably a twenty-five year old tenth grader. I mean it's not like HE had to worry about hormones.

[Hellfire]

Quit my job about a week ago. It's allright though, It's not like I'm looking for a career right now (Especially not in the coffee swilling industry, though it does have its perks...Like...uh....nothing. I've got nothing). School rocks despite the shitload of work I have to do, but that comes with the path I'm blazin'.

On friday, I went in to Toronto with a bud and my extended family to catch a Jays game at the Skydome (it's called the Rogers Center now, but that name's about as wussy as a redneck without a shotgun). I was totally expecting shitty seats and a nice game of baseball.

Not the case. Far from it.

First off, a Limo bus came to pick us up, stacked with all sorts of wonder and merriment. It had a stereo system, T.V, Food and drinks, and a motherfucking laser light show and fireworks graphics. It was the best one hour drive of my life. Then, when we arrived, I learned that our tickets were for the luxury boxes. We were treated like fucking royalty. Hell, we even had our own caterer. So for the whole night, my friend and I sat like kings and watched the Jays win over the Royals 10-1. (Yeah, the Jays and Royals both suck, but hey, Baseball's baseball).

My Dad always surprises me with how wealthy he is. Kinda makes me a little sick really.

But I will never forget that night. From here on in, all events I go to will be compared to that fateful Friday. Seriously, it was top notch.

[Hellfire]

So my mom's getting married next june, and with this marriage comes two new stepbrothers. Now since I'm not really compatible with my first step-bro (the preppie/racist/jock), needless to say I was a bit anxious in meeting these two new ones. However these cats are on the level. One is fifteen and one's thirteen. Both are funny as hell and are almost complete carbon copies of yours truly. Plus they both play a mean game of Halo, have three years experience on guitar and drums, and freakin’ love just about everything I love.

We spent the whole weekend getting to know one-another, so we basically watched movies like Hedwig, a GG allen bio-pic, Marx brothers films, the Little Mermaid, and many more. Also we strolled around downtown, kicked out the jams/Rocked out on guitar, and tons of other shit.

But damn it, I don't have a lick of homework done. At least I have lunch hour to catchup.

[Hellfire]

http://mikecontrol.blogspot.com/

My new blog. Check it out all you beautiful people.

[Hellfire]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000AXWGRC/qid=1133476217/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-4811489-1337768?n=507846&s=dvd&v=glance

Hell fucking YES.

Watched re-runs of it when I was a kid, and I freakin' loved this series. What a rockin' set.

By the way, if ya got the time, check out www.alienlovespredator.com. It's probably the funniest thing since that episode of Alf when he mixed the cat with the vaccum cleaner. Pure hilarity.

[Hellfire]

Exams are commin' up

come come commin' on up.

up up up...

Movin' on up! Movin on up, TO THE EAST SIDE! TO THE EAST SIDE

http://www.cinerhama.com/tvpage/seventies/jeffersons.jpg

Oh dear.

Yeah, exams totally blow, but I only have two this semester, so it's not so bad.

[Hellfire]

I just went twelve rounds with the dentist. I though I had em in the ninth, but then POW SOCK WHAM TKO, smacked the teeth outta me.

See venting thread for the dynamic details.

Another party is happening soon, which is good, as I like parties. Parties are fun. Super fun.

Gotta make a movie for independent film club, so right now I'm brainstorming for ideas. I know for sure it has to be filmed with a shitload of crane shots and entirely in black and white with scenes of red.

But what's my inspiration?

[Hellfire]

Both of my exams are on Tuesday. And they're both essays. Nuts.

Grades are pretty damn low this semester cuz I'm getting lazy. Better pick up the pace for semester two or it's Endsville for my average. Plus that would mean I'd have to get high 90's in grade 12 just so that my Uni application won't read like an Margaret Atwood novel.

I am extraordinarily afraid of working to my full potential, so I'm probably gonna end up as a grease monkey.

Cramming time is now. Well, guess I'll go to sleep first. Resting is best.

SO LONG FOLKS
http://www.wtv-zone.com/snowgirl98/geocities/images3/elephant.gif
THAT IS CAROL'S ELEPHANT

[Hellfire]

Exams are done. Commence laziness until June exams.

Right now I'm starting the Improv. Team for my school. The Canadian Improv games have been around for decades and wouldn't you know my school has a shitty arts program and thus, there has never been an Improv team.

Ever watch those commercials where those little brats are crooning "Everybody's good at something"? I think that's bullshit in the wide scheme of things, but it does apply to me. I'm very good at Improv. And yodeling. But I like Improv a lot more.

So I'm gonna be head of the team with another guy, which means that we're gonna be in charge of teaching, organizing, auditions, everything. Which is how I like it. Signup starts monday and the reception is pretty good, so maybe this thing won't turn out to be a total flop.

http://www.allright.fi/SE/images/AllRight_200x150.jpg

That's it I guess. Phone numbers are by the counter and you can help yourself to the fridge. Kids go to bed at 7:00 and they like a good story.

[Hellfire]

I noticed something.

During the last school year, I didn't post as often around here as I would have liked. Mostly because I was busy with...ya know....school. Then summer rolled around and suddenly WHAM. I'm slapped in the face with a crapload of freetime coupled with a small job.

But for the past two months, things have been kinda slow. That hasn't stopped me from posting here a lot. I think maybe this summer my post counts around 400. But still, activity 'round these parts have slowed to a crawl at times.

And now that the school year is beginning again in two days, I'm probably gonna sink back to my elusive self. Not too elusive, but I probably won't be frequent.

HOLY CRAP IT'S JON STEWART

http://www.geocities.com/jonstewart_satire/JonCollegeSoccer.jpg

[Hellfire]

Was too drunk on Friday. Said a lot of things. Sexy things. About men.

Liquor is one fickle mistress, but she's a lot of fun when she's not beating the shit out of you. Plus, no hangover. Bitchin'.

Still, the bud's better in a whole different way. Plus it doesn't destroy your liver. Just your lungs. Sorta.

http://www.mountaintimes.com/mtweekly/2005/0623/fozzie_bear.gif

WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA

[Hellfire]

Holy crap holy crap holy crap. I'm in grade twelve. I'm almost out of high school and on my own. Holy crap holy crap holy crap.

Damn damn damn where the hell did Playdoh go? And Nerf? I was never really into Nerf, and now I never will! Shit shit shit shit!

My god, pretty soon I'm gonna have to pay for my own housing! Damn it!

My kids aint gonna know how awesome life is for them until they're too old to appreciate it.

http://files.myopera.com/hungryghost/albums/308/OH%20No.JPG
OH NO!

[Hellfire]

Yeah I'm busy.

BUT...

Yeah, I'm busy. And when I'm not busy I'm adventuring. These last few months I've explored more of my town than I have in my entire life, and it's given me a whole new perspective. Seriously, if people get out of their suburbs and McDonalds and HDTV's and started exploring their own backyard, people would never feel enclosed and would never develop a sincere hatred for their birth town.

The sheer beauty I've seen walking down the railroad tracks, spying the manufactured landscapes through unbiased eyes, reaching the end of the line and walking even further into the woods, all the while chatting with some oldboys of Cameron has been humbling and it's given me clarity beyond that which I could have achieved reading Kerouac or Ginsberg. I've probably lived more these past months than I have my entire adolescent life, which is saying something.

But now I'm rambling.

I guess I'm just trying to say that you need to ignore maps, and ignore those assholes that spout "the frontier is gone". Brother, the frontier is right outside your door, and if you don't chart it yourself then you're gonna miss out one hell of a ride.

I also feel I should give a heartfelt "Thank You" to reefer, mescaline, coffee, alcohol, and shrooms. Trust me, doing this while your young is probably the best decision you can ever make(but for GODS SAKE don't overdo it. Space yourself out a bit man, it aint a race). Plus it makes the journey a whole lot more magical.

http://www.lakemirabel.com/Railroad/PBridgeAfterFire/BridgeWestGone11.jpg

[Hellfire]

http://www.als.ca/events/images/upload/MatthewWiesenfeld/Hike4ALS/MWW%20Logo.jpg

I am Mark's bitch.

Jobs are honestly not worth the trouble. I highly recommend that those who are thinking of getting one should consider a life of petty theft and conning. It's probably a whole lot more interesting.

[Hellfire]

Uh, I'm no longer Mark's bitch

Turns out they are way overstaffed, and since I was hired on a seasonal basis, you do the math

I guess I jinxed myself when I said that jobs weren't worth the trouble, huh?

This would be a lot worse If I wasn't still in school.

Ah well. The cash flow ends and the study time increases. I prefer cash flow, personally. I'll search for another job after my exams this month, because I should really study for those. The past three years I've managed to do phenomenally without studying, but this year I wanna guarantee a phenomenal show. University and all that, ya know?

[Hellfire]

Hey

It's been a while, so let's catch up just a little bit

- I'm a man now (finally)
- I'm a little over half a year from university. Montreal is going to be killer.
- I've started performing spoken word off and on. Also, I've been writing like I have a fucking disease.
- I've stopped talking to my mother entirely
- I suddenly, overnight, became the most popular fucker in highschool as soon as I stopped giving a shit trying to impress people (THAT'S what you idiots wanted??? Me to be real? Good lord, okay, but you asked for it)
- I've become one of the leading suppliers in my region without selling or buying a single bag. I've also managed to smoke for free for almost two years now
- I've stopped drinking alcohol
- Ok. That's a lie. But I've got it under control.
- I have experienced The Fear. As such, I'm not really afraid of death anymore. As long as it isn't like The Fear
- I've fallen in love, been fucked around with constantly, made up then broke up, then heard her do the horizontal shuffle with an old acquaintance of mine right outside where I was crashing that same night. On commencement. Wasn't hurt, but she was deff. trying to hurt me. Good experience: Never fall in love just because you're lusting after a girl really REALLY badly.
- I've drove across the province.
- I've crisscrossed this great land visiting homies in far away universities.
- I've gotten drunk on the rooftop of McGill university's English building, and cursed humanity while swigging La Fin Du Monde (I don't know why I was cursing humanity. I kinda like it. Well, I was drunk. Allright)
- I've been handcuffed, and had my car searched for Heroin (It was ridiculous. I wasn't even drunk, high, or even tweaked off caffeine. In fact, I didn't have a single thing on me. Nor did my compadrés. The cops just heard a noise complaint in the suburbs and sent the night team. It was hysterical)
- I've found treasure (Absolut. Unopened. I never felt more like a pirate that day)

There's a shitload more, but I forget. I have it all written down somewhere, but there you go. Now we're a little bit caught up.