"I've got rambling on my mind...."

[Enariom]

Gotta love that Robert Johnson!

Soooo...: Here's my reflection-thread.
Had to post here! I couldn't resist having a thread all to myself :p

Facts about me: My RL name is Kristine. *waves* Hi


I live in an appartment in Bergen (the second largest city in Norway) with my boyfriend and our cat; Chepe Nolon. I study anthropology at the University of Bergen, and I love it! I wanna specialize on ethnic-studies (especially the natives of North-America and northern Norway). The native people of Norway are called Sami. I'm part Sami myself, and that's why I'm particulary interested in studying that culture :)

When I'm not at the uni, I work my ass of at a kiosk downtown, making hot dogs for drunk people, and picking fights with junkies trying to steal things from our shop :rolleyes: I'll probably post a few crazy posts about my shifts at that place.... Bah! I don't belive how rude customers can be!!! Didn't they learn proper behaviour at home??? I would like to talk to the mothers of some of the people I've had as customers in that place....

Thank God for my guitar! I wouldn't have coped without him! (yeah... I call my guitar "him"....) When I'm down, when I'm happy, when I'm a bit sad, when I feel sorry/happy for someone, my guitar is always there for me :cheers: "Play it away! That always work for me!" That was what my mother used to tell me when I was still living at home (I moved out when I was 16) I still follow her advice, and I'm so glad I've had a mother who's a musicians and who decided to pass it on to me... Thanks mom!

My life isn't really sunshine these days... I work way too much, but I can't cut down on it, cause that would put my boss in quite a jam, and he's too nice a guy for me to allow that to happen :dozey:

Damn that sense of duty.... :(

Only five more days to my vacation though! I leave for Taekwon-Do camp in Surnadal (little town in mid-Norway) on Saturday, and I'll be gone for a week. I'm looking forward to get out of this town! And I'm looking forward to practise Taekwon-Do seven hours a day for a whole week :D
It'll be awsome!!! Haven't got the chance to work out as much as I wanted to the last year... Studys taking too much of my time... Oh well; that'll change soon! :D

I'm gonna kick sooooo much ass when summer's over :whip:

This is me: (pic taken with a crappy web-cam)

[Enariom]

It's now 03:31, and I just got home from work. (Nighshift again! My boss must really hate me!) :(
I've got a nasty burn on my hand. A drunk guy came in 5 minutes before closing-time, and he managed to spill boiling hot coffy on my hand! Aaaaahhhhhrrrgggg! :mad: I get so goddamned mad at those crappy customers!!! He was so drunk he didn't even realize he'd hurt me, so I couldn't kick his ass! I just pointed politly to the door and said: "See that thing over there? That's a door. In ten seconds you're going through it or I'll personaly throw you through it myself!"
I wish I never had to work again.... :dozey:
Oh well! Only two more days of working now, and then I'll start my VACATION! Woohooooo! :D
Only bad thing is that I'll be off-line for a week...

When I was walking home tonight (a one and a half hour walk btw) I started reflecting on loneliness and depression... I've been sort of down the whole summer, but on my way home tonight i suddenly got this happy feeling creeping in on me. A danish artist called Tim Christensen says in one of his songs: "Loneliness is just a state of mind". I'm starting to think that he's right. I think I need to meditate more often. My Sabonim (taekwon-do trainer) tells me how important that is, but I'm afraid I haven't really taken the time to do it properly the last few months. If I could just balance my mind, I think I could produce any mood at any time... It's just a matter of will and self-controll... I mustn't let exterior factors get the best of me! (If I do that I'm totally screwed... :rolleyes: )

Got a call from my mother this week. She's living with a guy that has a habit of drinking to much... (he's hit her one time, and in my opinion that's one time to many!) Last I heard; she had left him, but now she tells me he's stopped drinking and that they've decided to give it another go. Man; I get so frustrated with that woman! She never learns! He'll drink again; of that I'm certain. And she'll get depressed, and she'll call me, and then I'll get depressed, cause I'm a two days drive away and I can't really do anything for her. She went through the same thing with my half-brothers father, and something of the same with my father, but she just won't learn!
I'm posting this here, cause I asume no one ever reads this, and if they do it doesn't really matter cause nobody in here have ever met me anyway ...
I know it sounds cold-hearted, to say that I'm frustrated with her, but if you knew how I've tried to be there for her, and how useless that has turned out to be, you'd understand perfectly...
Parents.... Can't live with them and can't live without them... Literally :dozey:

Wrote another song today :) I'm really on a roll here! I've made four songs in two days! :D (Well; strictly speaking, I'm only really finished with one, but the other three are almost done) I'm starting to get hard skin on my finger-tips again! I hate when the soften up on me... It takes so long to get them in playing-shape again.

That's it for now! I have to get some sleep (even though I'm not tired) Have to get up in five hours. Pay my bills, get my allergy-pills at the doctor's office, and then work again... My life sucks... Or it would suck, if I didn't have my guitar and the greatest boyfriend in the world!

This has been another pathetic rambling by Enariom :type:

[Enariom]

Yet another day at work, done!!! Only one more day to go!!! :cheers:
If I can find the money for it; I'm gonna get sooo pissed tomorrow :D :D :D

I got positive feedback from my boss today :) That's kinda nice, cause I had a nightmare about work last night... I dreamt that my boss got mad at me for not doing my job, then he fired me, and I had to beg on the streets for food-money :eek:

The mind plays curious tricks on us, huh? :dozey:

I'm off now! My bf will be here in a few minutes and I haven't seen him for a week! (even though we're supposedly living together :rolleyes: )

[Enariom]

I'm leaving for Surnadal in five hours!
Doing an all-nighter, cause my plane leaves real early. Kinda wired up on no sleep and coffey right now :D I'll miss wotism :love:

[Enariom]

Well; I'm back! It's been a wonderful week! I'm abit exhausted but it was worth it! :D
I got myself a new degree; 1 gup -1 (red belt with two black stripes). The exam was a terrible experience! It was 40 celcius incide the gym, and I was soaking wet with sweat after five minutes. (The test went on for about an hour)

Fo those of you interested: I did three patterns: Toi Gye, Wha Rang and Shoong Moo. A lot of kicking! Then self defense. Then I broke boards with sonkal yup taerigi (side-strike with a knife-hand) and with back-kick. And at the end I had to fight with an enourmos guy! He must have been 210 cm! I'm not kidding! I did ok though. He went easy on me :p

One guy fainted during the test, and another one had to drink water during the oral examination... That may not sound as bad if you're not familiar with the tkd-system, but it's bad, belive me... You do not drink water in front of a 5. dan (black belt of the fifth degree) during a belt-graduation!! :2eyes:

It's great to be back; especially to have access to the net again :type: I was getting kinda desperate and delerious at the end of last week :p
I guess I needed a little brake from my computer :dozey:

Now I have one week of lazy summerdays before the fall-semester starts at my uni. I'm actally looking forward to getting on with my studies :)

That's it for now. I'm going outside to catch the last hour of the evening sun :cool:

[Enariom]

....bored....

I'm to wired up to sleep... :toussel: Have been working out every day the last week, and now that I've suddenly stopped; I feel like I'm gonna explode! :tard: All I do is sleep, doze in the sun and (if I remember to) eat food. Me and my bf is at his parents house. They are farmers and live in the middle of nowhere. I'm broke, I don't have a car, and the nearest store is a 45 minutes walk away :dozey:
Also; it seems that no one is logged on at the same time as me :cry:
So now I'm just sitting here... It's 2:41 in the middle of the night, and I'm listening to Muse "Unintended". Maybe I should go for a run...? Or maybe not.

My bf is sleeping in the bed three feet away from me :) He's sooo cute when he's sleeping :love: Poor guy has to get up at seven tomorrow to milk the cows. Yeah I know: milk the cows....? :2eyes: I'm not ready to become a farm-wife yet :p I miss the city. The cafès, the people, the PUBS, the fact that you barely have to walk one feet to get a Coke!
On the other hand: it's quite relaxing to be in the countryside. I think maybe I need it. Need to gear down, and take the time to be bored. God knows, that doesn't happen often.... :rolleyes: I just wish I'd thought to bring my guitar!

[Enariom]

Well; she's done it again. My mom I mean... She's left that guy. Again! "This time it's final!" Yeah, sure mom... God! She's such a clichè :(

Of course she called me. Like she's done a hundred times before! I try to care, but it's getting harder and harder each time this happens.

I think the only thing I can do, is to try and learn from her mistakes. I do not want to end up like my mother!

I'm outta here... :dozey:

[Enariom]

First week back at the uni is over :) This semester is gonna be sooo great; I can feel it! :D

I'm kinda sad right now though :( My bf is back in the army, training with the Nato guys.

Why do he feel he has to save the world? Why can't someone else do it???

Yeah yeah, I know: someone has to do it :p Anyway; he's leaving for Germany on Wednesday, and he's not even allowed to tell me where they're going.

It's bad enough he's leaving the country, but he's not even allowed to tell me where he's gonna be, or what he's gonna do! :mad:

That's it from me for now. Have to get some sleep, cause I have my first class tomorrow in 6 hours.... :type:

I feel like Jason Bourne's wife :p Or maybe not :dozey:

Oh well; he'll be back soon enough. I might as well enjoy my self-time while I can;)

It'll give me more time to my studies, the taekwon-do, the guitar, my friends, work, writing..... Wow; when I think about it; I'm kind of a buissy person :D

[Enariom]

Wow :2eyes: I haven't been here in a while, I see... *whipes dust off thread*

I'm beat.... I have two exams coming up next week. One on Tuesday and one on Friday. AND I'm working Saturday and Sunday next week :grumbles:

I spent eight hours studying on Monday, eleven hours on Tuesday, and eight hours on Wednesday! My brain feel like a peanut!

Without the salt! :dozey:

I should be feeling real smart, considering all the reading I've been doing, but I feel that the more I study the smaller my brain gets...

Weird... :confused:

Now I just wanna go t bed, cause I'm dead tired, but I have to wait till my laundry's done... I have NO clean clothes left!

I'm actually wearing "emergency-clothing" right now. All of you fellow students out there will probably know what I'm talking about :p

Emergency-clothes = the clothes in the dark voids of your closet, that's been hiding in there for years without beeing exposed to daylight.

Used when you've been wearing everything twice, and you don't have time to do the laundry.

I'm a slob :tard:

[Enariom]

My two first exams this semester are finally done and over with! It's been a hell of a week, and I'm glad it's over.

Tomorrow my bf is taking me to see Alien vs. Predator :p I know I know; it's probably a crappy movie, but it's one of those films you feel compelled to see anyway :D

Nothing much going on in my life right now... I'm supposed to go to staff-meating next week, but I don't want to :( My boss is just going to yell at us... I know it! It pisses me off when he does that! I work my ass of at that place, and I get NOTHING back! The pay sucks, the hours suck, and the place sucks :mad:
I should just quit, but it's damned hard to get work in Bergen at the moment. Sadly; I need my beer money :p :cheers:

Now I'm off to bed. Just finished the nightshift and I'm beat :dozey:

[Enariom]

The exams went well :D Got a B on the first one and an A on the last one! Only two more to go this semester...

Predator vs. Alian was.... well.... It didn't totally suck :p It was kinda funny. Now I've seen a Predator grab an Alien by the tail and swing him around. What more can a girl wish for? :dozey:

As I've made sure to let everyone know on several occations: I'm sick! It sucks! I'm so damned bored, but I don't have strenght to do anything but watch TV, read books, and go online. I've missed out on the last 4 tkd-trainings, and I feel like a dump of jellow :grumbles: I wanna go OUTSIDE!

This is how bored I was the other day:

[Enariom]

Long time no post....

Because of some fuck-up from our internet supplier we won't have internet-connection the following month(s)... We'll get off-line tomorrow or friday, and it'll take 3-6 weeks before we're up and running again. :mad:

Soooo; no wotism for En for a loooong time :(

I'll try to pop by from time to time, using internet-cafès and such, but I won't be able to check in as much as I'd like.
I'll miss you guys! *waves*

And Ten: Damn! I hoped we'd be able to catch up before this happened! Maybe I'll catch you on msn before we get disconnected. *huggles*

[Enariom]

I'm back... Feeling minimalistic, and right now: kinda depressed :(
My beautiful little cat, my companion, my "lillebror" ("little brother") died yesterday....
We had to put him down, he was in so much pain. He got sick in December, and I honestly don't think he had more then two spoonfulls of food the last month of his life. It's one thing to experience the death of a dear animal-friend, but to watch that poor guy struggle for so long.... :cry: I'm just glad he's not in pain anymore!
He was a small cat, but he had a huge personality, and I'll miss him for the rest of my life.

Damn.... Why do I always fall in love with those little buggers???

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep.

[Enariom]

When I was 16, I had this best-mate. He and i were... Well, we shared some fucked up experiences, and he really helped get through a bad time.

After a while, it turned out that he was getting more and more into drugs. He really didn't have much of a chance. His uncle was the one that introduced him to the stuff.

Anyways; drugs weren't really my kind of thing. And as so often happens with childhood-friends, we started drifting apart. He had his thing, and I had mine. I actually tried contacting him several times, to tell him to lay off that stuff, and start hang with us again, but he just wouldn't listen. I think he was embaressed about the whole drug-abuse thing, to tell you the truth.

About three years ago, he hooked up with this girl and got her pregnant. He became the father of a little girl.

Still heavy on the drugs, he got into all kinds of trouble. He went to jail for a while, almost OD'ed. But he kind of hung in there.

Then things looked to brighten up. He seemed to be getting his life back on line. Asked my (present) best mate to be godfather for his baby-girl.
We thought he was cleaning himself up. Starting a new life, y'know?
I was still kinda hurt that he had rejected us earlier, but hey! The guy was getting his life on track again. Nothing could be better. We might not be as good friends as before, but I was really really happy for him.



He died two days ago.



Mate: I'll always remember you. Not as the drug-addict you ended up as, but as a good and kind friend. You saved my life once. I'm just so fucking sorry I couldn't do the same for you! I'll go to your funeral this week. It won't be easy, but I have to. I'll give your little girl a list of phone-numbers. Her mom anyway. Then when she grows up and want's to know about her father, she can give us a call. I'll tell her about you, and about how a good friend you were to me.

I miss you! I loved you! I'm sorry the whole fucking world let you down!

This one goes out to Svein. Remember his name. Remember his story and take care of the people you love. If not, you'll spend the rest of your lives regretting it.