Vashna's writing

[Vashna]

For those people who have not read any of these stories, or not all of them for whatever reason, I do reccomend that you at least read the last few. They are getting better as they go on, and there isn't that many to read.

This thread is now home to my weekly/periodically added stories and other writing I choose to post here.

Every story on here is my own creation, the ideas and characters are my own. Please do not use them for your own work/stories/whatever.

Glossary

al' - signifys more than one of the following noun, can also mean the
al'Blatha - short version of al'Blatha'mol-Nires the blades of Nires
al'Carath - short version of al'Carath-Seta-Blatha
al'Carath-(mol')Seta-Blatha - the Tower of a Thousand Blades, can be said with or without the mol'
al'Koret – The Chosen, short for al’Koret-Blatha’mol-Nires (the chosen blades of Nires)
al'Lek'do-Tesa - The Gods First Haven, the Capital city of Nireslott
al’Yurtani - The Palace, refers to the home of the Royal Caste in Nireslott
Blatha - blade, also refers to a member of the group known as the Blades (al'Blatha)
Carath - Tower
compound - the walled complex the al'Blatha are restricted to
do' - means first, usually as a position
do'Koret – First Chosen
do’Koret-Blatha – First chosen blade
do'Majat - First Prince
do'Ram – First Priest
Halek - Queen, female supreme leader
hom' - True
hom'Holek - True King/Supreme male Ruler
hom'Lek – True god, refers to Nires
Koret - Chosen, short version of Koret-Blatha
Lek - god, there is more than one god in Nireslott
'mol/mol' - of, used in titles and some other cases
Nires - the hom'Lek or true god, that is higher than all others and the name can only be said by the al'Blatha, the priesthood or the Royal Caste
Nireslott – The nation in the story, what are you blind?
Ram - priest
Seta - one thousand

(Disclaimer all stories in this thread are the property of Robert Bisson, and are copyright 2004 through 2007

[Vashna]

Dark Birth

Periam watched as the others swarmed over the hall, setting up her ‘Celebration of Ascension’. It was all a farce and she knew it. To them she was dead already, a martyr for a god who had let them suffer and die for centuries. Contempt was all she felt now, they were a bunch of mindless zealots unable to see the prison they lived in. They celebrated when one of their own was to die, and they always knew because none ever lived beyond their twenty-first birthday.

Tonight it was to be her turn to drink from the Chalice of Nires, her turn to die. But as Periam looked over the people she had once viewed as friends, she felt a sense of satisfaction that she would be more than them by morning. The truth of the celebration had come to her, in the guise of an assassin. Two weeks before as another ascension took place, Periam had left, consoling herself in the night, away from the encouraging stares and well wishers that knew her time was coming.

On a balcony overlooking the compound she had stood, letting the darkness absorb her, becoming one with the night, away from the reality of her end. It was chance really, a simple coincidence that allowed her to see him sliding along in the dark. Something had grabbed at her, urging her to follow as the man swept along like a shadow. Quietly she followed, wincing as her shoes clattered on the pavement and the man paused and turned. How he did not she her Periam did not know, but she could feel some power surge in her blood as his eyes swept across her frightened form.

With a shake of his head the man moved on, leaving Periam in stunned silence, that was until she came to her senses and rushed after him. She rounded a corner just in time to see him open the door to the temple, now empty as the priests oversaw the ascension preparations. Crouching she moved to a window locating a clear pane in the stained glass before pressing her eye to it.

Inside the man surveyed the room searching for hidden eyes, seeing none he went to the altar where the Chalice of Nires sat waiting for the priests to collect it at midnight. As she watched the man produced a vial, upturning it above the chalice before stirring the contents with a finger. With her eyes locked upon the chalice Periam did not see him leave and when she finally stood it was on unsteady footing.

She made her way back to her room thinking a million thoughts. The next thing she remembered was waking up to sunlight and the realisation that it was too late to say anything. A week of turmoil followed where part of her wanted to speak out and another darker part wanted to use it to gain power. Periam’s dark side won out.

When the assassin returned to the temple he found more than just a chalice waiting. In the remaining week Periam had turned all her efforts towards one thing, learning to kill with her newfound power, and so she did with little thought to the consequences. As the man’s body hit the ground a slight smile touched her lips but not her eyes, she had found her calling. She disposed of the body in the single river running through the compound her kind were restricted to, for the moment. The smile stayed on her lips even when she thought of what she must do to ensure the next ascension took place and that the power she would gain by surviving would be hers alone.

[Night_Daughter]

That sounds really good, are you going to continue it?

[Vashna]

That sounds really good, are you going to continue it?

At the moment it is a prequel to my novels, ironic that I'm writing prequels before finishing them. So I might consider writing some more of the prequel story, this time properly if people want me too.

All I seem to be doing is writing prequels or execerpts from my novels in other forms, I have a script for a 10 min drama as well if anyone wants to see that then here is a link to where it is on my webspace. A word of warning, as with the above this script was written for uni, I do not recognise it as a good piece of work. oh and It runs for something like 10 pages so have some spare time before you start.

We had to avoid camera direction, shot description etc so the writing is kinda bland. With shots and decent description the script would have run for 30 pages.

The Script
Within Silence (http://users.tpg.com.au/adsl3irf/pages/writing/withinsilence.htm)

PS who gave me rep and didn't leave their name? I do give return rep you know

[Vashna]

Due to ND's question I have decided to write a little more on the story begun above.

It is not a direct follow on from the story but it is set in the same place and it does provide more background on the previous story.

I wrote this in about three hours tops, while chatting and doing other things so it may not be the best story ever, I have not even reread it yet.

I would appreaciate any and all feedback you might have, especially from the female wotists as it is yet again written with a female main character.

Oh and if you actually do like the story or are interested in reading more please post and I may just write new stories each week.

[Vashna]

Peace (got a better idea for the title feel free to post it)

Daylight poured through her window as Komindia rose to face the new day. She rose from the bed slowly not disturbing the man that lay there. Yesterday had been her birthday, she had turned 15 and earned the right to try for a child. Not for the first time she looked over at the man, wishing that he had a name that she could tell her child, but al’Blatha men were not allowed names. Neither could they read or write, the god Nires had not deemed them worthy enough to be taught.

Brushing her dark hair in the mirror Komindia watched his reflection, thinking about the child that might be growing inside her, praying that she was a girl and would be chosen as al’Koret. Standing there Komindia decided that if she was then she would be called Katrian, after her grandmother. It would be a shame to see her line die off without ever having another Katrian. And if she was not al’Koret, that was a possibility Komindia refused to contemplate, knowing on the day your child was born what day they would die could not be a pleasant experience.

A moan from behind her brought her back into reality, he was rising, still unclothed from the night before. Turning her back to him she looked out the window, staring blankly at the great wall that surrounded the community. Beyond the wall she could just see the beginnings of al’Carath-Seta-Blatha, the Tower of a Thousand Blades. When it was completed it would stand two thousand feet high and would have a thousand individual spires. Komindia could still remember the palace that had stood there before, not because of its beauty, it had been a hideous mound of stone, all the towers lumped together and reaching only two hundred feet.

She could still remember the day, more than a decade gone now, that Nires had sent down fire and lightning to burn it to the ground and destroy the royal caste. Now it was the future home of the al’Koret and their saviour and queen, al’Halek’mol-Blatha. The door opened behind her then shut again, she had been so caught up in the sight of the dark blue marble tower that the man had dressed and left. Glancing out the window she saw that the sun was already well above the horizon and that she was going to be late. She quickly grabbed a dress from the wardrobe, knowing that it would be the same dark blue wool as all the others.

By the time she arrived for morning prayers the temple had already begun to fill, hurrying past the acolytes at the door she saw them exchange knowing smiles. When she was finally seated her face had turned the colour of the priests robes, that being a deep red. Everyone knew that it had been her birthday yesterday and in al’Blatha society that meant that they knew what her present had been. Gossip alone would have spread the details, but when a Blatha requests the chance to try for a child the priests announce it during the celebration, then comes the choosing ceremony.

It had been the strangest moment of her life, walking in front of the men they had arranged for her. She had looked at each one, measuring their suitability, looking for eye colour, healthy builds and basically any features she wanted her child to have. In the end the one she had chosen was not the tallest, nor the best looking. Komindia had chosen because she had met him before, albeit briefly when she had fallen and broken her arm. He had been kind to her, gathering her up in his arms and carrying her back to her mother, despite the fact that he would be punished for leaving his work.

Last night he had been kind too, although he had given no sign of remembering her. He had spoken only briefly, and merely to ask her if it was really what she had wanted. Nothing more had passed between the two of them but as she sat there in the temple she wondered if she should ask him for a name, to make one up for himself if he had not already. Something to pass down to her daughter so that she would see him as more than just one of the ‘cattle’ as the women called them. Soon she went on to wondering if he would still be alive to see her child born, he was older than her, exactly how old she did not know but he must be nearing twenty one.

More than one of her fellows noticed her daydreaming during the service, and as soon as they left the gossip started, talking was forbidden in the temple but that just encouraged them to speak more once it was over. Constant questioning by the others left her wishing for noon to come so she could be left alone. At noon the others went to their classes, to train and study, Komindia took advantage of the freeday she had been granted and sought solitude in the shade of the trees lining the river. She curled up against one of the trees, eyes closed, dangling her bare feet into the rushing water, being soothed by the sounds of birds singing overhead.

Peace, that was what the river was, the one true source of pleasure in the entire compound. Would it be like this at the al’Blatha’s new home she wondered, the one being built around al’Carath. Would she even live to see it? An hour went by as she sat there enjoying the caress of the water, satisfied in the moment.

When she finally opened her eyes it was like waking into a dream. Within arms reach he sat watching her as she relaxed, a smile resting on his face. When she opened his eyes he started to rise, head held low, shame showing in his eyes. Komindia felt something surge in her and he froze suddenly, halfway between sitting and standing. Looking up at her his eyes widened in shock, and for a moment their faces reflected each others perfectly. Just as suddenly as he had stopped he fell back to the ground without warning, Komindia slumping against the tree at the same time.

In seconds he was over her, holding her steady, cradling her head in his arms. “Are you alright Komindia?” he asked, not the least concerned over what had just happened to him.

“You, you know my name?” she asked, surprise evident in her voice and her eyes.

He sprung back as if she were aflame and she had to hold up her hand to stop him from apologising. “I don’t care that you addressed me by my name, it doesn’t matter to me.”

“It is forbidden though, we must not use names ever.” he replied, “I am forever in your debt Blatha.”
Seeing a chance Komindia stood, watching him sink to his knees as she did. “If you are in my debt then give me your name so the debt may be remedied.” she commanded as sternly as she could manage.

It brought his eyes up to hers, but only for a second before they found the ground once more. “I have no name, you know that.” he replied, anxiety seeping into his voice.

“Then choose one, after all a child must know their fathers name.” Komindia said more soothingly as she moved in closer and made him rise.

For a long moment they just stared at each other, watching as they each struggled with their choices. Eventually when Komindia had just about given up he spoke, “I was given no name that I know of, but long ago I chose one in secret. You must agree to tell no one this, save the child.”

Komindia’s heart was pounding and all she could do was nod as he devastated about a hundred customs with two sentences.

“I am only telling you this for the child. My name is Hiran.” as he said those words he stepped back away from her, “Now the debt is balanced, and I must go.”

“Hiran.” Komindia said, trying out the word as he turned to go, “Well I suppose that your name is a beginning at least but you will have to do better than that.”

He kept moving not away from her, avoiding the implications of her words. “I could stop you again but I would prefer it if you stayed out of choice.” she said stopping him in his tracks.

With little more than a sigh he came back to her and joined her against the tree, watching her as she returned her feet to the river, watching as she closed her eyes, watching her at peace.


RB

[Vashna]

I have decided to continue posting stories in this series, due to the limited response I have recived.

Heres the catch though, I don't know whether to continue on with the second one(Komindia), go back to the first (Periam) or to continue writing random stories. I will write another story by next week if someone helps me decide.

After that it will be an at least weekly feature if I have time, given that the above 2 were both written in 3 hours it is possible that it will be 2 per week, until I run out of ideas, in which case I will post some of a new draft of the start of my book or I will take requests.

PS more feedback please. Even if it is criticism, I have not shown much work and I want to become a better writer.

Oh and the names of female characters are generally rearanged from the names of girls I actually know/have known. have fun trying to figure them out :)

[Night_Daughter]

Finish one of the above stories before you start another one. Just continue with wich ever story pops into your mind first. I write but I haven't had time to put anything down. Maybe I will this summer.

[Vashna]

Okay thank you to the people who posted or sent PM's to me.

The next story will be called New Day and will continue Periams tale.

It should be up by the end of the weekend or sooner, but heres a little preview

Well I promised it by the end of the weekend and here it is, at 10:50 Saturday night (local time).

Yet again I have not read this back myself, and I would appreciate comments/criticisms on it, if you read it please post here I want to know.

This one is slightly longer again, I am slowly getting back to my normal style, rather than my short story format, so the stories will probably keep getting longer as they go on.

From this point forward I will be posting a new story sometime each week, possibly 2 for the next few as I have no Uni to occupy my time, they may either continue the stories I have already posted or introduce new characters.

PS I will provide a glossary of terms and the language when I have time look to the top.

[Vashna]

New Day

Darkness lay all around, the bleak shadow of night enveloping the room. Within this darkness Periam sat, back against the wall, watching the door with eyes that shone through the black, unblinking. She had been like that for hours now, watching waiting, not daring to sleep for the fear that all her plans would come undone. So she sat, huddled back into the shadows, waiting for dawn to come.

Light broke over the compound wall and through her window with its usual suddenness, her vision blurring as her eyes readjusted. A smile broke across Periam’s haggard face, last nights exertions had taken their toll on her. Rising she prepared for the day, the day she was recognised as more than just another Blatha. Perhaps she would call herself Koret, chosen from now on. The smile widened at that thought.

“al’Koret-Blatha” Periam said to her face in the mirror, “The chosen blades.”

Half way through a down stroke on her raven black hair, she paused, contemplating what she had said. Until now she had not consciously thought of sharing her power with anyone, but the reality of having to dispose of her own people for the rest of her life pierced deeply into her. Plans were beginning to form in her head and within minutes she knew what she would do. Something about her newfound abilities and attitudes had awoken something in her she had not felt before, kinship with her people, it was not so strong that she would abandon everything though.

She stared for a long while at the woman in the mirror, looking over the pale skin, the deep green eyes and the piercing gaze they held. Looking there she imagined herself in something other than the dark blue wool she was forced to wear. Regal, that was the best word she could find to describe what she imagined. Breathing deeply to calm her nerves she walked to the door, her hand poised to open both the door and her future. It was quiet outside, the same it was every morning in this place, why feel joy when you were going to be reminded that you would die before your time. Her future beckoning, Periam made her way through empty streets towards the temple, knowing that every person in the compound would already be there.

They called it a temple, but it was more like a palace, if gods did reside in the temples of their worshippers then Nires truly was the hom’Lek, the True God. The compounds temple was the second largest in all of Nireslott the stained glass panels alone were fifty feet tall and inlaid with gold and silver, shining in the sunlight like beacons. The finest marble available in Nireslott had been used in its construction, the deep blue that was only used for building monuments to Nires. During the day it towered over everything, light reflecting off its polished surfaces until the surrounding area was bathed in a blue glow. During the night it was lit from the inside, casting the huge frescoes in the windows onto the surroundings and even held awe for Periam, no longer a practitioner of the god.

[Vashna]

She made her way to the great doors, twenty feet high and made of solid brass inlaid with a fortune of precious metal and stones. Looking at them made Periam burn with anger, such a waste, a tenth of what was there could have fed the entire compound for a year. That she would be able to do nothing to change it made her bristle with rage, that all her respect and political power would come from belief in a non-existent deity was deplorable. Still there was other power to be gained, and that did not come from the blind faith of others.

Weariness dragged on Periam but she fought through it into her blood where the power passed down through the centuries lay dormant, waiting to be reawakened. It was becoming easier than it once had been, her skill and strength growing with each passing day. There were no gestures, no required, just will and Periam had been practising day and night, the others could not hope to do a tenth of what she was capable of, nor could they detect it. Periam concentrated on the door, willing it to open, with a sudden creak the door sprang forward, opening to everyone she had ever known partaking in her eulogy. Startled faces turned towards her and acolytes rose to challenge the person who had entered during the ceremony.

Without pause she walked forward, ignoring every face that watched her progress, leaving a wake of catatonic people behind her. By the time she reached the alter people had already begun to pass out from the shock, slumping down in the pews, those around them completely ignorant to their plights. Without a sound Periam knelt in front of the alter, reaching out her pale hands to place them on its surface. A round of gasps broke out through the crowd and several more thumps came from behind her as more of the people fainted. Corneil the do’Ram hurried over to her, his priestly robes flaring around his hasty form.

“Child, you must not lay your hands on the alter, you have not been anointed!” Corneil insisted urgently.

A smile broke on Periam’s face, this was going exactly as she had expected, perhaps seeing the future was a side effect of her powers. “Have I not? Has not Nires himself anointed me?” replied Periam, breaching the customs that prevented all but the first priest, the do’Ram from speaking.

Corneil’s face turned from shock, to horror to wonderment as he realised what she meant. Struggling to control himself Corneil spoke not to her but to the whole temple, “Today we have witnessed a miracle. Today, among us is the first Blatha in centuries that the hom’Lek Nires has deemed worthy.” Corneil turned back to her, addressing her in a voice that the entire temple could still hear, “Arise Blatha Periam and be blessed.”

Suppressing her smile Periam slowly rose to her feet, facing the greying do’Ram and spoke with the same strength he had, “I will accept your blessing do’Ram, but know this. I am no longer Blatha Periam, I am the do’Koret-Blatha.”

Looking long at her the do’Ram seemed to weigh and measure her, his weary face and old eyes filled with new vigour. For him this was the holiest moment he had every experienced. He had been in the temple since his birth and was now drawing ever closer to his death, his old form wizened and his hair had long since lost it’s colour but in this moment he was experiencing a rebirth. Before him was the future of his people, a messiah chosen by the hom’Lek’s own hand, that she had come during his lifetime gave was astounding.

Corneil knelt before her and even Periam’s eye’s widened, she had never expected this, not from the second most powerful do’Ram in the nation. Corneil bowed his head and spoke with fervour in his voice that drove all the inadequacies of age away “I am your servant do’Koret-Blatha until the great hom’Lek Nires summons me. Whatever the task He has set you may be, I will see it achieved even if I must pay with life and soul.”

Periam was lost, she could not find in herself a way to answer such a pledge, the do’Ram had offered her his soul, without it he would have no chance of seeing the god he had such faith in. In a few minutes her mind became more ordered, and she reformed her plan, taking advantage of the new development. Drawing the old priest to his feet she felt a twinge of sadness that one who gave his loyalty to her so freely was so old and frail, within minutes of speaking to him she was already beginning to feel a kinship with the man, something that had never happened to her before.

“I do accept your pledge do’Ram, your service to the hom’Lek is appreciated more than you can know. He would never ask that you give your soul for Him, true followers may never fear that.” Periam said planting two seeds while reassuring the do’Ram, “There are many who will not be as accepting of the change my coming will bring, I ask for the temple’s protection while I prepare for my task.”

[Vashna]

Corneil was surprised by the request, looking at her he did not see a woman unprepared, he saw a leader, despite the undistinguished clothes and her youth. She held herself with a confidence and strength that few could ever accomplish, whoever she was worried about must be powerful. It did not matter though, nobody was more powerful than the temples of Nires.

“You have our protection, nobody shall prevent you performing your task. Anything you need will be supplied.” replied Corneil, bowing his head in acceptance and deference.

“What I need now is to address my people, but your loyalty is welcome do’Ram.” Periam said, tilting her head in acceptance as she did, Corneil stepped aside, allowing her access to the alter.

“al’Blatha, a new day is upon you. Today is the start of something great, soon the al’Blatha will begin to change, no longer will every Blatha die before their time, soon the al’Koret will be born into this world to aid me in the service of Nires.” said Periam, her voice echoing through the great chamber. The crowd shifted with her words but did not dare to speak. “I am sorry to have to say this but none of you are al’Koret, Nireslott is not yet prepared for their coming but Nires will still welcome your service in the afterlife.”

Despite this news the people still looked at her with adoration, she was quickly gaining a following amongst the al’Blatha, many simply could not see past the fact that she was the chosen one, others were in awe of her for her strength but a small minority felt the pangs of envy, mostly those close to their twenty first birthdays. Turning away from the people she said to Corneil, “Conclude the service then we will have much to discuss.”

Even with the new standing she had been given, she was not prepared to lose it by breaking custom so far as to leave the temple. Instead she took the do’Ram’s chair, which because of his position appeared more like a throne. Sitting there she was elevated above all others in the room, both in figurative and literal senses. From here she could look down on every single person in the room, and despite the do’Ram’s stirring service every eye in the room remained locked on her.

Periam sat there basking in the feel of it, drawing in their adoration and letting it seep through every pore of her being. She felt invigorated in a way she had never felt, the weariness disappeared from her and she began to feel the world around her, sensing it as she drew deeply on her blood. When the service had completed the acolytes went towards the door to open the great brass doors for the people to exit, they never got the chance.
Periam reached out, willing the doors with all her strength, she had never tried anything so far away and it was almost beyond her ability.

With a groan the doors sprung open, almost hitting the acolytes on the way. Light poured into the temple, illuminating the central isle, and at its end Periam. The sight of her sitting there, basking in the glow of light sent from the heavens was one that was passed down through the generations.

[Vashna]

Okay, some of you may have seen in my sig that the next story is being called Ascension, if not well then it is. It is beginning to look like it will be even larger than the last one (1950 words) and at the moment I have written around 900+ words and have not even had Periam in it.

So because I may be late with the delivery, or maybe not, and also because I don't want too many people getting attached to Amberly's stuff and forgetting mine (:) you know I think it will be good) I have decided to post a little preview.

-----------------EDIT----------------------------
Okay because of the fact that this is taking longer than expected (Like my title does not make any sense yet) I have removed the brief preview I had up here and am now adding a much larger section as Part 1.

After I finish this one I will have to think about whether or not to scale the stories back to shorten them (ie remove description etc) or to continue on as I have been.

This will probably be up to you people, THIS TIME I REALLY WANT SOME FEEDBACK (AND NOT JUST SAYING TO DO WHAT I WANT, I ALREADY DO I WANT YOUR OPINION).

---------------------------------------------------

Okay this story is just a little darker in parts than some of the others and I am experimenting with Findai so if you end up not liking it tell me, it is an experiment the point is to find out something.

[Vashna]

Ascension

al’Lek’do-Tesa they called it, the Gods First Haven and it surely was the gods first haven in this world. It was the capital of Nireslott and the spiritual centre of the worshippers of Nires and all the lesser gods. It had been there for millennia, surviving the ice and floods of the era long past. Broken monuments lined the streets, destroyed first by water and then by man when the previous rulers had fell. Not that anyone in the city knew that though, save the Royal Caste, not for the first time do’Majat Findai wondered what the peasants believed them to be.

For him as First Prince they were little more than reminders of how stupid others could be. Today he did not need the reminder however, his own family had summoned him because they had proved to be incompetent fools. When he had come of age the first proposal he wrote was that something should be done about the al’Blatha, he had always maintained that the prophecies and beliefs in the populace were becoming too centred around them. His family had been too caught up in tradition to change though, for centuries they had been killing the al’Blatha off but they could not bring themselves to provide greater controls over them and what the public knew of them.

Findai had been vacationing at his summer villa with his concubines when his family had called for his help. He had heard the rumours on the way, a great spiritual leader had come to bring a new age of glory for Nires or some such rubbish. What had happened was a hopeless assassin failing in his task. Pain raced through his arm and looking down he realised his hand had been gripping his dagger so tightly the supple leather sheath had been sliced open by the blade.

Lifting his hand into the light he watched, fascinated by the sight of his blood pooling in the palm, it had been too long since he saw blood. Perhaps when the assassin was found he might get to see more, or perhaps he could convince the council that this wench should be dealt with. As the coach rolled to a stop in front of al’Yurtani he pondered whether or not she was attractive, most al’Blatha where with their pale skin and dark hair, he might have some fun before he ended her life. The idea brought a smile to his lips as he stepped down onto a servants back, breaking a woman was always something he relished. Another servant lay flat in front of him, waiting to serve as a step, just because he could Findai stepped down heel first, driving it into the mans spine, causing him to gasp in pain.

al’Yurtani, the palace as it was called was an immense structure, built solely for the purpose of housing the Royal Caste, all seventy eight of them. In reality they were not in any way Royal, they were just descended from the masterminds behind the rebellion centuries ago. Their families had only incited the destruction, then came in to claim the ruins, and yet they had ruled unopposed for centuries by manipulating the people, eliminating the powerful and linking themselves to the gods. The only building other than the temples to be built of the blue marble, the palace radiated power, even if it was a hideous lump of stone. It had been beautiful once, but soon enough it had not been big enough so more towers and extensions were added. The process continued until all that was visible of the original was a single spire in the centre, jutting up from among a maze of towers.

Within seconds of his arrival Findai’s every need could have been taken care of, his hand bandaged, his thisrst quenched and his travel worn muscles massaged by several of the five hundred servant girls. It galled him that his father in all his wisdom had demanded to see him immediately, if it wasn’t for the repercussions he would have killed the old sod years before. So he took his time on the way up, letting the ageing ruler cool his heels as he managed to acquire a warm drink, al’Lek’do-Tesa was always cold, it was one of the reasons he preferred his villa.

Arriving in the throne room Findai took the chance to observe what would eventually be his, the giant throne of the hom’Holek, the true king. His daydreaming was interrupted by a call echoing off the gilded walls.

“So you finally came back did you boy? Well aren’t you going to say hello to your own father?”

Findai closed his eyes briefly, gathering himself before turning. “Hello father, I see you have managed to get yourself into just as much trouble as always.”

Standing next to a window was a short man, clad in deep blue robes, obviously silk from the way they shone in the light. Almost completely bald, his head was blotched with purple marks and his skin was wrinkled with age. Nobody would ever look twice at him in a crowd, he was hardly of regal bearing. And yet this wrinkled old midget was the most powerful man in all of Nireslott. He had been smiling but as soon as Findai spoke his smile faltered and just the same as always he stopped unsure of how to deal with his own son. He looked up at the hardened face he saw before him, the uncaring eyes and then he saw the blood, slowly dripping from his hand onto the expensive rug covering the cold floor.

Findai followed his eyes down to his hand and laughed, “Worried I’ll ruin your precious rug? Or that I did something you’ll regret?”

Findai walked over to him, clapping his bleeding hand onto his shoulder, holding it there letting the blood seep into his robe, turning it black. His father looked up at him, making no effort to hide the fact that he was terrified of his son. His eyes wandered away from Findai’s face, moving to the doorway, already regretting his decision to involve his son. He broke the grasp by turning, which was in some ways harder than facing Findai, looking out the window he saw the compound and in amongst its stone walls the temple.

“You have heard of her then, this Periam.” he said his head tilting to the side, trying to see what Findai was doing behind him.

[Vashna]

“I have heard that the saviour of the al’Blatha has arrived, to bring in a new golden age. I have heard she lived through her ascension, despite the fact that we sent an assassin to kill her.” replied Findai taking a seat on a chair between his father and the door. It always amused him to torment the old man, inspiring fear in him when it served no purpose. “What happened, didn’t you pay him enough?”

“His body was fished out of the river. Past where it runs through the compound.” said the hom’Holek.

His head shaking Findai spoke, “So now we hire assassins who can’t even handle little girls? How did I ever come from this family? I assume that she has made some kind of speech, what did she say.”

“I wish you would use that mind of yours for a better purpose than insulting your heritage.” sighed the old man, producing a piece of paper from his sleeve and handing it over to Findai. “We have decided to allow the next Blatha to live, to discredit her.”

Reading over the document Findai began to realise the foolishness of the old man’s actions, this Periam was too sure that there would be no other. It only took him seconds to figure out why. “It doesn't matter, she is going to kill them anyway.”

The hom’Holek turned to him, surprise in his voice and plastered on his face, “What do you mean she will kill them, they are her people.”

“Read it again old man, she is certain that they will die. And this al’Koret business, she has it all planned out, she will select from among them those who are loyal to her. They will serve her not Nires.” Said Findai, grabbing the old man half way through to drive home his point, “Think, an assassin dies and without any wounds unless I miss my guess. This Periam is organising a group of Blatha loyal to her alone. She knows father, she is gaining strength with their witchery. We cannot allow the al’Blatha to regain that power, it will be the end of us.”

Despite being shaken both physically and mentally the hom’Holek knew what Findai said had to be true, that this Periam had to be stopped, but there was still a chance. “If the next Blatha dies without us interfering then you will have her.” replied the old man, weariness setting into his haggard form, “But only if the next one dies, are we clear?”

Findai did not bother answering, just turned and left the room, looking for a serving girl or three to ease his mind.

------------------------------------------------

Corneil looked up at the temple’s sole clock, watching as the hands approached midday. He was a package of eagerness and nerves, all rolled into one, wanting it to take forever, wanting it to happen now. Soon the Ceremony of Ascension would begin and shortly after midnight the truth or falsity of Periam’s words would be known. The child’s name was Madrith, and it was a strange feeling for Corneil to wish that she did rise to Nires, even though he knew that it must be so. Still a part of him wished that there could be another way, surely Nireslott was ready for whatever Nires had planned. Immediately he chastised himself for such a thought, Nires was the hom’Lek, never could his word be doubted and Periam was surely his voice in the worldly realm.

She had kept to herself since the day she was anointed, their discussion had given him little insight into what was going to happen, and there had been nothing for days. She had decided to take the role of do’Ram for the ceremony, telling him that if her people must die she would at least honour them for it. She often confused him with things like that, speaking as though she would have preferred to do things differently, even though Nires himself had proclaimed that they must be that way. Still Nires had made his choice and if she doubted her path it was only because she did not want to see her people suffer.

Not for the first time he wondered what he would have felt for her if he was younger, she was the most stunning woman he had ever know, but he would never have been worthy of someone such as she. Sometimes he looked at her as a woman, and sometimes as a daughter, a reflection of the wife he had once had, not Blatha herself but with the same colouration, a unique woman unlike any other. Still Periam was not his daughter, nor his wife and that would never change, he would die before too long and she hardly looked a day over twenty. His eyes strayed to the door, leading to the quarters she now lived in, she had not left the room for three days now, and he was beginning to worry.

The sound of the clock striking midday broke him out of the perpetual daze he had been in recently, it was time to begin. The temple emptied quickly, acolytes and priests leaving for the main hall, where the ceremony would be held, with a glance towards Periam’s door, he too went about the preparation tasks, placing the Chalice of Nires on the marble alter, filling it with sacred wine. At this point Periam appeared at his shoulder, gazing into the burgundy depths of the wine as the chalice filled, the colour darkened slightly and Corneil was momentarily puzzled, before realising it was probably just a shift in the light.

He and Periam left as one, silent in respect for the moment to come. Corneil looked at her and pride filled him as her observed the determination visible in her eyes, the fact that it was a struggle for her warmed him. They entered the hall to a flock of stares, some of adoration, some of respect and a few of sadness, all the al’Blatha knew that she had predicted their deaths, for some this night was the moment of truth, when they were to discover what day they would die.

There was no doubt for Corneil, he knew that tomorrow there would be a eulogy service in the temple, the people remembering another Blatha to rise to Nires joining the thousands or millions already there, nobody really knew. When the Ceremony came to a close Madrith drunk from the chalice and retired for the night. No interruption came during the service the next day and some Blatha begun to weep openly in the pews, even though they wept for themselves not for her. Madrith’s body was removed from her rooms later in the day, her face peaceful and her eyes closed, the same as always.

-----------------------------------------
Findai woke to his father walking making his way around the clothes and sleeping bodies littered on the floor. The old man’s face was a mask of fear and sadness, his movements staggered, and his eyes red and drooping, he had obviously not slept. Immediately Findai smiled, knowing that soon he would be organising the death of a woman, those were always more enjoyable than the men. Perhaps he would do this one himself.

RB

(I managed to shorten it down by reducing the ceremony etc, so it was musch shorter)

[Amberly]

its not fair.. you're a better writer than I am... at least when it comes to short stories

[Vashna]

how am I supposed to repond to that?

You are much, much, much,much, much, much better at poetry than me. Besides I have been making stories since I was about 2 and writing seriously for 4-5 years (except I can never finish anything) if you think I'm any better its because I have practice. It gets easier as you go on, develop your style and write what you feel (now I sound like an old fart)

Thanks for the compliment anyway.

[Mizz Elayne]

I'm printing your stories out right now. I can't stand reading that much on a screen. Not sure I'm the best person to ask for advice, though... Will try

[Vashna]

Yeah, I know, I've been wondering if I am making them too long, for instance Dark birth is 600 long, Ascension is 2200

Okay, next story is Change, I decided to switch back to the other storyline for this one (just to frustrate those people who want to know what is going to happen to Periam) anyway it continues on from the storyline in Peace, following Komindia. btw Komindia's name comes from a girl called Dominika.

[Vashna]

Here is the first part of change, I decided to post this because what I am going to write for the rest is kinda stumping me. This bit is a little different as it isn't really story (in the show don't tell sense), more of a catch up/reflective bit.

Don't worry I am returning to my normal style (ie actually having characters talk etc) I just wrote this bit this way because there wasn't really another way to write it, due to the fact I didn't want to write an immediate sequel to Peace.

Anyway without further ado here is part 1


Change

It had begun slowly, silently so as to avoid attention, it could not remain that way for long. The seed had been planted and had spread, growing past their intentions, leaving them no alternative. So it was that Komindia found herself teaching, first Hiran and then the rest of the male al’Blatha, teaching them simple things, like how to read and write. They picked it up quickly, centuries of selective breeding had long since weeded out any inferior qualities in them. It had all begun that day by the river with Hiran, they had spoken for the remainder of the day, until she had to leave once more.

For hours they had spoken of their lives, the differences between them. Komindia slowly began to realise that he knew very little of the world beyond the compound, it was as if there was nothing for the men beyond its walls, and there might as well have been, none had been outside them in millennia. Hiran knew little of what was know in the compound as well, the men did not speak to anyone in the compound besides each other, and that was their only means of communication. So she had decided to teach him everything she knew, about the world, about the al’Blatha and any skill she could.

They had spent what little time they could together with her sitting by the river writing down words in the dirt, with Hiran beside her, watching her every move. It had gone on for a month before one of the men had come looking for him, wanting to know why he was not working. He too became part of the lessons, and even though Komindia missed the time alone with Hiran she soon came to the conclusion that she had to help the men. So the word spread, with more and more of the men coming to learn. Hiran began to teach himself, both with her and separately, teaching the boys back in the male quarters. It progressed quickly and soon most of the male al’Blatha could rudimentarily read and write, unbeknownst to the rest of the compound.

Meanwhile as Komindia and Hiran were beginning an intellectual awakening something was awakening inside Komindia. Their night together had achieved its purpose, a new life was growing inside her. For the first time in his life Hiran had something to look forward to, and it slowly began to drive him mad. Hiran was almost twenty, by the time the child was born he would have less than a year to live, the thought of not being able to see that child grow up was devastating. Knowing he would lose Komindia as well drove him to despair. Often he would just watch her as she sat teaching someone, watching her and the swelling mass that was their child. He would watch, knowing that he would be taken from them early by a god who would then take them early too.

In the past blind faith in Nires was all Hiran had, now he despised the hom’Lek. He did not dare show any of his pain to Komindia though, to him she was life, the air that he breathed, the eyes that made him see, to make her sad was to tear out his own heart. So as she devoted herself to others he devoted himself to her, as her servant and as the man she loved.
----------------------------------------------------

[Mizz Elayne]

*jumping up and down, clapping hands*

More, more, more!

[Vashna]

*jumping up and down, clapping hands*

More, more, more!
Well I'm glad your enthusiastic about it, now no more suspense here is part 2, part 3 is on the way...

Change Part 2

Komidia tapped the end of the branch against her mouth, watching as one of her students struggled to write down words. He had only begun two weeks ago but already he knew how to describe the compound and everything in it, the speed at which they learnt truly shocked her. She had always noticed that the pale skinned al’Blatha were in general taller, stronger and healthier than the other people in the compound but she was only just beginning to realise how different they truly were.

Most of her students had required no more than two months before they were skilled enough to teach themselves. Some had even picked it up sooner, and had then themselves begun teaching. Never again would any al’Blatha, male or female be unable to write, to stop them now would require all the men to die, and the al’Blatha with them. She looked over at Hiran, knowing that he too would die eventually, she did not know when exactly, she could not bring herself to ask. Running a hand over her slowly swelling stomach she felt slightly consoled by knowing that a part of him would live on.

Spring was drawing to a close and by the end of summer she would be a mother, the thought was reassuring and yet terrifying at the same time. Her own mother had been dead by Komindia’s fifth birthday and she had been raised in a group home for the rest of her childhood, she had no idea of how to raise a child. Then again maybe it was best if she didn’t, al’Koret were taken a year after birth and raised by carers, if she was given the choice between her child living her whole life without contact or dying early, Komindia did not know which would be better. But her heart told her that letting her child live was the only option available.

Beside her the man finished the writing correctly, it was as if she was no longer necessary to them. With a sigh she closed her eyes, feeling the cold wind pass through her, al’Lek’do-Tesa was so cold, even during the warmer months, but today the sky was cloaked in black, with no sun the air was freezing. Thick blue wool shielded her from most of the cold but it still drew the heat from her. She began to wish for warmth, for her pale limbs to regain what little colour they normally had. Slowly the wind began to change, it temperature rising in time with the blood now surging within her. She kept her eyes closed, trying to hold onto the feeling, she had felt it before, the day she stopped Hiran. It was just as older Blatha had described it, but never had she heard of anyone her age feeling it.

Just as soon as it started it passed, the wind returning to normal, weariness and cold settling in where moments before her limbs had been warm. She opened her eyes again to see Hiran kneeling over her, his eyes a mask of fear.

“Are you alright.” Hiran asked, “Was it the baby? Should I fetch someone?’

He was struggling, fighting between staying and going for help, he could not bear to leave her. She smiled, what were the chances of finding a man like this, someone so caring, so loyal. Realisation struck her, she had fallen, her back was pressed down into the dirt. She reached out, taking one of his hands, feeling the damp cloth pressing against her skin, she had almost fallen in the river.

[The Gambler]

This stuff is good, keep it comming.

[Vashna]

Okay, sorry this bit is a little late but I was busy for a while. I cut it down slightly, very little desription in the whole story so it is shorter than the others. There was going to be a little more, but I decided not to give that away just yet.... Anyway without futher ado I give you the conclusion to change and I will start on the next idea...

Change part 3

“It’s alright, it had nothing to do with the baby. I just reached too far…” Komindia’s voice trailed off when she realised who else was around, Hiran knowing was one thing but the power was a secret that must be kept.

Still as Hiran helped her to find her footing they did not seem to have noticed, either that or they were smart enough not to poke their noses in where they didn’t belong. Looking at their faces she decided the latter was more likely, perhaps it was time to take her leave from the lessons, too much information could be a bad thing. Silently she pressed her palm against Hiran’s then began walking back towards her rooms, leaving Hiran there to contemplate what had happened.

Komindia was at a loss to describe what had happened to her, she was shocked at how fast her power was developing, first holding Hiran, now warming the air. Others had the power too, but they were older, and they could do little more than lift light objects, there were rumours of others doing more but Komindia had seen no proof of it. The thought came to her that perhaps they too were hiding it, that she was not the only one, it made her even more confused. It put her at rest, but also saddened her, it would be incredible to have such strength to herself.

As she settled into bed it came to her, during her ponderings it had always come down to age, that she was too young for this. But al’Halek’mol-Blatha was more than twenty years her senior, surely she would have even greater power. As sleep claimed her she wondered what her queen was capable of, and as her eyes closed the question came, could she summon fire and lightning? Her dreams were troubled ones, the dreams of a person awakening into a new world.

[Vashna]

Okay the next story is at current nameless, I will probably be heading back to the Periam bit (even though people seem to like Komindia more) and continuing on the story there. I might continue posting little bits rather than the whole thing, and I may just start to write the whole thing as a novel, rather than short story.

So people tell me what you think, should I continue with the above style (ie little description fairly simple etc) or move to a more developed style, (ie more detailed character descriptions, locations etc)? keep in mind the second means that the story takes longer to develop, and I may take a little while to get back into it...

Oh yeah and the more feedback I get the more I write = more stories for you, so if you like them tell me, if you don't tell me what you would prefer me to do, I am flexible.

[Vashna]

Well, here I am yet again, posting a new bit of story, even sooner than I expected, but then this one is coming easier than the last.

Okay we are back with Periam, still moving in linear sequels to the previous ones, it has been probably a three to four weeks since the events in Ascension. This one is going to be fairly long as I don't want to break the storyline for a while, so I will hopefully be posting a new page or so every couple of days. The current title is Blood, and it is very much a working title, I don't know whether it will fit the end result.

Anyway here is part 1

Blood

Heat blasted into Corneil’s old bones as he opened the door to Periam’s chambers, it was as if the cold did not touch the room at all. Looking around he saw her, sitting behind what was once his desk. Periam’s eyes were closed and yet she tilted her head as he entered a slight smile forming on her lips as her eyelids stared at him. Despite the heat Corneil shivered, strange things happened often around Periam and he had just began to realise it was her causing them. Looking over to the fireplace he was not shocked to see that the fire was unnaturally high for the wood in it, her chambers had gotten warmer each time he had visited her, and the flames higher.

He sat in a chair opposite her, noting that the eyeless gaze followed him perfectly. Corneil looked at her, observing that her skin was no longer pale white, it had taken on a slight hue, the colour making her appear less of a ghost. It would fade though, it always did after time. Her eyes opened suddenly, their gaze locked directly onto his own, as though she had already been looking at them. He opened his mouth to speak and she held up her hand.

“You are worried, I know. Soon the storms will be coming with the first snows of winter and you are wondering how long will it take.” she looked at him, her eyes a mix of encouragement and reassurance, “You are not that old, you will live to see it start yet.”

Corneil sat looking at her for a second, confusion in his face. It quickly changed to agreement however, and his wrinkled face was broken by a smile. “How is it that you always know what I am thinking, even if I do not realise it myself?” he asked, believing that perhaps she could read minds as well as heat a room.

“Because it is written on you, even if you try to avoid thinking of your age. Don’t worry my friend, I should be ready before we are buried beneath the snow.” she replied, standing and walking to a jug over the fireplace, “And don’t think I will let you die on me so easily, I enjoy your company to much.”

She poured a glass of wine for each of them, sipping hers as she sat once more, Corneil lifted his to his lips, feeling the warm liquid roll over his tongue as he drunk. Looking at her face he wondered how much of her statement had been a joke and how much she was speaking truth. Still he did not mind if it was the latter, the truth was he enjoyed her company too, they had spent many an afternoon discussing philosophy and just as much time sharing stories or playing games of skill. She had proven to be a worthy opponent, he could rarely predict her moves, nor counter her strategies. She had not lost a game of al’Bokana’han, the Empire’s Lands to him since their third game, the last had taken almost three days to finish due to him continuously having to defend his han.

He remembered their first match, she had never played the game before, and few had, it was much too old for many to remember it. It was perhaps one of the few things that remained from before, before what Corneil did not know, and neither did anyone else, but he knew that the name meant something. Empire’s Lands, Nireslott had never been an Empire, not that he knew of, but the name came from somewhere.

[Vashna]

Wow, this story is coming much easier than some of the others, I wrote the next bit in little more than an hour (trust me I take a while to type some things so that is pretty good) The title is still not working but its getting there...

Blood Part 2

A cough brought him out of his ponderings, and he realised that he was frowning at air. He looked up at Periam seeing the amused smile on her face, he wondered how long he had been sitting there staring into emptiness. Looking out the window he saw the sun was setting, but that did not mean much, it was near dusk when he came in.

“My apologies Periam. Will you find it in your heart to forgive and old man going senile?” he asked, already knowing what she would say.

“Senile? I do believe you suffer from a wandering mind, surely a man of your youth would not be senile.” Periam replied with a smile, they had spoken those words before, it was not the first time he had been lost in thought.

As the last light from the sun left the sky they settled down to a game of al’Bokana’han, placing the antique pieces onto the board. Onto the map-like board went soldiers, castles, barbarians and all sorts of pieces, the names long lost in history. Always it started the same, each player beginning with one han, then fighting to control them all by capturing capitals. al’Lek’do-Tesa was there, one of the starting capitals, but the land around it was nothing like the Nireslott they knew. The mountains remained, but the sea that surrounded the nation was not there, only plains and lowlands.

Periam enjoyed the game, not just because of the challenge, but because when she looked at the Empire on the board, it reminded her of what she could do, what she could accomplish with enough power. al’Lek’do-Tesa was a starting point, once armies had risen from it and conquered, whether they were successful or not she did not know but she knew there were no Blatha pieces. If the ancestors of what was now Nireslott had been able to conquer without that power, imagine what she could do with it. So as she played at conquering an ancient world, she thought of how to conquer the unknown world, the one she lived in.
----------------------------------------------------------------

Knocking coming from his doors broke Findai’s concentration, cursing he bellowed to the person who had disturbed him, “What is it you filthy ass?”

From behind the door a fearful croaking came, “do’Majat, th…the, man you sent for is here.”

Findai climbed off the bed and grabbed the silver blue robe that lay discarded on the floor, covering himself with it before taking up his dagger and walking to the door. It was not wise to invite an assassin in while you were unarmed, even if he was supposedly loyal. Seizing the handles, he pulled on both doors, stepping back as they swung open from the force. Before him stood his tenth, or was it eleventh steward, Findai rarely kept track of such things, slaves were unimportant. The black cloaked man behind him was not however.

Little over five and a half feet tall the man was a dwarf compared to Findai, but by no means harmless. His face was a ruined mess of scars, he had been a torka slave before Findai had recruited him for surviving two years as a duellist. Buying him had been one of Findai’s best investments, he had already killed a dozen men who tried to incite rebellion against his family. He had risen swiftly in the ranks of al’Blent’mol’Soren, the daggers of the night. His rise had come, after a series of disappearances in the upper ranks, and he had held the position of do’Blent for several months, a notable achievement in Findai’s order of assassins.


Findai = :devil: hehe just kidding, I will update the glossary soon so if you don't get anything just wait.

[Night_Daughter]

These are really good. I like lots of detail, n matter how long it takes to do. Good writing takes time. Keep them up!

[Vashna]

A brief apology to all for the lack of stories, I just finished reading SOIAF, my sleeping habits haven't been too good (going to bed at 2-5am and waking up at 10:30am-2pm) and I just started back at uni but I have most of this week free (only lectures in week 1). Expect a new addition to Blood by the end of the week (ish).

[Vashna]

Here is blood part three, overdue it may be but what can you do about it. Anyway it is not the final bit of blood, there is still more to come...

Blood Part 3

Among his colleagues, he was known as the Shadow and had become a myth of sorts, tales of his murders changing as they were told until fact was lost in fiction. A look from Findai dismissed the steward, obviously worried about whether he would loose his position, along with his head, like those before him. Not for the first time Findai wondered if the Shadow would be able to kill him if he tried, the last three in his position had been unable to but Findai suspected that this one was more skilled than he let on.

His eyes locked onto the man’s each pair a mirror of arrogance and dominance, then do’Blent’s eyes swung past, looking into the chamber and hunger appeared in them. A sneer appeared on his lips, a scar broke it and lent his stare a hint of madness. Sounds came from the bedchamber, a woman’s voice and cloth tearing. Findai turned, looking in disgust towards the serving girl trying to cover herself in a torn bed sheet, silk and expensive like everything else in al’Yurtani. Turning back to his first dagger he motioned the man away from the door, into his private sitting room, the girl he locked in the room.

Sitting in the single, throne-like chair, Findai left the assassin to stand as he made himself comfortable. He watched the man for a little time, reading him, seeing what had changed since they had last spoken, he had at least a dozen more scars, some barely a day old but his manner was unchanged.

“You know of the Blatha woman.” said Findai, it was not a question.

Shadow merely nodded, his gaze swinging back to the door now and again.

“She is to die, preferably quietly, from poison.” Findai’s voice was level, he put more emotion into ordering food than ordering someone’s murder, performing the murder himself was a different matter.

Cold eyes turned to him and the assassin’s hand rose, his thumb and forefinger rubbing together.

“On completion. 50 gold dran and another three months.” Findai replied to the unspoken question, the reward being allowed to live for a little longer.

Shadow looked satisfied but he glanced once more towards the bedchamber door, and Findai realised immediately what he was after.

“I see we share similar tastes. She’s yours, and don’t say I am never generous.” As the assassin’s eyes found him once Findai grinned, “I forgot, you can’t say anything.”

For a moment the do’Blent’s eyes flared and he bared his teeth, still he did not reach for a weapon, the do’Majat could take things other than his tongue.

Walking over to the bedchamber Findai opened the door walking in, seeing the girl jump to her feet as she saw him, dropping the sheet. When the do’Blent appeared in the doorway she bent to reclaim it, stopping only when Findai placed his naked foot on it. The pleading look in her eyes as he grabbed her hips was repulsive. Walking behind her Findai watched as her body began to shake, maybe she had thought herself different from all the rest, that he in fact had cared for her. With a chuckle he slapped her rump, sending her staggering across the chamber, towards the waiting assassin.

She looked back at him as the Shadow dragged her out the door, the fear and pain in her eyes obvious as she began to weep. When she passed from his sight Findai turned and walked to the second door in his chambers, the one hidden behind a bookcase full of books he had never read.

[Vashna]

Get ready for the final installment of Blood, next, well I'll let you guys decide.

More of Komindia, Periam or something different? Its up to you guys, I don't really know which one you guys prefer.

Okay this piece of Blood is twice as long as any of the others and makes Blood the longest of the stories at a whopping 3100+ words (Don't say I don't put any effort in for you guys) and adds more info about some things and is probably my favorite, but I won't spoil it for you.

Blood Part 4 (final)
Periam floated, surrounded by silence and noise, light and dark, alone and surrounded. It was like that now, when her blood flowed with the power. She could feel the word around her, like it was a part of her, and yet she could not feel herself. It was like she became the world and ceased to exist all at once and each day she could feel more, could sense more. For each moment the blood flowed she knew she weakened, knew that soon her time would be up and she would be forced back into herself and reality.

Still every time she returned she had been gone for a little longer, had separated herself more, and tested her limits. She knew the sun was rising, and that she had not slept, she knew the priests were going about their business in the next room, she knew it all. Except what she was going to do next. It plagued her, the doubt, the changes to her plans. Periam had started down a path, one that she had chosen with full knowledge of the future, but at every crossroads since, she had taken the wrong turn, leading further away from her plan.

Still she realised she was not the bloodthirsty woman she had needed to be, she could not bring herself to kill her people, and she was doubting whether or not she would have the power she needed to achieve her goals. That was why she spent so much time with her blood flowing, it took her away from it all, the surging power and the feelings driving it all from her mind, removing any doubt as to what she could do.

Outside and within something changed, moving and drawing closer. Periam struggled to understand it, to feel it, but her strength waned, and her body slowly came back to her, its weakness seeped into her as her blood slowed, the power diminishing. Feeling drew back, the world shrinking until all that remained was her. Barely conscious she tried to open her eyes, but the after-effects drained her, robbing her of control. Still she struggled, even knowing she could not for a few minutes yet.

Someone was here, someone was in her room and she could do nothing. Panic overcame sense and in her mind the worst possibilities became reality. When a hand touched a shoulder she flinched, if her throat had worked she would have screamed. The hand grasped her arm, firm yet it did not hurt, and a voice came to her, cutting through the anguish and fear, calming her.

“Child… Child wake up.” came a soft yet probing voice.

Periam’s eyes fluttered briefly before control returned and the lids snapped back, blinding her with the morning light. As the haze cleared she saw Corneil standing over her a worried frown on his face. Lowering her eyes she saw a platter with breakfast sitting on the table. Her face flushed, the pale white of her skin turning pink as she realised how foolish she had been. Still when she tried to reassure him that she was alright she lay paralysed, unable to speak, or move.

Corneil watched in as Periam’s eyes widened and looked up at him again. Never before had he seen fear in those eyes, but he saw it now. Placing a hand on her forehead he checked for fever, her skin felt like ice. With what little strength was left in his old bones he lifted her, half carrying, half dragging her to the fireplace. Placing her as close as he dared he returned to rip the sheets off the bed, rushing to her to place the blankets over her frigid body.

The door opened behind him and without looking he immediately called for blankets and hot wine. Periam looked though and her fear surged to new heights. A glimpse of the face within the acolyte’s hood told her that this man belonged in no temple. Scars crossed his face making it appear to be patched together. He paused looking confused at the pair, then the tray sitting on the table, a duplicate of the one he held. Turning back he saw her eyes, and for a second doubt showed on his face, then his broken lips spread into a smile, all the more hideous for not touching his eyes.

Slowly he placed the tray down, watching her in contempt as he slowly drew a dagger, giving her time to watch the blade glint in the light. Fear gave way to anger and she redoubled her efforts, struggling to make her limbs move, to warn Corneil, to shout, to do anything. He drew closer and stopped teasing her, dragging out the moment, enjoying the experience. His smile dimmed but did not disappear when her arm moved, grasping Corneil, forcing him to look at her eyes, to see what she saw.

Assassin and priest exchanged looks then Corneil threw himself, moving too quickly for a man of his age. An eternity passed, or maybe seconds, then something struck Periam’s face. Something spread over her lip, dripping in onto her tongue and she tasted salt. As if bonelessly Corneil dropped to the ground, wheezing, trying to breath with a hole in his throat.

A shadow crossed her vision and she saw him above her, Corneil’s blood dripping off his face, the terrible smile still plastered beneath it. Her eyes returned to Corneil, his face next to hers as he lay slumped on the ground, his eyes were dim, but they still showed the fire of life. It was at that moment when their eyes locked that something changed, that the power within her came alive as it never had before. The room faded, then disappeared and she could feel nothing in the room besides herself and the assassin. The blood didn’t flow, it stopped completely. Warmth flooded her limbs and to the eyes of Corneil and her would be assassin her skin changed, no longer pale white. It glowed black, and her eyes reversed colours, her pupils turning white.

She stayed like that for a moment, the power searing her, aching to be released. So she did, and the assassin was simultaneously engulfed in flames and flung across the room, to be impaled atop the al’Bokana’han pieces. Uncaring she turned to the old man, looking at him as his eyes filled with wonder. A glance told her he was dying, and a thought told her that she could save him, that she had the power within her. It was beyond her though, no matter how hard she tried she could not summon it, and she knew that soon she would collapse from fatigue.

Watching him staring at her with those adoring eyes was more than she could take, tears broke freely on her face as the door crashed open and priests and acolytes burst in, summoned by the assassins dying screams. It was all noise to Periam and Corneil though, amidst a cyclone of people they alone were the eye of the storm, silent and unmoving. Her hands cupped his face, stroking his hair back from his eyes as he slowly slipped from the world, knowing that salvation lay beyond.

Long after he was gone Periam sat, the blood long since soaked her clothes and covered her hands. Her silent screams went unanswered and she did not have the strength to scream them out loud. They pried the body from beneath her and she still sat, unmoving until a priest knelt in front of her, raising her chin. He fell backwards as she looked at him with eyes that belonged on no person, with eyes that had pure white pupils surrounded by an iris of blood red and set on pitch black eyes.

[Vashna]

Dump da dee dump da da.
I have no Idea why I wrote that it just seemed like a good idea at the time.

Well, due to the absolutely overwhelming response (sarcasm warning) I have decided to go ahead and work on my book some more, so no continuation of komindia or periam for a while. Instead if and when I am happy with it I will post the new prologue I am writing, as apposed to the one nobody has seen, and pushing back those events into the main chapters.

At the moment the prologue is titled farewells and here is a little icony thing I made, which I will be doing eventually for each chapter.

[Night_Daughter]

Sorry for not replying, I've been slightly busy and our net keeps dying.
That last story was really good! PLease please please can you write more Periam!? *sends bribe* The ending was really good.

[Vashna]

Thankyou ND, Can anyone tell me what the white bit of the eye is called? I can never seem to remember.

And the next ep of the al'Blatha stories will have to wait, I want to have it planned better before I start writing it again (info I need to work out for the prologue). All the previous ones I have just sat down and started writing with only a vague idea of where they are going, the ending of blood for instance came to me as I was writing it.

I liked it but then again I was iffy on whether or not to do that to Corneil, I had thought to do it later (nescessary evil...).

I only have one or 2 major events left (at the moment) for Periam, before the stories conclude so I want to get them right, and not to waste them.

[Night_Daughter]

Poor Corneil ahd to die because you were unsure?! Oh well, it made a good chapter.
I don't know what its called, maybe the cornea? I just studied that this year, I'll go look it up.

[Vashna]

Corneil had to die for reasons yet to be exposed... (hehe, now I'm just teasing you nah nah nah nah naaah).

the cornea is the clear flap of skin that covers and protects the irs and pupil, so thats not it (thanks anyway). Oh well if nobody knows the name then there isn't much point in using it is there?

If anyone has some issues with the explanation so far of the blood power, or anything else, feel free to ask as it will both help me to figure out where details need to be improved upon and also to make the details a little clearer.

For those of you who may not of read all the stories, here are links to the start of each, so that nobody has any excuse.

Dark Birth (http://www.wotism.net/forums/showpost.php?p=145935&postcount=2)
Peace (http://www.wotism.net/forums/showpost.php?p=146784&postcount=6)
New Day (http://www.wotism.net/forums/showpost.php?p=148548&postcount=10)
Ascension (http://www.wotism.net/forums/showpost.php?p=150215&postcount=14)
Change (http://www.wotism.net/forums/showpost.php?p=150921&postcount=20)
Blood (http://www.wotism.net/forums/showpost.php?p=153441&postcount=26)

[Vashna]

Okay I got stuck with the prologue so I decided to bow to ND's wishes in fear that she would hunt me down if I did not. :D

Okay so this is another episode to the stories, this one continuing Periam's tale. It is fresh out of my brain, since I only started it about an hour and a half ago. Just part one for now but it is 1200+ words so no complaining! (PS this is not one of the major events, just a new twist that I came up with, I am actually starting to like this story more than the main plot for my novel, but then thats because I haven't written it yet. Anyway enough of my blabbering, here is Sight.

Sight

Darkness greeted her whether it be night or day, whether or not her eyes were open. Surging power beyond her control had saved her, but robbed her as well. Periam was blind, the power that changed the colour of her eyes taking her ability to see with it. She could feel them, pain and bliss, the power still in them despite taking its leave everywhere else. She had tried once more to summon the power, for vengeance on the assassin’s masters.

It had come, flowing at her desire to kill, but she could not control it. It had raged within, struggling to be released but the palace was to far, the power needed to great for her to manage. In her eyes it had been different, she could feel the blood flowing in them, where everywhere else it had stopped. She had held on for a second too long and the damage was done. Now her eyes were useless to her and she needed a guide to help her, not daring to touch either of the blood powers again.

It had been a week now, a week without sight and a day more without Corneil. Her body had not warmed back to itself, and the cold air bit deeply into her. She could still remember one of the Ram saying she was cold as death, and within an without it was true. She had never known her father and her mother had become with child late, lasting little over a year into her life. With Corneil she had felt loved, it had tempered her anger, kept her hate in check.

With his death the hom’Holek had birthed an enemy that no longer had any desire for mercy. Only fear kept her from laying waste to her enemy with her power, only fear at what it might do to her. She knew that her inner sight still existed, that at will she could call upon it to sense what was around her, the fear trapped her in blindness. The feel of cool marble beneath her hands and the icy breeze whipping her cloak was all she had to tell her that she was on her balcony. Her mind told her that from here she should see the mausoleum where Corneil’s ashes lay alongside the priests’ and the ashes of untold numbers of al’Blatha.

Her mind told her that beyond that the compound sprawled, stretching into the distance, a city within a city. She had looked at the most recent numbers, forty thousand al’Blatha women were here, and another seventy thousand men. Why there were so many more men nobody knew, for every girl a woman gave birth to two boys were born, but more of them died than the women, they lived harder lives, and their living conditions were harsh. Periam had been a twin, her brother had died from an illness in childhood, allowed to die because that was their way.

Still she had felt no pain at knowing he had died, he had been raised away from her, with the men when he reached his… their first birthday. Darkness had given her time to think, time to wonder what would have happened if he had lived, if he had also ascended on the same day. Rituals for men required less celebration but in the past when the ascending dates coincided with each other they had been combined. If he had lived she would have had to decide whether he would live, perhaps it was a mercy he had not.

Trapped in darkness she turned away from the view she could not see, entering the temple once more. An acolyte waited for her, shivering as she took his arm. As they walked back to her chambers she could feel the warmth radiating off him, and being sucked into the unending depths of the cold that held her.

“What time is it?” she asked him as they walked.

“Night do’Koret, near to the middle of it.”

Nodding to herself she relaxed slightly, knowing that there would be no one awake to see her this way, reduced to being led around by a boy.

“I am sorry for you do’Koret. For loosing your sight, I do not know why the hom’Lek would do that.” His voice was weak and reeked of doubt.

She thought at that, doubting Nires was not something that was spoken of, especially not by acolytes in his service. “It was not the hom’Lek’s doing child, my eyes were my own fault. I reached too far too soon, I was not prepared for the task. Neither was Corneil’s fate, that blame lies with those who paid his killer.” Periam turned her empty gaze on him, “The hom’Lek sets our path, it is we who must walk it. There are some who seek to block it, they have abandoned it and the hom’Lek. Continuing on the path is a test, like the one he set my people, to make us stronger for what is yet to come.”

“We are here do’Koret.” The acolytes voice was more sure now, as if her speech had returned his faith, “Thankyou do’Koret. I should not have doubted so. The hom’Lek has truly chosen well in you.”

Periam paused at her door, disturbed by the fervent tone his voice took on at the end, it was not the praise of a friend, it was the adoration of a worshipper. Opening the door she walked into the room, following a rope that was stretched across it, leading first through the sitting room, then into her bedchamber.

She slumped onto the bed, her eyes open, wondering if she still shut them when she slept. For hours she lay, still as the room around her, thinking of the acolyte and his faith in her. It was what finally drove her past her fear, if she succumbed to it all she had gained would be lost and her people would never be freed.

Taking what seemed the deepest breath of her life she reached into herself, and brought forth the flowing blood, the safer of the two powers.

rb

[Night_Daughter]

I just realized that I didn't reply to this one.
Are you still writing? Will you continue with this or go back to your novel? I feel sorry for Periam, I don't think I could stand it if I were blind. Will she be able to get her sight back?

[Vashna]

Okay sorry to whoever is reading these stories, but I haven't got any more at the moment. I would have if I had actually had internet access but my modem went down for about a month.

Anyway, I have one of the prologues down for the novel, just need to rewrite it and bulk it out, so Sight will have to wait to be finished for a little while.

Oh and titles for the book, thinking of The True God's Blades, or The Price of Power. There not definate, just came to me when I was designing a cover.

Oh and the prologue I'm currently working on is different to the previous attempt, which will end up as either a second prologue or an early chapter. The current prologue is called Secrets, and the image to go with it is as follows.

[Night_Daughter]

Vashna's back! I've been deprived of good reading for so long.

[Vashna]

Okay here is the first little bit of Secrets (the prologue), I haven't finished it quite yet, and this bit is still in its very early stages but here it is anyway.

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Secrets

Candlelight flickered through the dark study illuminating hundreds of leather bound volumes. A heavy desk dominated the room.. Papers and books were stacked on the desk, writing implements laid out meticulously beside them. Only one feature distinguished it from any other study, there were no obvious exits. No doors or windows broke the seven walls of the room. Shadows crept across the room, obscuring its sole occupant. In a heavily padded chair behind the desk a man sat in the shadows. His pale skin had taken on a strange orange hue, yet the unnatural shade seemed to be from more than just the small candle flame.

His eyes were closed, but he was not sleeping. His skin seemed to trap light within itself, giving his unnatural pallor some colour. Without opening his eyes the man frowned in thought and then his face regained a neutral countenance. A bookcase slid aside as the room was suddenly bathed in the light of dozens of candles. In the vacant space where the bookcase had stood another man was visible, his arm poised to pull a small cord, the only link between the study and the outside world. Unphased at the autonomous door he stepped inside, the void closing behind him.

The newcomer stared briefly at the seven gold symbols each adorning its own wall. Each represented one of the seven moons that passed over Tiliane. Other nations believed them to be gods, Tiliane held no such beliefs. The gold crescent and full moons were not religious icons, nor were they merely decorations. For centuries they had been the symbol of their Order. Outside those walls all seven symbols existed together in few other places. Here in the inner sanctum of an Elder there was no need for secrecy.

Dressed as a well off page the newcomer looked at home amongst the fine books and furnishings. His skin too had a pale look almost like that of the man behind the desk, barely noticeable except in comparison. The two men appeared to be of similar age, but appearances can be deceiving. Behind the desk sat a man much older than his appearance implied. With measured patience the man watched as the Elder opened a single eye, the strange glow from beneath his skin diminishing but not fleeing completely.

“She has released them.” he said, his single open eye watching, waiting.

It was obviously not a question. Placing an envelope carefully on the desk, the delicate seal facing upwards the younger man looked unsurprised at the remark. But a hint of jealousy flashed through his pale blue eyes. As he reached out his hand to the envelope, the Elder’s eye never left the younger man, its dark depths a mark of the Elder’s purity. The seal bore two opposing crescent moons and a single full moon between them. It was the sign of an initiate, one trusted but of low rank. Seven moons in gold thread shined from the cloak covering the Elder’s breast. Only two crescents of silver hung from a necklace around the younger man’s neck, normally kept hidden when among the uninitiated.

A single finger slid beneath the seal, breaking the wax and lifting back the cover. A brief look at the letter merely confirmed words the Elder had already seen. Looking back at the youth, who was still waiting patiently before the desk the older man opened his other eye. The younger man’s eyelids blinked twice in rapid succession then stilled. It brought a smile to the Elder’s face, it had been some time since someone had reacted so calmly under his gaze. What glow remained beneath his skin abandoned him, its pigment returning to its natural almost white pallor. It did not diminish the glow that remained in his left eye, the eye that caused so many to flinch, to look away, to gasp in shock. The eye that was unnatural. What should be white was black, what should be black was white, and in opposition to his dark brown right eye, his left glowed with a deep red iris.

“She has made her choice, now we must make ours.” said the man, still watching the youth’s face for a sign of fear, “Summon the rest of the seven, they have a decision to make.”

Wordlessly the young man waited as the Elder’s eye closed once more. Behind him the hidden passage began to open once more. As he turned to leave the Elder’s voice came once more.

“There was something else.” said the Elder.

[Vashna]

Okay, part 2 of secrets prologue, still iffy, and I just wrote it tonight so it may be worse than the rest.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Pausing the youth was temporarily confused as to what the Elder meant, when he realised the answer his confusion did not lessen. Another message had come, but had been kept back from the Elder. It had been a personal request from the agent and treated as such, being sent to the initiate in charge of agents in that region. How the Elder could know of it was beyond him.

“There was a second message Elder Hiran, but it was just a personal request from the agent.” replied the man, “I’m sure it was nothing that requires your attention.”

“Do you know what was in the message?” asked Elder Hiran.

“No”

“Then why are you so worried about it?” questioned the Elder his brown eye gazing intently.

It took a couple of seconds for the man to take it all in. It was obvious now that the Elder had sensed his feelings. When the Elder’s eye closed he could sense everything around, and with both closed that sense only heightened. The younger man did not know how far those abilities could go, his own were nowhere near as developed. At the very least the Elder had read his body, determining his emotions from his heart rate and breathing patterns.

“She sent personal requests with her last four reports. And they were all requests to reveal herself and her purpose to an outsider.” replied the man.

“I take it that she meant this Murec she mentioned in her other reports?”

“Yes Elder”

“You may leave, but have those requests sent to me.” said Elder Hiran, as the initiate turned to go he added, “And if you are worried about something in regard to an agent or initiate in future, tell me. Your predecessor lost his post for specifically that reason.”

As he went to respond the Elder simply shut his eye, the glow that came from within his skin brighter than the candles. Watching him the man could almost feel the power emanating from the Elder, he had never seen any other pure blooded al’Hom use so much of the power, or any of the impure al’Hon like himself. The sheer magnitude of it was terrifying and intoxicating, closing his eyes he opened himself to his own power. As his sense of self faded and he began to feel his immediate surroundings, the Elder’s power washed over him. At first it felt calm, then it changed, buffeting his spirit, forcing him back until he could sense nothing. He opened his eyes to see the Elder watching him with a single eye.

As the door closed the man was already ten metres down the hall, running.

[Vashna]

Well I thought I might go back and try to finish off Sight, but I got sidetracked with other things, so only a couple of hundred words for now. On another note, I submitted a modified version of Peace for an assignment and critique at uni, despite my resevations about the piece I got some good feedback. So I am going to post the final submission version when I have rewritten it (due in 2 weeks).

Anyway, Sight Part 1.5 (really this is the smallest one yet so it doesn't deserve a full number.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Findai relaxed his hand, letting the man’s body slide down the wall. It had been remarkably easy to crush the windpipe, and the man had hardly struggled.

“Idiots and weaklings.” he muttered.

The new do’Blent lay before him, having lasted less than a week. His predecessor was the cause of Findai’s anger. A fool who not only failed to kill a woman who by all accounts had been helpless and instead managed to kill one of the highest ranking Ram in Nireslott. His world was crumbling around him all thanks to some witch.

At least she was blind now, but would that stop her? Findai looked around at his apartments, at what he would lose. It was strange, he hated this place with a passion, it was far too cold, and the women weren’t nearly as good. So why was he so angry?

Around him the results of his anger were quite clear. A deep hole in the back of the door where he had impaled the first messenger. The empty space on the floor where a bloodied rug had been removed. The bedroom was worse, the two women still there bleeding and weeping, but alive. The thought of them brought a smile back to his face, they still believed he would let them go. He wasn’t so stupid as to let them sprout tales that would hurt his family.

[Vashna]

Gah, another really short update. >>----> UNI (yup too much work to do writing so only a little for now)

For the few people who have been waiting patiently for me to get my but into gear you only have to wait a little longer. 2 1/2 weeks and I am free.

Sight update 1.75
------------------------------------------------------------------------
His thoughts turned back to the source of his anger, the do’Koret as she had taken to calling herself. He knew her purpose now, she wanted it all, al’Yurtani, al’Lek’do-Tesa and Nireslott. She might even want the world for all he knew, but that she wanted Nireslott was clear. The only thing that stood in her way was Findai’s family, religion would give her the power to seize control once they were gone. Too long had they allowed the prophecies to grow regarding the al’Blatha, the foolishness of his ancestors was driving him mad.

It was said that her eyes had changed now, that they had become unnatural. The first thing Findai had done was go to one of the secret libraries deep beneath the palace, so deep that it had taken him nearly an hour to go down the steps, the reverse journey had been like climbing a small mountain. The libraries were part of a large underground network that had belonged to the previous regime, more than a millennia gone now. He gave his family some credit for staying in power so long but that was as far as his praise would go.

Beneath al’Lek’do-Tesa and between what were once the great cities of what had been the empire that covered much of the world the underground network covered as more land than the entire city. How much was still unknown, all the outgoing tunnels had been flooded and the waters had frozen solid, the expansion causing the tunnels around the ice to collapse. Even if the ice had melted the tunnels were still blocked and beyond the ability of Nireslott to change. Long ago the people that became known as the al’Blatha had been subjugated by the empire. A pact was made, they helped the empire in exchange for continued freedom.

Findai had always wondered why such a powerful people would agree to work under another. He had found the answer among the secret histories. It was not that the people had been pacifists, or small in number, it was that the expansion of the empire was in their interests.

[Amberly]

okay I have to confess I'm a terriable person and I've just read all your stories (it hurt to read the computer screen sometimes)

heres my idea....combine Komindia and Periam.. one chapter/story about one then one chapter/story about the other ... make it a novel and have them become part of each others destiny somehow ... or not if I sound stupid ....

p.s. I like the name periam so I'm borrowing it for a roleplaying character

[Vashna]

heres my idea....combine Komindia and Periam.. one chapter/story about one then one chapter/story about the other ... make it a novel and have them become part of each others destiny somehow ... or not if I sound stupid ....

psst, Komindia events are around a decade on from Periam's current storyline. I am currently trying to work out the time situation so all the details fit in order properly.

since I created her, Komindia's role in everything has gotten bigger. Soon everything will become clear. And if you've read the prologue for my novel... well then Hiran's fate will too.

Trying to keep all the details and events for around 50-60 is a nice challenge. There is a lot more stuff to come before tha prologue actually happens, but how much of that I will tell is still in doubt. I don't want to spoil my book now do I?

Oh and on another note, for people who have trouble reading off computer screens, buy a higher dpi screen, (which means probably a flat panel). The reason that reading off computer screens is slower and less comfortable is because they run at around 72dpi. Whereas newer monitors can have upwards of 120dpi making it much easier.

Not that anybody really cares, I just like to mention it :).

[Amberly]

psst, Komindia events are around a decade on from Periam's current storyline.

so..does that really matter?



Oh and on another note, for people who have trouble reading off computer screens, buy a higher dpi screen, (which means probably a flat panel). The reason that reading off computer screens is slower and less comfortable is because they run at around 72dpi. Whereas newer monitors can have upwards of 120dpi making it much easier.

Not that anybody really cares, I just like to mention it :).


psst... I dont have a computer.. I have to use that one from work... but if I buy one I'll make sure to get a flat panel... :dozey: :p

[Vashna]

so..does that really matter?
Well I intend to bring them together, but I can't just jump 10 years, it gives away to much. Plus then I'd have to go back to explain some things, there are 1 or 2 major events left in that time, one of whwich should be pretty easy to figure out *cough* Peace *cough*. A few more stories and I should be able to bring them together. I already know the reason they will come together so it's going to happen.

Oh and my redraft of the 2nd prologue is coming along nicely. Once it is done you should get a much better picture of al'Lek'do-Tesa (as that is a major section of it).

I am beginning to think I may be making things a little too epic, but hey thats part of the fun. Thought up some new baddies... but thats for the books...

[Vashna]

Okay, here is part of the first draft of the prologue Farewells, although that name may change now that the concept has changed. At the moment it is pretty much just one looooong description of the city, and not very well done, bear in mind it is essentially a first draft (the book will be much better, I promise).

--------------------------------------------------------------
Prologue: (working title) Farewells

Upon a sea of snow sat the great city al’Lek’do-Tesa, an odd assortment of buildings, rubble, gilded temples and a immense cobalt blue palace that dwarfed everything in sight. The city was a clash of old and new, of tremendous beauty and pitiful simplicity. Ancient monuments sprouted from the ground everywhere, pitted from weather and broken from age and rebellion. Near the centre of the city the rich had reclaimed the land, rebuilding and repairing ancient manors and palaces. They had even created paved walkways lined with trees and free of snow. The middle of the city was a mix of disarray and new expansion from the centre. Homes built of stone scavenged from the ruins of buildings, pathways of dirt and sometimes stone, shanty’s leaning up against what remained of the great inner wall. Past the middle ring of poverty wealth seemingly rose once more, with old buildings rising once more.

Walled compounds where everywhere, some with their stone walls in disrepair, some home to squatters and some flying military flags with grounds empty of snow. There was one much larger than any other, a city unto itself. A great temple rose on a hill in the centre of the land, and a lone river passed through, surrounded by a small forest. Hundreds of dormitory like buildings were arrayed around the temple and on many levels. Without the mass of structures outside the compounds walls it would seem to be a city, except for the lack of women, children and merchants in its grounds. Military drills could be seen going on throughout the grounds.

Beyond the compounds more ruins lay in the few hundred feet before the middle wall, the remains of a reservoir the size of a lake lay abandoned, the water inside turning to ice had cracked it long ago, now a small glacier gradually melted onto the ground, having done so for centuries. Past the huge tower studded white wall were more military camps and farms everywhere, the soil outside the walls too difficult to grow anything in. Those walls were beyond massive, they were larger than anything within them save the blue marble palace. No siege weapon could breach them, they were too thick, no tunnel could be dug under them, the ground was stone, and no ladder could reach the top, they were too high. They had been built after the inner walls, their existence making the others unnecessary.

Those walls alone had survived the centuries, or millennia since the rebellion untouched. Not just undamaged but untouched. There was not a crack, nor a break in the wall, in fact it appeared to be one piece of stone, seamless and perfect. As far as anyone knew it had never been tested, no army had ever come that close to its creators.

From within the central spire of al’Carath-Seta-Blatha, she could see it all, laid out far below like a model. Fortunately it no longer took her breath away, at that altitude it took a while to recover. The Tower of a Thousand Blades, as it was called in the common tongue, rose thousands of feet above the city, and the city had been built in the mountains. At least thousands of years ago they had been mountains, now they were little more than hills. Of course the sea rising so far had not made the air any thicker.


---------------------------------------------------------
More to come soon. oh and I might reword the last bit, (to remove the bit about brethlessness, It seems to make it less serious)

Ed

I have a website where all this stuff is on, and some others. At the moment it is pretty much just me throwing what I have on there, but hopefully that will change.

The reason I mention this is because I now have a shorter redirecting webaddress, and a small forum and guestbook for comments.

vashnamedia.cjb.net (http://vashnamedia.cjb.net)

[Amberly]

vash I was inspired by your Periam Character.... here....
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v474/AmberlyStorm/jcj_angelav_amberly.jpghttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v474/AmberlyStorm/jcj_angelban_amberly.jpg

[Vashna]

Thanks for them amby. Speaking of which that gave me an idea.

Due to the fact that I am a completely inept artist in my own right (Oh I may be able to create stuff that looks good, but mostly not from scratch) I have not as yet seen any of my characters, scenery etc in the flesh.

One major problem I am facing is putting down the images in my head. So I am asking for anyone, if anyone other than the select few that I know of reads this, that is a capable artist who would like to, to help me out.

For those who do, well you get some inside information...

On another note I have been rather lax in my writing recently (I read 4-5 books over the last few days so I have an excuse). However, I will have the end of Sight for Friday. Promise.


If Sight has not been finished by Friday, Vashna/Rb will not be held responsible, the events will have been outside his control. That is all.

[Night_Daughter]

I thought that I posted in a reply to your writing earlier but I guess I didnt, so I'll just say right now that I'm looking forward to the next part, and if it isn't up by Friday I'll have to send you to Team Evil. ;) *ignores Vashna's disclaimer* I would help with the drawing but I failed my art class because the apple I was supposed to draw turned out like a deformed alien head, so I doubt you would want my help.

[Vashna]

Okay so I promised to have the end of sight up today and I have met that promise, although I have to admit this is not one of my better pieces of writing (in fact some of it is downright terrible, and there are certain parts (the sheets bit) that I really would like to be forgotten quickly).

At the moment I don't really know what to do next so I would like people to respond, I probably won't come up with a new story for a little while though. But I will write something for my other new thread so don't worry.

Okay first post is the last bit of Findai from 1.75 and the new Findai bit.


Sight Part 1.75+
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Beneath al’Lek’do-Tesa and between what were once the great cities of what had been the empire that covered much of the world the underground network covered as more land than the entire city. How much was still unknown, all the outgoing tunnels had been flooded and the waters had frozen solid, the expansion causing the tunnels around the ice to collapse. Even if the ice had melted the tunnels were still blocked and beyond the ability of Nireslott to change. Long ago the people that became known as the al’Blatha had been subjugated by the empire. A pact was made, they helped the empire in exchange for continued freedom.

Findai had always wondered why such a powerful people would agree to work under another. He had found the answer among the secret histories. It was not that the people had been pacifists, or small in number, it was that the expansion of the empire was in their interests. :D NEW :D The al’Blatha’s ancestors had existed for longer than any other known race or organisation, and had one purpose. Evolution.

Within the vast libraries was all the knowledge discovered by the al’Blatha’s ancestors. The few scholars that Findai’s family had allowed down there had been unable to grasp much of it and the rest they had dismissed as heresy. Such was the problem with ruling a people through religion, they became so devout anything that challenged them was heresy. The do’Majat had himself read several of the books but he was the first to admit that he were no scholar. However in the books there had been some reference to “introducing new blood”. Findai assumed from what he had learnt that the new blood they sought had somehow been outside their reach and the Empire had provided a solution.

It was shattering to think of those ancients with even more power than they already possessed. It was a shame that power couldn’t be harnessed, the al’Blatha were mere shadows of the past. Although the few references he could find to red eyes did disturb him. From what he could gather only a select few could access the power it represented, and most not until much later in life. Periam wasn’t unique though, Findai himself was partly to blame. “Severe emotional trauma” it said, just what that idiot Shadow had given her.

“What kind of name is Shadow anyway?” he said to himself. “Maybe he should have chosen Dark or Black. The next idiot that comes up with a name like that will get to eat his own tongue.”

“Talking to yourself again I see.”

Findai recognised his father’s voice, but still it took some effort not to turn and rip the old man’s head from his shoulders.

“Do mind yourself dear father, I have made an awful mess and we wouldn’t want your coat to get dirty.” Findai replied. The hom’Holek’s reaction brought a smile to his face. “Watch out now, that one’s still leaking.”

As the old ruler’s face slowly turned the colour of the corpse Findai made his way through the destruction to stand before his father. The stress had been getting to the old sod, his face looked like Findai’s bed-sheets, creased, crumpled and stained. The rings around his eyes made him look like one of the whore’s that littered the rougher parts of the city. Briefly the do’Majat wondered if he squealed like them too. It was a struggle to contain his amusement at the thought, and he missed much of what his father said.

“… so we’re going to invite her for talks.” the hom’Holek finished.

That quickly dampened Findai’s mood. “Not only are you going to allow her to be the first Blatha to leave the compound in centuries, but you are bringing her here. Are you totally mad, she might have the power to burn this place to the ground now, and you are inviting her here?”

His hand swept out before he knew what he was doing and his father was thrown back, sprawling atop the body of the late do’Blent. Findai looked at his hand, seeing blood dripping from the dagger he still held. For a moment Findai was at a loss, trying to work out how the blood had got there, how the weapon had not been wrenched from his grasp. It should have been impossible, but yet there it was still in his hand. It was not until he heard a gurgling sound that he looked at his father. Disappointment flowed through him, he had not even had time to make his father scream.

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[Amberly]

I suck at art..but I can find pictures and change them with my computer.... or if its beyond me I know other people who can...


good story btw.. more more...now ;)

[Vashna]

Outside her room the acolyte guards were talking, she could see them and feel the cold night air on their skin. Periam could see the tomb where Corneil lay at rest. She could see her people, asleep in there beds, feel the blood flowing through their veins and the air in their lungs. She could feel animals, birds, dogs, stray cats. She could soar with owls them and see through their eyes as their talons closed around their prey. She could even feel the talons.

But the one place Periam wanted to reach was still to far away. Through others eyes she could see the palace, and it would feel as if it were in her grasp but every time she reached out it would slip away. It was like trying to grab water with her hands, she always caught a little, but it soon slipped through the fingers of her mind. Still she could not complain. Her new eyes allowed her a clarity that she had not known before, and she could see again, in a fashion.

Her eyes were still useless. It was doubtful they would ever return to normal. But her new eyes allowed her to see what other people and creatures saw. Her inner sight allowed her to see differently, but with the aid of her new eyes, she could combine it with what other people around her saw and reproduce her own eyesight. Or at least she hoped she could, after all she had only started several hours ago.

She could feel everything in the compound now, every little detail. It was as if losing one type of sight had simply enhanced her other. As dawn came she watched it through the eyes of everything that could see it. Periam felt her own body smile, and she watched, never having been so happy to see the sun. Her subconscious catalogued the fact that she could now feel herself while using her inner sight as well, but she was oblivious in her joy.

Pulling back she rose to her feet, the fact that she could move unlike before barely registering on her mind. She made her way to the closet by feel, getting dressed blind was difficult, but getting the acolytes to come in so she could use their eyes was something she was not willing to do. She had already heard them discussing her last night and felt the results.

As she waited behind the door she let the more childish part of her mind plan it all out. Somehow the prank loving part of her always managed to find a way to awe people. So when she opened the door and her inner sight combined with that of the acolytes she merely looked at each and nodded and kept walking. True to their duties they followed, each glancing to the other repeatedly, almost ruining her new sight each time. Stepping into the temple’s main hall she almost stumbled as thousands of different perspectives came to her, along with what each person felt. It was as if she was everyone of them, and she almost lost herself. It took effort but she drew her sight closer, keeping it locked on the acolytes.

Eyes followed her and murmuring began despite the rules. Yet another miracle centred on her. As Periam took her seat she let her inner sight expand once more, gradually taking in more and more of the people, feeling the awe and the belief that radiated from them. For the first time since it all began she was certain that what she was doing was right.

From the back of the hall a messenger came forward, approaching the do’Ram with a sealed envelope. When it was passed to her Periam handed it back, face unchanged. As the Priest read it, so did she.

To the do’Koret-Blatha Periam and the do’Ram of the Temple of the hom’Lek Nires in the al’Blatha Compound.

Today is a day of mourning, the hom’Holek is now in service of Nires. He passed at the hands of the former do’Majat Findai whose name is to be stricken from the Temple’s records. The mourning cycle is to continued for seven months, as is required by Temple law. When the cycle has ended the do’Koret is requested to attend the final ceremony in al’Yurtani.

On a more personal note, I was deeply saddened to hear of the death of the late do’Ram Corneil. While the investigation is a matter of the Temple, my late husband’s enquiries have led me to believe that Findai ordered the assassination attempt. He was confronting Findai on that matter when he was killed. It is my hope that we can put this behind us and move forward. The arrangements to meet the do’Koret were already being planned, but the death of my husband has made the delay necessary.

The letter was signed, hom’Halek, the woman now in charge of the Royal Caste. Periam thought on the matter as the do’Ram began to tell the congregation of what had happened. Some people wept openly, it was a wakeup call to her, she was not yet powerful enough to take control if the Royals were to die. Perhaps talks would be good. It would buy some time for her power, both political and mystical to grow.

Eventually she too spoke, speaking on how the hom’Holek would be missed, but that he was now in the service of Nires. She kept her own agenda out of it as much as possible, but planted seeds that would grow eventually. When she was done she sat once more, wondering how to pass the next seven months.

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Sight is now finished *phew* and comes in at a total of 3,152 words which makes it the LONGEST one yet. Yes it's even 49 words longer than Blood. Oh and for those who have any complaints about the quality, I wrote 1400 words of that today in less than two hours so leave me alone.

[Vashna]

Okay so next is either going to be a Periam story, probably with a recap of the 7 months leading up to the meeting, and the meeting itself. I'm going to have to think up some new characters for it, what with Corneil a pile of ash (I did have him cremated right?), Findai having been ____ (RAFO) and the hom'Holek dying at the hands of his very deranged son. Speaking of which how many people think Findai is well done, or do I have to put in some more reasons as to why he is how he is?

The other story possibilty is a continuation of the Komindia Hiran story, which might explain why Hiran shows up in the prologue to my novel, or not, either one. It would also link back to Periam and what she is up to. Possible new character introduction in this one as well.

Please respond, cause lets face it, I can never make up my mind and hearing your responses is what motivates me to write more. (so if you want more then start buggin me about it and you'll get it faster)

And for the people who haven't read all of the stories, then download the following file, all the stories combined (note: does not include prologues etc) into one file. (speaking of which it comes to 14000+ words, hopefully it will top 20000 after the next 2).

http://users.tpg.com.au/adsl3irf/pages/writing/ab_saga.rtf

[Night_Daughter]

*grumbles* I still wish you hadn't killed Corneil, but I see why it was nessecary. So far, I think its really well done. I like how she can see and fel through other peoples senses.

[Vashna]

Okay, from now on this thread is just g