yup, bored again

[James]

This is my second reflections thread (so far). I deleted my last one because I became sick of it. Chances are the same thing will happen this time but that doesn't worry me too much. "The wheel weaves as the wheel wills" so the saying goes. I think. It's been a long time since I even gazed upon one of RJ's books. Seems strange that they were the reason I first visited to this site. Come for the WoT and stay for the Wotists I guess :)

[James]

only 21 hours left till I get my car. man I can't wait. the only thing that might slo me down now is trying to get it home without getting pulled over by the cops. I don't have my license you see so that could be embarrassing. but once I'm home I'm sweet. then I'll get my license. just in case. i don't think i really need it, I've been driving for years and it's never been an issue. but you never know.

I think my brain pills are working. my thoughts seem marginally clearer anyhow. very marginally. I often wonder if I'm not completely mad. probably I am. If I were rich I could call it eccentricity. maybe I should get rich. hmmmm.

back to the car thing. I love my car. it rocks. I did end up spending a little more than I had originally planned (well.. twice as much to be truthful) and I've diminished my savings by nearly three quarters yet it was worth it. I'm gonna take it home with me to new zealand. at the end of the year. thart's the plan anyway. me and my mate are gonna rent a house maybe with some other mates and party lots. yep, big plans. then I'm gonna get rich and buy a big, no make that sprawling, manor in the country and a huge mass of land and I'll have maids and cooks and stablehands and the villiagers on my land will call me Lord James *lastname*. huuuge plans.

http://www.churchwell.co.uk/images/waddesdon-manor-gardens.jpg

[James]

http://images.ucomics.com/comics/ga/2003/ga030622.gif

[James]

well I made it home. in my car. which i love :love: *hugs car*

it needs a decent stereo though. major subs and amp. might lower it a bit as well and throw on some mags. but that can wait. *hugs car some more* oh, and I'll have to have it sprayed black eventually. gotta match it with my clothes see :)

work sucked boring-ass today. I got to do some welding for like the third time ever which was good but otherwise there was not a lot to do so I sat around day dreaming (normally I walk around/work while day dreaming)

car salesmen are shifty buggers aren't they? I'm fairly suspicious by nature anyhow but these guys I really don't trust in the slightest. must be their eyes. and the fact that they keep screwing people over. or something :dozey:

[James]

http://www.comics.com/comics/getfuzzy/archive/images/getfuzzy21219590030623.gif

[James]

<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/A/arachniabat/1046920542_OfGothgoth.jpg" border="0" alt="Goth"><br>Goth
<br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/arachniabat/quizzes/What%20Kind%20of%20Goth%20Are%20You%3F/"> <font size="-1">What Kind of Goth Are You?</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>


I'm gonna make a 'Which Wotist are you' quiz :D (seriously)

[James]

Originally posted by James
I'm gonna make a 'Which Wotist are you' quiz :D (seriously)

Slowly getting there. I'd be done by now if my connection hadn't decided to pick tonight of all nights to slow down. But I'm perservering (for once) and I should be done this time tomorow.

In other news the local tv station is showing new episodes of the simpsons. Except that they're not new because I seen them last year in NZ. Not necessarily a bad thing because I think the next episode is the one where Homer gets prescription marijuana and that's gotta be one of if not the funniest episode ever.

I think I'm getting out of shape :( Too much sitting around in the loader at work and in front of this thing. I'll have to think about going to the gym. Most likely I will but when will depend on when I get my license. I don't feel like risking making the drive into town twice a week. Cops would notice eventually (this is a small place).

My sister might be coming over for a holiday. I'd be tempted to warn her against it if I didn't miss her so much. It sucks here as I've mentioned a thousand times before but it's been like a year since I've seen her which is like the longest ever. Last xmas was the first we spent apart also. Was weird.

I need a girlfriend. And I'm gonna get one. Soon. Real soon. Shouldn't be too hard if I remember correctly. All I had to do the last time was get mildly drunk and she came to me. All the women in my life have come to me actually. I'm not much of one for persuing. Maybe I'm just lazy :)


oh yeah one more thing. I love my car! :D :love:

[James]

Well I found out where my cat has been. The old lady who lives a few houses down from me has adopted him. Or he's adopted her. Can't really say. But that's nice. She can't get out much because of her hip so my cat keeps her company now and that makes me feel kinda warm and fuzzy inside :)

*forgives traitorous cat*

[James]

Tori Amos - Scarlet's Walk

if you're a thought
you will want me
to think you
and i did invite
a guest up until
you announced
you had moved in
"what do you plan to do with all your freedom?"
the new sheriff said,
quite proud of his badge
"you must admit the land is now in good hands"
yes, time will tell
that you just lift your lamp

i will follow her on her path
scarlet's walk through the voilets
just tell your gods for me
all debts are off this year
they're free to leave
yes they're free to leave
leaving terra leaving terra

there was a time
when i thought
that her destiny
should've been mine
big brave nation
but instead her medicine
now forgotten
"what do you plan to do with all your stories"
the new sheriff said,
quite proud of his badge
we'll weave them through
every rocket's red glare
and huddled masses
you just lift your lamp
i will follow.
if you're a thought
you will want me
to think you
and i did and did.

[James]

<img src="http://images.quizilla.com/V/vinacross/1045377395_StuffTired.gif" border="0" alt="Tired"><br>You're too tired to be bothered with smiling,but<br>you're too nice to be really mean when people<br>are annoying you.You look tired,but you at<br>least try to seem happy.
<br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/vinacross/quizzes/What%20Kind%20of%20Smile%20are%20You%3F/"> <font size="-1">What Kind of Smile are You?</font></a><BR> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font>

[James]

dark eyes lonely eyes of the
sandmen, cloudy skies
bubblewrap underfoot
tickles don't it
prickles don't it

red eyes burning eyes of the
bouldermen, falling sky
broken glass underfoot
tickles don't it
prickles don't it

*sighs*

It's been such a long day. I ate masses of seafood and chips for lunch. My sister is flying over next week for a short holiday. I'm voluntarily paying for her flight. I spent five hours on the phone to my friend talking, sharing musical discoveries and writing poetry. We also re-formed our band and made plans to get a maid for our house when I return. Didn't take back the dvd's that I hired last night because the police were staking out the roads near the video store. Keith is getting fired from work because he continues to turn up late and leave early. And I'm happy. So happy and so so tired. *nods off*

[James]

I just had one of those terrifying moments where you think about Everything. You know the one, when you're lying there and you start thinking about life, the reasons behind it, then the universe and how it's made and why it exists... and it just capitulates into one horribly overwhelming moment of thought and feeling and incredible awe and it really freaks you out? *shudders* I hate it when that happens :grumbles:

[James]

:eek: I've found the coolest site and they have so many things to buy and so far I only have a belt and a flask in my shopping cart but I'm looking at buckles and pendants and rings and they're all sooo beautiful and I'm totally gonna spend what I've allocated for spending over the next month or two. oh man :(
http://www.gothicshop.net/vvs-tn/N184.jpg

edit: Ha, I'm not so easily suckered into buying things these days. Ended up with just the flask and the pendant pictured above. The rest can wait :)

[James]

don't talk to me 'cause I'm not better than you, don't look at me 'cause you'll see right through me... maybe this means we'll be happy

muahaha. I love outsmarting the government ;)

But foget that, I have something slightly more interesting to talk about. Today I diagnosed myself as having Bi-Polar Disorder. I have all the symptoms (according to a newspaper article :umm: ) and I've diagnosed my best friend as having it too. So simple to play at doctor. The main symptom that caught my attention was the tendency of sufferers of this illness to make grandiose plans. This absolutely fits me perfectly. Mad schemes are a part of my life, I've been doing it for as long as I can remember. The rest of the symptoms (the highs and lows etc.) are also things I 'suffer' from. Maybe I should see a real doctor about it but I'm not sure if I care enough to do something about it. And I'm in good company anyhow. Van Gogh lived with it and so did some comedian guy whose name escapes me right now. Bi-Polar isn't a very cool name though. They should have stuck with 'Manic Depression.' I don't mind being labelled manic or depressed or loony. Oh I have to go now, tax returns to be filing and stuff.

[James]

Giles: Alright, well I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the 12th century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy while you take in dinner and a show
Buffy: Okay at this point you're abusing sarcasm


:love:

[James]

That whole curiosity killed the cat thing.. we're really falling right into that one aren't we? And can someone remind me as I grow older to save something for my family and kids if I make the mistake of having any. I hope technology takes me somewhere where there isn't any and where black overcoats grow on trees.

James

[James]

My sis doesn't know that I'm paying for her flight over here (&back) Nor does mum. Actually the only other person who knows is dad and he's too broke to do anything about it. This is a good thing in so many ways and I don't intend on telling them. Any person who reads this should also keep it a secret :umm:

I'm gonna go for my license someytime in the next couple of weeks. That's the second stage of my learners license :dozey: Ought to be pretty easy since I've been driving for so long. Have to do it through the local police because of the remoteness of this place. This doesn't bother me much except that they'll know from that point on that I'm the guy with the red V8 and so I'll have to be extra sneaky when driving around by myself.

Rural television sucks. The channel that shows Buffy here has been playing repeats the last few weeks when they should be playing the rest of the final season. Goddamn fish-merchants :grumbles:

I wonder if Vampires are real? It bothers me that on her website Anne Rice never outright confirms their existence and yet never outright says that they don't exist either. I'd like to be a Vampire, but I think the mere sight of one would scare me to death which would kinda limit my chances of geting the 'Dark Gift' I have the perfect mentality to be one otherwise. Or at least I think so and what else matters?

So there's like 14 guests online. Or there was 5 minutes ago. The other day I was seeing who was online and what they were doing and one guest was checking out the user control panel which is so stupid. And he/she stayed there for like half an hour. Crazy non-wotists

:love:

(Shouldn't you have said what you meant.. Oh)

[James]

Boredom is dangerous. Boredom will likely be the death of me one day

say something: silence, nothing
mutter under your breath sweetly
I don't have the means to show you
I don't have the words to tell you no

fire's burning
candle's burning
your head turns to whisper sweetly
I don't want to end this moment
I don't want to ever let you go

I wrote a letter today. I rarely write letters. Now I have to write another so someone doesn't feel neglected. Why do clouds look so painted? Of all natural things, clouds seem the most unnatural. Still beautiful but they just do not look real. I'm gonna buy a stereo for my car this week. A sony. I like sony. And I need some socks but they wont be sonies. If you squint your eyes and look at a light bulb you can see rays of light streaking out from it. Or at least I can. Maybe you're different to me. Maybe you're not as confused as I am. Maybe maybe maybe. I could go for a little certainty right now. Bye

James ( :love: )

[James]

I'm downloading the movie 'Ken Park' at the moment. Yeah the one that's currently banned in Australia. Fucking fish-merchant classifiers :grumbles: It's been a couple of months since I've seen a new-ish movie so I figured if I'm gonna watch something it would be cool if that something was illegal to watch :dozey: I really don't know much about the movie but from what I heard on triple j it sounds fascinating. So it's not just the illegality of it, there is some genuine interest in the movie itself. Honestly :) Had some revelations today but they were pretty old hat. Same one's I had last month and the month before that and so on. I need something more than a revelation, I need something more like a proverbial kick up the ass. What I need it for I'm not sure but maybe it'll make life more interesting. :)

Oh and my pendant and flask arrived today. From Here. (http://www.varneysvampirestore.com/v3/quick-cat/cat_index.asp) Good store. Silly name but such a good store :)

[James]

http://us.st5.yimg.com/store4.yimg.com/I/demotivators_1737_4602411
:love:

[James]

Okay, I've been thinking. I need to stop being so weird. And, ah, that's about it.

James

[James]

enkindled eyes contemplating mine worldly form through the lack-lustre lens of a windshield. bearing no notion as to what these fiendish orbs may perceive in a material cast, what cloven-footed credo it's deviance might entertain, I wave away potential heteroclite and brave a stormy celestial sphere, a raging torrent apt for drowning chance fellowship. cumbersome step after ponderous footfall I carve an artery amid the deluge, moonbeams the solitary brightening of the way. a likeness in this widespread niagara, I muse, of my erstwhile existence, and well nigh an epitomy of the inescapable morrow

[James]

http://images.ucomics.com/comics/ch/1992/ch920715.gif
http://www.comics.com/comics/chickweed/archive/images/chickweed2052269030715.gif
me=feline

[James]

"There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action."
-Johann von Goethe

"Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them."
-Walter Kerr

[James]

my head is spinning. and it hurts. and I'm tired as hell. work is gonna be so much fun today :rolleyes: see kids, this is watch you get when you stay up late watching harry potter movies (seriously) :dozey:

[James]

you dream alone tonight, lie to the lambs and sleep with the wolves, in the dead of night shear your self with a golden blade, speaking graffitti with the merchant men you say this is romanticisation but even your mouth is a piece of the bankers illusion

We just had a massive long powercut. Was nice. I lit heaps of candles, fire was already going, got out the minidisc and speakers to put on some Tool and laid back in lazy boy. Also tried to cook noodles on top of fireplace but by the time the water boiled the power had come back on :dozey: :)

Those Harry Potter movies were prettty good. I'm going to have to read the books now

[James]

I came here on time
Hope that it's not too late
Seen you at night
Biting the frost of silence
Can you cure us of this fate?
Mock the litany in it's face
Is it you Moatilliata?
~The Mars Volta

[James]

couldn't post. left. picked up sis from perth. came back. can post. it's a vicious cycle (the non-posting I mean) mmm, chocolate :)

[James]

I had a crazy dream last night. I wont go into details, but the bit that really stuck in my mind was me pretending to be or acting like a snooty Frenchman :D The rest revolved around work, and speaing of work (smooth, Semaj) I put in a 15 hour day(!) on friday. Man I'm still hurting especially from when I fell off the side of the mill and landed on my ass on part of a motor. My sister is here as I may have mentioned and I think she's slowly starting to realise just how much it sucks here. I told her before she came of course but whatever. Hopefully she wont be suckered into staying as long as I have ;) Ooh, and I got pulled over by the cops yesterday. Only for a breath test thank god otherwise it woulda been a massive fine for no proper license and having passengers and no L plates on. Um. Yep, that's all.

[James]

Old George Orwell got it backward.
Big Brother isn't watching. He's singing and dancing. He's pulling rabbits out of a hat. Big Brother's busy holding your attention everymoment you're awake. He's making sure you're always distracted. He's making sure you're fully absorbed.
He's making your imagination wither. Until it's as useful as your appendix. He's making sure your attention is always filled.
And this being fed, it's worse then being watched. With the world always filling you, no one has to worry about what's in your mind. With everyone's imagination atrophied, no one will ever be a threat to the world.

-from Chuck Palahniuk's book 'Lullaby.' Finished it in one sitting and it's brilliant. Hugely complex also, far more so than Fight Club I think, and I'm still really getting to grips with it. And while I'm on the subject..

Throughout human history, as our species has faced the frightening, terrorizing fact that we do not know who we are, or where we are going in this ocean of chaos, it has been the authorities, the political, the religious, the educational authorities who attempted to comfort us by giving us order, rules, regulations, informing, forming in our minds their view of reality. To think for yourself you must question authority and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable, open-mindedness; chaotic, confused, vulnerability to inform yourself.

Think for yourself.
Question authority. ~Timothy Leary

[James]

I learnt a valuable lesson today. I learnt that dirt is not the hardest thing in the world to shovel; tonnes upon tonnes of steel balls the size of your fist is. I also learnt that it's hard to swing a sledgehammer when your arms are numb from shovelling steel balls and your hands are covereed in CRC. So I am older and wiser. And in a lot more pain. Joy :)

[James]

Rage Against The Machine - Born Of A Broken Man

My fears hunt me down
Capturing my memories
The frontier of loss
They try to escape across the street where
Jesus stripped bare
And raped the spirit he was supposed to nurture
In the name of my
In the name of my

Born of a broken man
But not a broken man
Born of a broken man
Never a broken man

Like autumn leaves
His sense fell from him
An empty glass of himself
Shattered somewhere within
His thoughts like a hundred moths
Trapped in a lampshade
Somewhere within
Their wings banging and burning
On through endless nights
Forever awake he lies shaking and starving
Praying for someone to turn off the light

Born of a broken man
Never a broken man
Born of a broken man
But not a broken man

My fears hunt me down
Capturing my memories
The frontier of loss
They try to escape across the street where
Jesus stripped bare
And raped the spirit he was supposed to nurture
In the name of my
In the name of my

Born of a broken man
But not a broken man
Born of a broken man
Never a broken man

[James]

hehe. I'm such self-loving melodramatic fool at times. and look at that scruffy hair. crazy :)

http://quizilla.com/user_images/J/Jacomus/1059652883_esDSC01061.jpg

I think I should be a photographer *nods* I've always wanted to be a wildlife photographer but I could probably branch out. I mean look at that photo. it's brilliant! :D well... maybe not but I love taking photos. I can spend hours just taking photos of myself and when I actually get outside I go mad. It's one of the few things I could have a passion for and do for a living. that, and badminton, the only sport I have ever enjoyed and I was good too for the few months that I played :dozey: :) So why, I wonder, if I enjpoy these things so much, why am I not doing them? why am I not persuing my interests? Don't know. It might have something to do with me always doing things the hard way, or the other thing where I do nothing and wait for things to happen. Either, eIther. Hmmm. This requires some thought I think *leaves*

[James]

I've had about enough of this goddamn computer. I spend way too much time on it. Time to give it a good rest, start using it considerably less. Like tv. All I watch on tv these days is buffy and any decent cartoons. Both tv and computer exert too much control over me. So yep, gonna be around even less than before, which is in no way a bad thing *wanders off*

[James]

words cannot describe how drunk I got last night. I swear to god I'm never drinking again :dozey: :grumbles:

[James]

Pretty typical day today. Woke up, checked the pigeons to see if I had any new messages. Lord Calvin & Ser Hobbes from Dayliecomicks had sentt an amusing but pointless anecdote and there was little else of interest, so I bathed dressed myself in silks and went to the kitchen to get some breakfast. Damned cook had slept in again, no doubt she'd been up late last night drinking, so had to settle for leftovers. Fed the Griffons- one of them has laid an egg so we might have a chick soon which would be nice. Ther numbers have been greatly depleted lately, mostly thanks to the Dragon which attacked the keep last year. Trined for a few hours in the courtyard, then went for a ride in the hills by myself. It was very peaceful. Spent the rest of the day reading by the fire and trying to make advances on the washerwoman (I was unsuccesful, as usual :dozey: ) An envoy from my Lady Mother arrived in the late evening. She sent her regards and asked if I would be visiting her soon. I may jst, it has been over a year since I saw her and the rest of my family, and no doubt my sister would like the opportunity to go with me, even though it has only been a short time since she came to stay it is very dull here and mayhaps she will not make the return journey.= with me. Perhaps I may not either. I miss the old lands and I have some land there where I could build a new home. Hmmm.

(I've been searching for so long for something to)

[James]

Originally posted by James
words cannot describe how drunk I got last night. I swear to god I'm never drinking again :dozey: :grumbles:

*takes a swig of gin from the bottle*

drinking gin straight out of the bottle is kinda like mine and sebastians trademark thing. no, it's a tradition. our tradition. we stole the idea from many a rap verse but it's still ours. man did I get drunk as hell when I posted that though. I went to the pub with my sister and started drinking vodka & lemonade. then I was like, this isn't working quickly enough and these barmaids are smiling lot's at me so I need to loosen up so I switched to gin and lemonade. after that it gets a bit blurry. I remember doing shooters of some kind. lots of shooters. and I remember playing pool and singing loudly. oh, and there's this kid who's like ten years old and occaisionally he's at the pub with his mum and I always when I see him play him on this rally arcade game and he always beat me but I finally beat him once that night. yeah. I remember the pub closing. it was about 11:30 I think cause I was going up to the bar to buy yet another gin and the barmaid was like, sorry, we're closing, only takeaways now and I was like (thinking)hmmm. little early? oh well. so I bought 3 vodka cruisers (god knows why) and staggered home with sister and dad in tow. then I fell on my bed and passed out. then I spewed. I remember it but I was so out of it it was like I was asleep. so I think I rolled over and passed out again. oh, yeah, barmaids. there's a couple of new barmaids and I like one of them so I might go back tomorrow or whenever. and sharlene is still around, still trying to get my attention. maybe I should relent. she's kinda nice. definitely good looking. and short. short is always good I feel but I don't really know why. must be a male ego superiority thing or something. oh and I finally got to see the final ever episode of buffy. and yes, it was crap. but I know why. yeah. Joss done it on purpose. that's right, he purposely made the last series not good. the reasons are there if you think deeply enough/ 10% of me is still heartbroken that it sucked but at least I know why. and I'm not going to say why. if you can't figure it out it doesn't matter, it still works, and if you figure it out yourself it works. if I tell someone it doesn't work

[James]

whoah, mass influx of posts in reflctions today


My sisters horse gave me rope burn, damn her (the horse). After spending about three hours getting her into the float (again, the horse, not my sister), we took her to the paddock to unload her. I wandered into the float and my sister gave me the rope attactched to her bridle (horse :rolleyes: ) and told me to back her out slowly. I was like yeah, cool, so I pulled the rope back a bit rubbing her neck to keep her calm (the horse! :eek: ) and she took a step back and I was like, yeah sweet and then whoosh! she went flying backwards out the float and reared up and kicked etc. Suspecting that if I let go of the rope she would run away (horse and prolly sister as well come to think of it) I put on the mad grips, just managing to hold onto it but it scraped along my hand and hurt like hell and gave me rope burn. But I'm recovered now but very hungry cause I haven't eaten all day. This is becoming a bad habit which I need to stop.

[James]

I hav a wicked-bad migraine. Shouldn't even be on computer

[James]

ooh, but I'm over my cold/flu thing which is very good. had a fucked up sleep last night. crazy irrational dreams with way too much thought going on and I tossed and turned and slipped in and out of sleepness all night. never really stopped dreaming thoguh, whether I was awake or not. then I woke up and somene had hammered a steel spike into my brain. well that's what it felt like :(

[James]

I have this theory. A theory a that some or probably many species of living creatures on this earth are pre-programmed to die out. Like how certain cells in our bodies are programmed to die. Well, if we think of the earth as one giant (and evolving) living organism, as some people do, then it's quite possible that this might be the case. I got the idea from something I read and posted a while ago, and it had to do with the Y chromosome which males have which is sort of dying itself and will eventually lead to the extinction of men. In any other species this could possibly wipe them out (and it could have wiped us out if it had happened sooner. Maybe something similar happened to the dinosaurs? Maybe the earth-organism killed them off, evolved beyond them for whatever reason. But were they programmed to die right from the beginning or was it something that came later on in their evolution. Probably later on I think. So maybe the Earth is trying to kill us off, because we're upsetting the balance so badly or maybe we've served our purpose or will have soon. Or maybe it just wants to kill all men cause we're so much more violent and destructive than women and it knows that women can survive without us now. I wonder what it would do if it failed to kill us off by this method?

Oh. My avy. It's me! ( :rolleyes: ) I'm silently commemorating the fact that my hair, after much hard growing, is now officially shoulder length. I think I'll let it grow an inch or 2 more and keep it at that length :)

Work sucks

[James]

and who says when you're you can't.. crivens *falls asleep*
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

j: How may fates turn around in the overtime?
s: just one
j: hmm. the maiden?
s: indubitably
j: and if saturn ascends?
s: well, assuming the sandman is dead..
j: yes?
s: pain.
j: bugger

[James]

and the lions gathered round,
to tell stories of the dreamtime.
no-one heard the trees in the night,
as they cried for the life they sheltered.
we the demons waved our swords,
oblivious in our desire.

[James]

ghosts in reflections
sleepless dream
eyes black and hollow
hands to heal
heat to heal
shifting shadows
lamp post light
already had and unrelenting
hands not healing
heat repealing
wander night alone

[James]

What if I was a cat, and I didn't know it? What if I just thought I was human? What if something in me so hotly denied my catness and embraced the idea of humanness that it changed how I perceive my reality? So are all my interactions with humans imagined? When I eat at the table, am I actually drinking milk from a saucer? When I go to work am I simply out hunting? Good god, what am I really doing when I'm having sex? So many questions. I think I need a nap.

*meow*

[James]

There was this cat once who thought he was a human. In his mind he was a human male and he would do the things that human men do and he even thought purely human thoughts. To everyone else he was just a cat. Still, there wasn't a single part of him that knew what he really was. No hint or glimmer of knowledge in his mind that he wasn't a person, but a cat. He never found out. He died, in his mind, a human, at the ripe old age of 76 (and his owners buried him in the garden). He died happy, happier than most real people do.

[James]

Black raised his glass, closed his eyes and took a sip of the beer. It was warm, and tasted like nail polish. It was good. He tried to go back in his mind to the first time he had drunk beer that tasted like nail polish. Finding that he couldn't recall, he bean to wonder if he ever actually had before. It didn't matter, he supposed, as he took another sip. It was good, and, after a bit of experimentation, he discovered that if he bit the rim of the glass and sucked the liquid between his teeth, it much was like sucking on his tips of his wifes' fingers. Except that his wife had never worn nail polish, he remembered suddenly. He wondered where his wife was, and with the thought he took a long draught of the beer, which seemed to have got cold all of a sudden. Black shivered, drained the rest of the glass and opened his eyes. He was mildly surprised to see his wife sitting at the other end of the table.
"Good beer?" she asked.
"Tastes like nail polish," Black replied quietly, and a little curtly.
"And just how is it that you know what nail polish tastes like?"
He frowned. He wasn't entirely sure, to be honest.
"What do you want?"
He poured another beer from the jug, very pointedly not offering his wife one, raised the glass, closed his eyes and took a sip, not really caring if she answered or not.
"What do I want?!"
She pratically hissed it. Probably through her teeth.
"Thirty-five years and that's all you have to say to me! Not even a 'How are you?' After all I've done from you, and you just ask what I want and shut your eyes to me and drink your fucking beer! Open your eyes, damn you, and look at me!"
Black sighed. Had she aways been so dramatic? He opened his eyes. She looked much the same as she had when he had last seen her. A little less attractive, if that was even possible. He hadn't chosen her for her good looks. No, quite the opposite actually. When choosing a wife, he had figured, it is best to choose one whom other men wont be tempted to steal away, thus increasing your chances of keeping a wife.
If all women were like my wife I would have picked a prettier one in the hope that someone would steal her away, he thought ruefully. But then what would be the point of having a wife at all? Best to stay away from women altogether he decided.
"Go away, you cursed wench," he said flatly, in an attempt to turn his ideas into reality.
"What?!"
She practically shrieked it.
He frowned. The beer was going through him like.. well, like beer usually does.
"I'm going to take a piss. When I come back, I don't want to see your face."
"Ever again," he added, and got up and headed to the toilet, nodding to Jack as he went by. Jack ignored him, but then Jack ignored everyone so that was okay. He likely would die of fright if Jack ever did say something. He wondered, if Jack said anything, if it would be important. It would be something of a disappointment if Jack began to tell him the meaning of life and he keeled over before he could even finish.

[James]

I have seen the light! :D