Kev Letting Off Steam...

[KevBrinks]

Damn I am so pissed off I just have to write this down. I am very angry and depressed, a result of a meeting with some "friends" of mine.

To begin, I have to give a bit of background: you see, I am 17 years old, won't turn 18 until December, but I just completed my freshman year of college. So I skipped two grades (7th and 8th) I went to an accelerated highschool (Covington Latin School), where my graduating class was a whopping 30. The school has about 170 students or so. So anyway, I went there not because I was smart, but because I passed the entrance test. I wasn't that smart a kid in gradeschool, but I heard about this highschool and in sixth grade, all I could concentrate on was getting out of school as fast as possible. So anyway, I go take this test and pass it, so I can go to this school. The school is actually not in Cinci, but in Covington KY. So any friends that I made there live in KY, and being that I cant drive, I never see them. My only friends for the first 2 years were some old friends from my gradeschool.
Anyway, today I went to the neighborhood pool. Lots of people from my old gradeschool go there all the time, so I saw a number of people from my good old sixth grade class. They saw me too, but NO ONE said "hi". Anyway, I start walking amongst them, and try to get into conversations. EVERY FUCKING ONE of them broke off as soon as I got near. Any talk I had with someone never broke that "Hey ___, hows it going?" point. I HATE that. So out of the 10 or so kids I used to be tight with, NONE of them wanted to talk to me. I kinda figure they were afraid that whatever I said wouldn't be smart enough for them.
So then I see some other guys from town, a couple of whom go to the same college as me. I tried to talk to them, about frat houses and general stuff we could all connect with. ONCE they found out I was 17, conversation closed. Why cant people just think past that? Its not like I was annoying or anything! I was just trying to be a nice guy and all of them turned there fucking backs on me! FUCK THEM! I even tried talking to a guy who used to be a close friend of mine. Get this, he was reading the Lord of the Rings. I can talk for hours about that. I asked if he was really into fantasy, and he said "Yeah". I finally thought I had found someone I could have a decent conversation with. But no! He had to answer everything I said with a one word answer, and he didn't try to contribute at all. God damn assholes piss me off. I have to go through that every fucking time I see these people too. I had to go through it the entire first semester of college before people would ignore that little fact about me. Who cares if I cant buy fucking cigarettes or go into fucking bars? I'm so sick of this fucking mindset everyone I know has to be engrossed in

[KevBrinks]

ok so now ive actually started to visit this site, and i figure i might actually start posting more often. I guess its like an unspoken agreement not to mention whatever is said in these things, so I guess its cool

*looks around suspiciously*

so anyway Ive picked a new motto to live by (until the next one comes around). usually i pick a quote that i really really like and try to remember it. Back in school its was

Knowledge is power
Power corrupts
Stay in school
Be evil

and then this past summer for some reason I fell in love with the quote "Lifes a bitch and then you marry one" which I thought was so fucking funny that I had to memorize it. Now I'm trying to "grow up" as it were so I have a new one:

God is in the details

kinda like "WOW" isn't it? Guess where I got it from? HAHA NO! not my priest or anything, but my biology teacher. And not about creationism or anything, it was in reference to what he expected on our exams in high school :D cracks me up to remember those days and how much of a loser I am

anyway I dont want to double post so Im going to start living my quote right now. I guess plenty of you know about my...err...grade skipping ordeal (and its an ordeal mind you, not a blessing. I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DO SUCH A THING TO YOUR KIDS DAMMIT! so if I may begin, I will now give a teeny little bio about my *ahem* details

Hmm lets see....Ok I'm i nerd. I spend all the time I'm not working (and I dont work professional jobs; I'm a cashier at a grocery store and I fix up houses like blacktopping and painting etc) reading fantasy books, playing video games, and staring at web pages. I have spent more hours this summer playing Counter-Strike than I have been talking to people. The point is, I was the loner in highschool, and I guess most of that has remained. I'm going to quote Bobby Kennedy here "I was alone a lot, and I didn't mind being alone". yep. thats me. So anyway now at school i have a few close friends and not much more. I usually stay in the background except when I come foreward with one of my witty one-liners which I am o-so-proud-of. Hmm...more details...ok I HATE CONTACTS!! IF SOMEONE OUT THERE CAN GIVE ME ADVISE FOR PUTTING THOSE FUGGIN CLEVERLY DISGUISED NEEDLES IN MY EYES I WOULD APPRECIATE IT!!!! I love orange soda/pop (whichever you prefer :D) and if i get sick if it (rarely) i switch to 7up/sprite/sierramist whatever. I like listening too all types of music. EVERYTHING. from country to punk to classical...even to italian opera! (none of that is on my computer tho...just alternative and punk/rock for the most part). I'm studying microbiology at Miami University in Oxford, Ohio. I minor in Classical Humanities (Latin, Greek mythology/history/language) since I took 4 years of latin and 1 year of greek in HS i figured it would be easy breezy. I gets A's in english at school, pass all my pass/fail classes, I got an A in art history, and i pretty much get C's in everything else. I got a D in chem lab last semester :( I dont know what went wrong...I loved chem in hs, and was even on our JETS team where we won first in the country...

ok there is a break so this wont seem as long and tedious :D ok so anyway i dont like fads that much. Magic the Gathering, Pokemon, yoyos, scooters....none of that has ever caught on to me. I guess I pride myself in two things (both of which i developed from being a loner): not being able to be convinced of other peoples opinions (I doubt everything, as you have perhaps seen on the theories board) and also being able to play the adult "game" as my friend and i call it. Some people just cant get along with adults, but I can really well. Older people love me, which helps a lot in my situation (cough) Too bad i cant play the girl game :( Ive never had a girlfriend or been on a date or even been kissed...I went to a hs where there were 10 girls in my graduating class (now I know Im being shallow but filter out the number that were unattractive and you are left with 2, both of whom were snagged in the first year :()

Well I imagine thats pretty tedious reading so I will write more tomorrow...I guess the purpose of this is to maybe show that you have an interesting life so people will WANT to know you

fancy that?

[KevBrinks]

*cries*

:umm:

*cries some more*

my world has been turned upside down!
*sniff* take a look at this fanfic i wrote..comments are welcome in the form of PMs, but at the end you will have little need to comment

anyway this i made a while ago while being bored in my Assasinations class, taught by the commie pinko pervert boring teacher

Setting: Rand and Belgarion stand facing each other on an empty field. The wind is blowing hard, and thunder and lightning crack and roll above in the stormy sky

Rand: You'll rue having picked this fight Belgarion!
Belgarion: You dont stand a chance, prick!
Rand: You think that you can defeat me? I will use the Flame and the Void to crush you with saidin!
Belgarion: I could use the Will and the Word, filling myself with pure WILL, to turn you into one of the sheep you used to watch over, asshole!

*both pause for a moment, noticing that the Flame and the Void and the Will and the Word sound very similar*

Belgarion:I could beat you without my Power, for I also am a great swordsman!
Rand: *draws heron-marked blade* Where I come from I am knows as a blademaster!
Belgarion: *sheaths sword, unsure of himself*
*pulls out Orb of Aldur* With this stone I can magnify my power thousands of times, stronger than the gods themselves!
Rand: *pulls out Cheodin'kal Keystone* I also have this sa'angreal, which makes my power equal to that of the Creator! *draws Callandor* And this Sword that Ain't also makes me more powerful!

*long pause*

Belgarion: (somewhat childishly) I can speak to wolves!
Rand: I have a buddy who can, and he's nothing but a hairy barbarian in a leadership crisis who is also a whining pussy half the time!
Belgarion: I have brought the dead to life again!
Rand: (somewhat hurt) Ouch...sore spot...touche
Belgarion: I have an entire island of people known as the Rivans to serve me. They are a fierce people, expert fighters!
Rand: They wouldn't stand a chance against the Aiel, a people who survive in a harsh desert, and all of them, even the women, can fight better than any 3 men
Belgarion:Many heroes do not find love. I am married to a beautiful queen, and I have a son and many daughters
Rand: I have 3 women head over heels for me, one who has twins and another with quadruplets
Belgarion: (very childishly) I have a voice in my head!
Rand: Me too
Belgarion:I was born on a farm and raised there until I found out that since the beginning of time events have been leading to my birth, for the entire point of my existance is to fight and defeat the evil god Torak, who is the source of Evil in the world

Rand: I was born and raised a shepherd on a farm, and I found out after being forced away from it that the point of my existance is to fight, defeat, and tram the Dark One
Belgarion: (very weakly and with a hint of a question) My copyright date is ____
Rand: (smugly) Mine is 1990
Belgarion: NOOOOO!!!! *wills self out of existance*

pretty nice dont you think? all i had to do was look up the copyright dates for the two series. THEN I FOUND OUT THAT THE BELGARIAD CAME BEFORE WOT!!! RJ IS THE ONE USING RECYCLED IDEAS!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!

*sniff*

[KevBrinks]

ok so now im REALLY depressed. It seems in the past few years, after getting a few teeth pulled and my mouth knocked around a good deal (lots of fighting) my teeth got all screwed up...i need braces AGAIN!!! not only do I need them (i cant do the clear kind, i HAVE to do the conventional) I just got them in today. I hate every second of wearing them. My parents pretty much forced me to get them. Im 17, in college, and they have to go and make me look even MORE immature than I do anyway. Im in pain, they are uncomfortable, ugly, i cant eat ANYTHING, and I have to have them for at least a year. I already tried ripping them out within the first hour but i stopped when i began to black out from pain. And NOW my parents feel bad about it. My dad takes me out to lunch immediatly afterwards. There was much hotdog and bratt and met grilling. TOO BAD I CANT BITE ANY OF THAT CRAP WITHOUT SENDING NEEDLES OF PAIN THROUGH MY HEAD! I was like, "thanks a lot, dad. are you just trying to rub it in now that youve signed away the next year and a half of my life to misery?" He said "I forgot". Yeah right. I wish i could make him feel as much pain as I am. Did I mention I move back to school TOMORROW!? GOD DAMNIT!!! I did manage to find one cool site on the internet about ways to go about killing one's parents, but now I cant find the url.

Mood: in more pain and more depressed than you can possibly imagine...also starving and craving something solid

[KevBrinks]

ok so im back in school...im a little anxious. so far a couple people from my old dorm have magically appeared in this one, so i have a good base of friends to start with. however, my roommate is a little disappointing. he is a born-again christian, which isnt the real problem. hes told me he would like to keep the room single sex...which i obviously took to mean that no sex was to happen there, cause he didnt want to be kicked out of the room i guess. but it also seemed that he was suggesting that he wanted no girls in there at all. hes not gay, he has a gf, i just think that he doesnt want the temptation or whatever. I will have to ask, because if i can help it i want lots of ladies stopping by to say hi to me :rolleyes:

3 of my best friends from last year are in frats (2 are in the same one) so that means 2 parties w/ free booze to go to. im getting warmed up :D

[KevBrinks]

so last night went....swell

what a bang to end a summer of sobriety...i didnt think i could get into it like that. I just started drinking less than a year ago, and even then i never got "drunk" (just buzzed). so i walk into this frat where i know a ton of guys and one of my best friends is tending bar. Next thing i kno im chugging one beer, throw the can down, and then shotgun with him. before any of it hits me i have had another beer and started working on a kalua, gin, and milk mix thing. everyone else at THAT party had Nati Light, but because of my connections i get kalua and gin (and milk :p ). just goes to show that its not what you know but who you know. i had a couple more beers in the course of the night, and i came home with my head swimming so badly that i thought it would drag me off the top bunk. i had a lot of fun tho, even if the parties were lacking in the girl department. sometimes its nice to just lounge around chilling with a beer rather than dancing and hitting on girls :rolleyes:;)

so somehow this morning a demon possessed me and made me wake up at this ungodly hour... (9 AM!! I GOT IN AT 3:30!!!!) and i have absolutely no hangover or pain (except for the damn needles in my mouth...i fucking hate braces)

[KevBrinks]

so tired...need rest...

i somehow got like 10 people in my dorm crazy about Counter-Strike. weve been playing like non-stop for the past few days. its been fun, because they all are pretty bad, and i tend to wipe the face of the earth clean of them every round. I always lead by many more kills, and have the fewest deaths. But they keep asking for more and more. I wish they would all want to play me at the same time, instead of in groups of 2 and 3 throughout the day. plz make it stop! I HAVE A CS HANGOVER!

[KevBrinks]

i cant believe im posting another thing about counter-strike. i was playing some friends yesterday. they made it 4 on 1 to make it even. I think the final score was me with 65 kills 8 deaths. Anyway i looked at the logs from their team chatting later. It turns out that they had seriously contemplated that i cheated. Then when my friend from home got in the game on their side he was telling them that i sold my soul for counterstrike skills. he said he actually described the ritual i used (involving burning bibles and blood) to communicate with satan (little do they know i just used AIM ;)) so anyway their conversations involved a lot of laughing followed by lots of swearing

[KevBrinks]

****WARNING: GRAPHIC****

good2Banonymous: whuddup
KevBrinks: i always hate to say this
KevBrinks: but who is this?
good2Banonymous: a piece of shit
KevBrinks: ill bet
good2Banonymous: nice fireball
KevBrinks: thanx
good2Banonymous: really cute
KevBrinks: yeah...maybe to a homo
KevBrinks: what no retort?
KevBrinks: cmon man
KevBrinks: your KILLING me
good2Banonymous: fuck you
KevBrinks: oh that was classic
good2Banonymous: hows that :-D
KevBrinks: "fuck you"
KevBrinks: wonderful
KevBrinks: it was an inspiration man
good2Banonymous: love getting drunk in college
KevBrinks: or woman
KevBrinks: are you asking or telling me that?
good2Banonymous: im tellin u that
KevBrinks: ok
KevBrinks: ill bet its great
KevBrinks: what college do you go to?
good2Banonymous: cummon u dont get wasted
KevBrinks: ...
KevBrinks: maybe...
KevBrinks: or maybe not
KevBrinks: you decide
KevBrinks: while you are fucking yourself
good2Banonymous: with my hand
good2Banonymous: up and down or in and out
KevBrinks: or?
good2Banonymous: sweet dawg me and u r gonna be good friends
KevBrinks: you must be a pretty fucked up kind of person
KevBrinks: you think so huh?
good2Banonymous: yeah most peeps think that
KevBrinks: well im guessing you actually know me, seeing as i made it impossible to be randomly looked up
good2Banonymous: cept my buds we get wasted most weekends
KevBrinks: and you are way too immature to be someone from the forums i frequent
good2Banonymous: what are those like wonder boy forums geek
good2Banonymous: huh
KevBrinks: id rather be on those forums than your fuck-yourself-with-a-broomstick gay porn sites
good2Banonymous: hey man those are great but you have to use something a little wider then a broomstick more like a nice square pice of quarter round or a really thick dowel rod
KevBrinks: oh really? i take it you would know that
good2Banonymous: naturally
KevBrinks: considering your dad probably raped you since infancy
good2Banonymous: you mean you don't stuff yourself
KevBrinks: did you like it then as much as you like it now?
good2Banonymous: naw sex is better with the girls from the red zone
KevBrinks: wtf is the red zone? is that a secret name for your sisters and first cousins you hick?
good2Banonymous: it's the area in a town where you pick up the whores
KevBrinks: are you a whore there then?
KevBrinks: selling yourself to big men?
KevBrinks: 5 dollars bj, 7 dollars a good stuffin?
good2Banonymous: no gettin busty sluts sold to me 16 dollar bj 30 for an hour in the sac
KevBrinks: oh really?
KevBrinks: what was his name?
KevBrinks: did he wear makeup and a dress?
good2Banonymous: fuck you
good2Banonymous: she had a big sloppy as cunt
KevBrinks: was he your father?
good2Banonymous: it was some pretty sweet action but she was a bit loose
KevBrinks: or grandfather
good2Banonymous: fuck u ur not that smart geek
KevBrinks: who said i was?
good2Banonymous: u no who this really is
KevBrinks: no idea
good2Banonymous: dats good dawg
good2Banonymous: ask some friends
KevBrinks: haha
KevBrinks: i think i know
KevBrinks: but i dont really care

nice convo huh? what a dipshit. i know who it was, and then next time i see him i will tell him how stupid he was

[KevBrinks]

well that guy really pissed me off. I DID know who he was. He was just dicking around with me since he had a new screen name. In later we began having a nice political discussion. I won. How can you tell? You can tell at one point he begins leaving the topic and his cursing becomes a lot less fluent until you can barely understand what hes saying. I think EVERYONE should read this entire conversation, because you have all been in a situation like this:

dashed dreams 72 (12:07:53 AM): how do you like this greeting
dashed dreams 72 (12:08:04 AM): hey you liberal fuck
dashed dreams 72 (12:08:10 AM): I love it
KevBrinks (12:08:33 AM): ...
dashed dreams 72 (12:08:42 AM): you don't do you
KevBrinks (12:09:17 AM): well, my dad is hard core republican
KevBrinks (12:09:21 AM): and i hate politics
dashed dreams 72 (12:09:23 AM): disgusting
KevBrinks (12:09:28 AM): so i dont care, but i know people who would
dashed dreams 72 (12:09:36 AM): tell your dad he's a fucking murderer
dashed dreams 72 (12:09:47 AM): murders people and the environment
KevBrinks (12:10:03 AM): fuck you man my dad is so pro life its not even funny
dashed dreams 72 (12:10:10 AM): exploits it all just to make fucking money so he can gorge his ass with beer and fucking soda pop
dashed dreams 72 (12:10:21 AM): :-)
KevBrinks (12:10:24 AM): haha if you honestly believe that
KevBrinks (12:10:30 AM): i dont wanna talk to you ever again
dashed dreams 72 (12:10:32 AM): I don't
dashed dreams 72 (12:10:38 AM): but if he supports Bush he's pro murder
dashed dreams 72 (12:10:44 AM): you can't get around that
KevBrinks (12:10:46 AM): thats not true
KevBrinks (12:10:55 AM): that is the dumbest thing you have ever said
dashed dreams 72 (12:10:58 AM): how
dashed dreams 72 (12:11:35 AM): come on
KevBrinks (12:11:38 AM): do your fuckin research
dashed dreams 72 (12:11:40 AM): I'll take you on here
dashed dreams 72 (12:11:45 AM): no you do your research
KevBrinks (12:11:47 AM): ok man
KevBrinks (12:11:49 AM): here we go
KevBrinks (12:11:50 AM): its on
dashed dreams 72 (12:11:54 AM): bring it
KevBrinks (12:12:09 AM): just cause you support someone doesnt mean you agree with everything that they have done or will do
dashed dreams 72 (12:12:15 AM): ok
dashed dreams 72 (12:12:28 AM): Bush stands for two things money and power
dashed dreams 72 (12:12:36 AM): he gets power through military or money
KevBrinks (12:12:36 AM): and protection
dashed dreams 72 (12:12:42 AM): protection of what
KevBrinks (12:12:48 AM): of the american people
dashed dreams 72 (12:12:49 AM): certainly not humanity
KevBrinks (12:12:55 AM): he is honestly concerned
KevBrinks (12:13:09 AM): and wanted the threat of alquaida eliminated
KevBrinks (12:13:21 AM): he is not in control of what the military does over there
KevBrinks (12:13:24 AM): he just gets blamed
KevBrinks (12:13:37 AM): honestly i dont think you have any idea what you are talking about
dashed dreams 72 (12:13:46 AM): fuck the American people look at the bigger picture
dashed dreams 72 (12:13:48 AM): the world
KevBrinks (12:13:58 AM): i think you are spouting communistic and ultra left wing ideas
dashed dreams 72 (12:14:01 AM): look at the state of the union
dashed dreams 72 (12:14:06 AM): do you see what he did there
dashed dreams 72 (12:14:11 AM): I'm ultra left wing
KevBrinks (12:14:24 AM): its like you are spouting something you heard from someone else
dashed dreams 72 (12:14:27 AM): our media is conservative and they're even ripping on the sick bastard
KevBrinks (12:14:44 AM): you think the media is conservative?
dashed dreams 72 (12:14:45 AM): I'm spouting stuff from foreign intelligence on the United States
KevBrinks (12:14:52 AM): you got to be the most ignorant person EVER
dashed dreams 72 (12:14:54 AM): our media is conservative
KevBrinks (12:14:57 AM): no it isnt
dashed dreams 72 (12:15:01 AM): hell yes it is
KevBrinks (12:15:07 AM): CNN
KevBrinks (12:15:16 AM): NBC
KevBrinks (12:15:17 AM): ABC
KevBrinks (12:15:28 AM): New York Times
dashed dreams 72 (12:15:30 AM): all conservative
dashed dreams 72 (12:15:40 AM): washington post is slightly less conservative
KevBrinks (12:15:47 AM): omg im not even going to argue with you
dashed dreams 72 (12:15:49 AM): then you have the BBC which is straight down the middle
KevBrinks (12:15:56 AM): you havent read or watched any of those have you?
KevBrinks (12:15:58 AM): you have no proof
dashed dreams 72 (12:16:07 AM): I haven't read any of what?
KevBrinks (12:16:13 AM): if you continue to think such things, you deserve to get beaten with an extension cord
dashed dreams 72 (12:16:18 AM): I have read some of the opfficial government documents
KevBrinks (12:16:39 AM): dude you cant even begin to argue this stuff
dashed dreams 72 (12:16:41 AM): our recent attack we used outdated missiles killed loads of civilians and hit 3/257 targets
dashed dreams 72 (12:16:57 AM): we give Israel gobs of weapons
KevBrinks (12:16:59 AM): see thats liberal bullcrap
KevBrinks (12:17:03 AM): not conservative
dashed dreams 72 (12:17:04 AM): we violate all the geneva contracts
dashed dreams 72 (12:17:09 AM): we don't follow UN code
dashed dreams 72 (12:17:16 AM): we're in violation of human rights
KevBrinks (12:17:36 AM): listen to yourself man! you are blaming that on Bush?
KevBrinks (12:17:49 AM): you think its the president's fault that there is racism?
KevBrinks (12:18:09 AM): is that what you are saying?
KevBrinks (12:18:16 AM): i oughta go over there and hit you man
KevBrinks (12:18:19 AM): that is bull SHIT
dashed dreams 72 (12:18:23 AM): that our troops ran over an 82 year old man in a wheelchari with a large white flag on the back
KevBrinks (12:18:26 AM): you are just a rambling idiot
dashed dreams 72 (12:18:27 AM): in a fucking tank
dashed dreams 72 (12:18:48 AM): I think that's a human rights violation
KevBrinks (12:18:53 AM): ok man. people flew FUCKING AIRPLANES INTO 2 TOWERS
KevBrinks (12:19:07 AM): i think thats A FUCKING VIOLATION OF LIFE LIBERTY AND HAPPINESS
dashed dreams 72 (12:19:14 AM): and we've ripped apart 20 million people's lives and still haven't caught them
KevBrinks (12:19:17 AM): how many old people were in the twin towers?
dashed dreams 72 (12:19:20 AM): you tell me what's worse
KevBrinks (12:19:45 AM): ok man, you have gotten so far off the subject with your fucking rambling that you dont even know what you are talking about
KevBrinks (12:19:52 AM): you said bush supports murder
dashed dreams 72 (12:19:57 AM): I know exactly what I'm talking abot
dashed dreams 72 (12:20:04 AM): look at Israel
KevBrinks (12:20:07 AM): do you think that bush told that soldier to run over tha man?
KevBrinks (12:20:09 AM): DO YOU?
dashed dreams 72 (12:20:10 AM): he feeds them weapons out his ass
dashed dreams 72 (12:20:14 AM): any killing is murder
KevBrinks (12:20:15 AM): ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!!
dashed dreams 72 (12:20:26 AM): no
KevBrinks (12:20:28 AM): there
KevBrinks (12:20:31 AM): you are wrong
dashed dreams 72 (12:20:54 AM): I am not wrong
dashed dreams 72 (12:22:41 AM): have we found nuclear weapons?
KevBrinks (12:22:41 AM): oh thats right. Isreal is the only one "defending" itself
KevBrinks (12:22:52 AM): its killing our ambassadors right and left
KevBrinks (12:23:01 AM): and our peace corps people
KevBrinks (12:23:19 AM): dude i think you REALLY need to catch up on current events
KevBrinks (12:23:34 AM): shit like this tank incident is not the only thing thats happened
KevBrinks (12:23:47 AM): what about the ladies who bomb themselves and thousands of other people?
dashed dreams 72 (12:24:06 AM): Oh my fucking God you mother fucking dumbass you just flipped the last mother fucking switch no I'm going to have to come kick your god damn mother fucking gay ass, bitch, Israel isn't doing anything legal, they're totally in violation of all of the geneva accords that they agreed to all of their settlements in gaza and the west banmk are illegal
KevBrinks (12:24:46 AM): oh wait
dashed dreams 72 (12:24:56 AM): they murder, this is just the response to that
KevBrinks (12:25:00 AM): didnt isreal blow up a bus full of women and children?
KevBrinks (12:25:06 AM): yeah i think they did
dashed dreams 72 (12:25:21 AM): yeah palestinian women and children
KevBrinks (12:25:28 AM): does it matter?
dashed dreams 72 (12:25:30 AM): i think the israelis did do something like that
KevBrinks (12:25:35 AM): didnt you just say and killing is murder?
dashed dreams 72 (12:25:37 AM): with a cruise missile
dashed dreams 72 (12:25:46 AM): yes and we both agreed the Israelis did it
KevBrinks (12:25:57 AM): so why is that bush's fault?
dashed dreams 72 (12:26:12 AM): he gave them the missile they did it with
dashed dreams 72 (12:26:34 AM): if I give a five year old a gun is it even a little bit my fault when they shoot someone
KevBrinks (12:26:59 AM): what about that hamas bomb?
dashed dreams 72 (12:27:09 AM): their have been loads of those
KevBrinks (12:27:11 AM): wasnt that a palastinian guy?
dashed dreams 72 (12:27:18 AM): yeah
KevBrinks (12:27:29 AM): and there have been loads?
dashed dreams 72 (12:27:31 AM): blowing up one thing doesn't justifyu blowing up another
dashed dreams 72 (12:27:46 AM): that's why MLKJ not George Bush is an American hero with a day in his honor
KevBrinks (12:27:53 AM): dude, look at the UN documents from 47-48
KevBrinks (12:28:22 AM): WE OFFERED PALASTINE AND ISREAL A STATE AND THEY REFUSED DUMBASS!
KevBrinks (12:28:30 AM): we cant do anything else
dashed dreams 72 (12:28:36 AM): yes unfortunately look at the geneva accords that they both signed on the yard of the whitehouse that explicitly override those documents DUMBASS
KevBrinks (12:28:39 AM): they got us stuck in a vicious cycle
dashed dreams 72 (12:28:46 AM): in !9 fucking 93

[KevBrinks]

dashed dreams 72 (12:29:09 AM): violence begets violence do as jesus would do
dashed dreams 72 (12:29:17 AM): turn the other cheek
KevBrinks (12:29:39 AM): jesus also tore up a temple dude
KevBrinks (12:30:06 AM): and quite frankly i dont wanna keep turning the other cheek until they bomb the shit out of the US
dashed dreams 72 (12:30:16 AM): god tells the israelites that violence is his business alone
KevBrinks (12:30:23 AM): im not too crazy about a plan crashing into my house
dashed dreams 72 (12:30:25 AM): dumbass
KevBrinks (12:30:44 AM): read the old testament
dashed dreams 72 (12:30:53 AM): read the new testament it's newer
KevBrinks (12:30:58 AM): god used the isrealites to wipe massive amounts of people off the earth
dashed dreams 72 (12:31:15 AM): the old testament also tells us that the Earth was created two different ways
KevBrinks (12:31:32 AM): ok dude im sick of this
KevBrinks (12:31:34 AM): you are rambling
dashed dreams 72 (12:31:40 AM): no
KevBrinks (12:31:40 AM): you have nothing important to say

and so ends the glorious debate! he was making a fool of himself the whole time.

[KevBrinks]

oh shit...i was going to rant about my religious dilemma, but i decided not to because i dont want to write anything that could possibly be insulting to anyone here. I love you guys too much *nods* so I will instead bitch about tonight

Its 9:45pm. Its Friday night. End of the first week of school. I wanna get drunk. Its raining. Nothing is going on that i kno of. my buddies are all out of town. Im bored. I cant go out. Im dying here. There is absolutly nothing to do, as the dorm is EMPTY and I want to move or something, not sit here in front of the PC. im so sad and depressed tonite...so much on my mind that i was looking forward to escape from it by drinking. my roommate is 21, but hes BA Christian so i dont want to ask him to buy for me (esp since im so young). :(:(:(:(:(:(:(

[KevBrinks]

oh yeah I also want to make it perfectly clear that if any of you want to offer your advice, opinions, insults or questions about any of this stuff, its cool with me if you email me (brinkmkr@muohio.edu) IM me (KevBrinks on AIM) or PM me. I dont mind talking about this stuff, if it were that private and personal i wouldnt put it up here right?

[KevBrinks]

11 pm saturday night of a 3 day weekend. nothin to do :(. I hate rain. The girl i like went to a friends place and then she and her roommates were going to a house party on College Avenue. I couldnt find anyone who wanted to head up there with me:furious: :( :cry: which pisses me off cause i would have gone up there just for the chance to see her. I think she is more interested in me now because I told her the story about my bio teacher saying "God is in the details" and she liked the quote and the joke. She is a BA christian which is a blessing and a curse because i think she will talk to me more (being so evangelistic) but she scares me because BA christians believe only they and other BA christians get to go to heaven. I dont like feeling like she already sees me in hell and that I need to be "saved". im Roman Catholic and i believe that ANYONE can get into heaven, regardless of religion or lack thereof. I dont like looking at a person and thinking "I like them, they are a good person, I think and hope that they are going to heaven" and knowing that they think "Kev is a good person, I like him, I wish he were saved like me cause he is going to burn in hell anyway". I feel like im burning whenever these people look at me and i consider religion. On top of that I keep being invited to all these meeting for the BA Christian groups. Damnit I wrote out my religious dilemma when I said i wouldnt. I hope none of you are offended by this in the least. Its not my job to convert or change anyone's beliefs cause they are YOURS. Im so fucking bored right now...

[KevBrinks]

OH JESUS CHRIST IT BURNS IT BURNS HOLY SHIT OMG I DUNNO HOW IM GOING TO DO THIS EVERYDAY OW OW OW OW OW BLIND CANT SEE PAIN NEEDLES CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP FUCK!!!

fyi im typing blind as I just put in my right contact...i swear to god that i have been saying this over and over again...i handled the damn cleverly disguised needle too long and for the past 5 minutes my eye has felt like its going to pop out of my skull. oh boy...i have another one to look forward to...:(

[KevBrinks]

Fuck me? Fuck you. Fuck you and this whole city and everyone in it.
Fuck the panhandlers grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back.
Fuck the squeegee man dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a fucking job.
Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores, stinking up my day. Terrorists in fucking training – SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!
Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped-up biceps, going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my channel 35!
Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of over-priced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speakee English.
Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafes sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth, wheelin’ and dealin’ and schemin’. Go back where you fucking came from.
Fuck the black-hatted Hasidim strolling up and down 47th Street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff selling South African apartheid diamonds.
Fuck the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas-Gordon Gekko wannabe motherfuckers figuring out new ways to rob hardworking people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for fucking life. You think Bush and Cheney didn’t know about that shit? Give me a fucking break. Imclone. Adelphia. Worldcom.
Fuck the Puerto Ricans. Twenty to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls. Worst fucking parade in the city. And don’t even get me started on the Dominicans ‘cause they make the Puerto Ricans look good.
Fuck the Bensonhurst Italians with their pomaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, their St. Anthony medallions, swinging their Jason Giambi Louisville Sluggers baseball bats trying to audition for ‘The Sopranos.’
Fuck the Upper East Side wives with their Hermes scarves and their $50 Balducci artichoke. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched all taut and shiny. You’re not fooling anybody, sweetheart.
Fuck the Uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don’t want to play defense, they take five steps on every layup to the hoop, and then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended 137 years ago. Move the fuck on.
Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus-violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind the blue wall of silence. You betray our trust!
Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child’s pants. Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you’re at it, fuck J.C. He got off easy -- a day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity. Try seven years in fucking Otisville, J.
Fuck Osama bin Laden, Al Qaeda, and backward-ass cave-dwelling fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your 72 whores roasting in a jet fueled fire in hell. You towel-headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal Irish ass.
Fuck Jacob Elinsky. Whining malcontent.
Fuck Francis Xavier Slaughtery, my best friend, judging me while he stares at my girlfriend’s ass.
Fuck Naturelle Rivera. I gave her my trust, and she stabbed me in the back. Sold me up the river. Fucking bitch.
Fuck my father with his endless grief, standing behind that bar, sipping on club soda, selling whiskey to firemen and cheering the Bronx Bombers.
Fuck this whole city and everyone in it, from the row houses of Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue, from the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho, from the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park Slope to the split-levels in Staten Island, let an earthquake crumble it, let the fires rage, let it burn to fucking ash, and then let the waters rise and submerge this whole rat-infested place.
No. Fuck you, Montgomery Brogan. You had it all and you threw it away, you dumb fuck!”

--Ed Norton 25th Hour

[KevBrinks]

just finished Lord Foul's Bane today. oh btw i picked it up today. interesting book. i liked it, except *spoiler* for the raping of Lena... it didnt make sense that he would do it. completely out of character methinks. plus he still calls himself impotent later on so i dont understand how it happened. if any of you can clarify that for me gimme a PM or something

im so bored. i cant stand this school year. i dont have the same kind of friends living close...i dont feel welcome to walk into peoples rooms and talk or hang out. im incredibly lonely and these short conversations in chat or through AIM arent enough for me. I dont get any joy out of playing video games anymore...must have gotten burned out or something. im chronically addicted to books now. just not school books

[KevBrinks]

thomas covenant is great, just finished the farseer trilogy again today (covenant 2 days ago) and runelords about an hour ago. good stuff. today sucked. slept late, terrible food at the dining hall, internet is very slow, reffed 2 hockey games (first time reffing them) and ended up making a fool of myself cause i have no idea what im doing. its really embarassing to look a fool in front of 5 guys who are covered in pads, pissed off, and know you are the one who is making bad calls. im such a dumbass. this may not be the job for me :(

at least i can seek comfort in the books i read. personally id rather be Fitz in the cell getting the shit beat out of him rather than the ref i was today, cause at least in the former condition i would know i was right:cry:

[KevBrinks]

i think I'm going to drop my microbiology major. I really cant stand those classes anymore. They are hard, depressing, tearing apart my gpa, and I can't fathom staying in that subject for the next 10 years of my life. I pitched this to my parents, and as supportive as they are about me doing something I like, they want me to come up with a plan for what I will do with a major in Classical Humanities.

Bottom line: I suck at science and math, but rock at liberal arts. WTF do I do with that? (NO LAW SCHOOL)