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View Full Version : Critique, please!


Master Raven
26th April 2003, 13:38
Lord of the Morning
Oh Lord – Who are you?
Are you sun, are you light are you the
Thing that drives –
Us all to awake?
Do you know my name,
Or the game that I play?
Do you watch from the shadows that are –
Not simply shadows because you are there?
When the mountains tremble, is it you?
When the seas roar, are you swimming?
Tell me these – and more
If the Lord of the Morning is the morning,
Then what is dawn?
What is Life, Death, night, and the
Red sensation of pain
Angered
Pulsing
Tiredness, fatigue,
You bring these to me, every morn – and more
I wonder at your wonder
The glory, the pride of bringing each new morn
A shepherd
A soccer mom
A zookeeper
You watch over us all, with your eye
Of molten fire!
Do you care?
Do you…
Bring life with each new morn?
Do you have power over life and death?
Do you…. And more?
Morning is soon… will you be there?
Give me a sign, a signal,
A flash of light
Directed towards me
Here, in my room…
Will you do this for me
And more?


--Master Raven

TRUTH
29th April 2003, 18:35
I liked it. Open ended questions tinged with innocence. I'll PM you my suggestions.