wendy
20th September 2002, 01:38
So, Beppie, Abraxas77, Radarofpolo and I made a story in chat and I have saved it here. :D If anyone has any other silly stories from chat or elsewhere they wanna ad to this thread, then go ahead! But they have to be silly :D
Once upon a time, in the land beyond the Wobbles, lived a very sexy lion tamer. Now this tamer of lions, who some say is the best of all lion tamers, tamed her lions like no other. And these were no ordinary lions, oh no, they were super psilly lions! They were so psilly they even made Queen Elizabeth snort with laughter. "We are most amused by these psilly lions" she would say, while slapping her thighs and jumping up and down. Year after year, and only once a year, the circus from the land beyond the wobbles toured our world. But one year for some reason, the circus from the land beyond the wobbles hadn't shown up yet. The queen was very upset, she declared that whoever found the circus could come along with her and she would shout them beer and a free ticket. It was Seamus the Hairy Scot who answered the call, and took on the challenge of locating the circus from beyond the Wobbles. Seamus the Hairy Scot set out to find the circus with the sexy lion tamer of super psilly lions. Unsure of where to begin, he tried to first locate the land of wobbles, surely they must know something of the elusive circus. Along with him was his trusty side-kick, Backspace who, armed with his glockenspiel and a wedge of cheese would help the Hairy Scot through the land of the wobbles. But backspace had a dark secret, he was really a spy from the Queen of Denmark who wanted the psilly circus for herself! Backspace was struggling though, as on every day of the journey he found himself more and more drawn to the Hairy Scot. Backspace was confounded by this most curious attraction toward the Hairy Scot. Finally, deciding he must be bewitched, he strived ever harder to hasten his quest. For he knew only the sexy lion tamer and psilly lions could break this curse. So off on the multi-coloured road they started into the land of wobbles until they saw the most unusual thing.
"By golly!" said Backspace, "Is that what I think it is?"
"Aye" said Hairy Scot, "Aye laddie it is. An' it be somethin' I ne'er thought I'd see again, I woulda bet ev'ry hair on my hairy arse..."
Suddenly the... thing wobbled closer, it had no legs and its feet were melded together where its legs should be. It said in a feminine voice "Where you be a wobbling to?"
"Well now my fine, um, whatever you are, we are travelling far across the land of the wobbles to find the sexiest lion tamer and his psilly lions for Queen Elizabeth *nods*"
"Why I be a weeble" explained the wobbly thing, "and you won't find no psilly lions in these here parts, no siree, the RSPCA took them all away."
"What!?" said Hairy Scot, "The Ruling Society of Politically Correct Assholes?! Damn their eyes!"
The weeble then began to nod, so violently in fact, that she began to wobble in a great arc hitting both Backspace and Seamus the Hairy Scot in their heads.
"Luckily for me I'm very hairy" exclaimed the Hairy Scot, "quick Backspace use your amazing power of the glockenspiel to calm the nodding weeble."
Backspace raised his glockenspiel high into the air and said "I HAVE THE POWER" and then thunked the weeble right in the wobbly bit.
This caused the weeble to stop nodding violently- it also turned a lovely shade of violet, before images began to appear on its surface...
Strangely enough these images were of lions..... in unlionlike posturs. "Why, those must be the super silly lions" noted the Hairy Scot.
"Tell me o wobbly one, where from do these pictures come? inquied the hairiest of scots. The weeble turned even more violet, it seemed she was so embarrassed she could not answer. It was very embarrasing to get hit in the wobbly bit in the land of the wobbles.
Sensing her embarrasement, Hairy Scot and Backspace took off their kilts revealing their own wobbly bit, and everyone was on an equal footing.
Except for the weeble, who has not feet. So she wobbled into the wobbly bits of the Hairy Scot and Backspace hoping that would put them on level ground.
"Is this the customary weeble greeting?" the Scot asked, "cauz if it is, who needs psilly lions!"
"Do you mean." said Backspace, "that all we need to do is wave our wobbly bits at the Queen?"
"Well" replied the weeble, "it worked just now, did it not?"
"But will the queen like it as much as the psilly lions?"
"hmm" said backspace, "maybe she will" as he compared his wobbly bit to the note a# upon the glock but realised it was only a b flat.
"and I expect it will have her snorting with laughter just as much." said the Hairy Scot after observing this. Privately backspace was a little hurt that his unrequited love, Hairy Scot, found his wobbly bits a subject of amusement. But publically he put on a brave face.
"laughter isn't the only thing the queen will be snortin eye eye" said the weeble and elbowed backspace, but backspaces mind seemed to be drifting.
Backspace not liking the situation leapt upon the fine little weeble and began strangling her and shouted "Where are all the lions? Where are all the lions??!" and the weeble muttered, "lions? lions? I thought you said LOINS"
"and why would you think that?" said Backspace, "You are in league with the queen aren't you?"
Looking around nervously, Hairy Scot said, "Actually we're the ones hired by the Queen, But I'm thinking there's something to this lion loin anagram. Mayhaps our wobbly bits play a larger role than expected." But Hairy Scot had a secret too. He took off his hairy costume and lo and behold, there stood the sexy lion tamer! It had been a test of loyalty, and Backspace at last understood his animal attraction. After taming backspaces loins, she returned to the Queen to present her splendid show of super psilly lions and her newly tamed loins.
Once upon a time, in the land beyond the Wobbles, lived a very sexy lion tamer. Now this tamer of lions, who some say is the best of all lion tamers, tamed her lions like no other. And these were no ordinary lions, oh no, they were super psilly lions! They were so psilly they even made Queen Elizabeth snort with laughter. "We are most amused by these psilly lions" she would say, while slapping her thighs and jumping up and down. Year after year, and only once a year, the circus from the land beyond the wobbles toured our world. But one year for some reason, the circus from the land beyond the wobbles hadn't shown up yet. The queen was very upset, she declared that whoever found the circus could come along with her and she would shout them beer and a free ticket. It was Seamus the Hairy Scot who answered the call, and took on the challenge of locating the circus from beyond the Wobbles. Seamus the Hairy Scot set out to find the circus with the sexy lion tamer of super psilly lions. Unsure of where to begin, he tried to first locate the land of wobbles, surely they must know something of the elusive circus. Along with him was his trusty side-kick, Backspace who, armed with his glockenspiel and a wedge of cheese would help the Hairy Scot through the land of the wobbles. But backspace had a dark secret, he was really a spy from the Queen of Denmark who wanted the psilly circus for herself! Backspace was struggling though, as on every day of the journey he found himself more and more drawn to the Hairy Scot. Backspace was confounded by this most curious attraction toward the Hairy Scot. Finally, deciding he must be bewitched, he strived ever harder to hasten his quest. For he knew only the sexy lion tamer and psilly lions could break this curse. So off on the multi-coloured road they started into the land of wobbles until they saw the most unusual thing.
"By golly!" said Backspace, "Is that what I think it is?"
"Aye" said Hairy Scot, "Aye laddie it is. An' it be somethin' I ne'er thought I'd see again, I woulda bet ev'ry hair on my hairy arse..."
Suddenly the... thing wobbled closer, it had no legs and its feet were melded together where its legs should be. It said in a feminine voice "Where you be a wobbling to?"
"Well now my fine, um, whatever you are, we are travelling far across the land of the wobbles to find the sexiest lion tamer and his psilly lions for Queen Elizabeth *nods*"
"Why I be a weeble" explained the wobbly thing, "and you won't find no psilly lions in these here parts, no siree, the RSPCA took them all away."
"What!?" said Hairy Scot, "The Ruling Society of Politically Correct Assholes?! Damn their eyes!"
The weeble then began to nod, so violently in fact, that she began to wobble in a great arc hitting both Backspace and Seamus the Hairy Scot in their heads.
"Luckily for me I'm very hairy" exclaimed the Hairy Scot, "quick Backspace use your amazing power of the glockenspiel to calm the nodding weeble."
Backspace raised his glockenspiel high into the air and said "I HAVE THE POWER" and then thunked the weeble right in the wobbly bit.
This caused the weeble to stop nodding violently- it also turned a lovely shade of violet, before images began to appear on its surface...
Strangely enough these images were of lions..... in unlionlike posturs. "Why, those must be the super silly lions" noted the Hairy Scot.
"Tell me o wobbly one, where from do these pictures come? inquied the hairiest of scots. The weeble turned even more violet, it seemed she was so embarrassed she could not answer. It was very embarrasing to get hit in the wobbly bit in the land of the wobbles.
Sensing her embarrasement, Hairy Scot and Backspace took off their kilts revealing their own wobbly bit, and everyone was on an equal footing.
Except for the weeble, who has not feet. So she wobbled into the wobbly bits of the Hairy Scot and Backspace hoping that would put them on level ground.
"Is this the customary weeble greeting?" the Scot asked, "cauz if it is, who needs psilly lions!"
"Do you mean." said Backspace, "that all we need to do is wave our wobbly bits at the Queen?"
"Well" replied the weeble, "it worked just now, did it not?"
"But will the queen like it as much as the psilly lions?"
"hmm" said backspace, "maybe she will" as he compared his wobbly bit to the note a# upon the glock but realised it was only a b flat.
"and I expect it will have her snorting with laughter just as much." said the Hairy Scot after observing this. Privately backspace was a little hurt that his unrequited love, Hairy Scot, found his wobbly bits a subject of amusement. But publically he put on a brave face.
"laughter isn't the only thing the queen will be snortin eye eye" said the weeble and elbowed backspace, but backspaces mind seemed to be drifting.
Backspace not liking the situation leapt upon the fine little weeble and began strangling her and shouted "Where are all the lions? Where are all the lions??!" and the weeble muttered, "lions? lions? I thought you said LOINS"
"and why would you think that?" said Backspace, "You are in league with the queen aren't you?"
Looking around nervously, Hairy Scot said, "Actually we're the ones hired by the Queen, But I'm thinking there's something to this lion loin anagram. Mayhaps our wobbly bits play a larger role than expected." But Hairy Scot had a secret too. He took off his hairy costume and lo and behold, there stood the sexy lion tamer! It had been a test of loyalty, and Backspace at last understood his animal attraction. After taming backspaces loins, she returned to the Queen to present her splendid show of super psilly lions and her newly tamed loins.