Arawis Time

[Arawis]

random stuff by Arawis

I'm always on time. Arawis time.

are you aware of what you make me feel, baby?
right now i feel invisible to you, like im not real
didnt you feel me lock my arms around you
whyd you turn away?
heres what i have to say
i was left to cry there waitin outside there grinnin with the lost stare
thats when i decided
why should i care?
cuz you werent there when i was scared
i was so alone
no, you need to listen
im startin to trip
im losin my grip
and im in this thing alone

Am i just some chick you place beside you
to take somebody's place?
when you turn around
can you recognize my face?
you used to love me you used to hug me
but that wasnt the case
everything wasnt ok
i was left to cry there waitin outside there grinnin with the lost stare
thats when i decided
why should i care?
cuz you werent there when i was scared
i was so alone
no, you need to lsiten
im startin to trip, im losin my grip
and im in this thing alone

cried out, lord im cried out
cried out, lord im cried out

open your eyes!
open your eyes!

why should i care?
cuz you werent there when i was scared
i was so alone
why should i care?
cuz you werent there when i was scared
i was so alone
why should i care?
if you dont care then i dont care
we're not going anywhere........

~Avril Lavigne>Losing Grip

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Her strong enchantments failing,
her towers of fear in wreck,
her limbecks dried of poisons
and the knife at her neck,

The Queen of air and darkness
Begins to shrill and cry,
`O young man, O my slayer,
To-morrow you shall die.'

O Queen of air and darkness,
I think 'tis truth you say,
And I shall die to-morrow;
But you will die to-day.

~Emma Pease

[Arawis]

school sucks even with senior hitting on you i hate my biology teacher he needs to learn english kelly won on a merican idol yay i was going for her after they kicked tamyra off that was stupid o well she already got a recording contract wd geo test tomorrow gonna fail most likely im good at geography better than biology just found out im making a 79 in there hey im passing that good gonna be in the dance at the game on friday probly be dead tired then gotta get upearly the next morning go sing at hotdogs and heros watch Phyrework and NC*17 if yall ever hear them and they are famous they came from TC remember that i just ate now im tired gonna go hop in the shower then catch some sleep peace.

[Arawis]

if I could be anything, i'd be a tear: born in your eye, live on your cheek, die on your lips

[Arawis]

game on friday was ok we lost to cedar hill 10 to 7 man our varsity team sucks good thing JV is good or else i might be sad i didnt mess up on my halftime performance so i was happy bout that saw a bunch of my friends there they cheered me on my friends ashtray and lucky made a big sign for me the losers :rolleyes: jajaja saturday had to go to voice lessons i had forgotten about that so i didnt get to go to the thing eatrly and watch Phyrework play :( but o well we did good singing the national anthem and song for the unsung heroes so it wasnt too bad went to the Comedy Cabaret at the HS last night, it was really funny (its liek Whos Line is it Anyway) spent the night at my friend kayla's house got up early this mornign to go to sunday school with her and danielle who also spent the night the teacher asked why ppl didnt bring their bible i told her i didnt have one so she gave me one i was like....thanks. went to mass for the first time......i had never been to mass before it wasnt to bad me and danielle played tic tac toe and wrote notes to each other the whole time i have to go look up some stuff on how nuclear waste effects our health for this geography project i dont know what im doing help me ppl!!!

[Arawis]

I`ll never know if it is truly impossible for me to stop thinking about you... because I`ll never try.

If I had you, I wouldnt have to dream anymore.

[Arawis]

school is ok now i dont think my bio teacher hates me anymore another junior likes me but hes like best friends with the other junior who like sme so hes all depressed cuz hes supposedly "letting the other one have me" so as not to ruin the friendship im not supposed to know this of course im not even supposed to know he likes me but im psychic like that im not sure which one i like better but the one im going to homecoming with (that o knew he like dme first) said that he started to like me when i showed up at church with my friend that he goes to the same church as ( i spent the night at her house and she had to go in the morning) so im like what he didnt like me when he thought i was an atheist or what?

[Arawis]

havent been on in a while been pretty busy lots of stuff going on lost again last noght our varsity really sucks it was in keller so didnt get home till like 1am went straight to bedhad to get up at 8 this morning so we could go to Texas Motor Speedway and pass out newspapers for dallas morning news cuz they paid drill team like $1500 which will send 2 of us to florida they had a little concert thing there i only got to see 1 band called Love 45 and then part of Endochine we were supposed to be 18 to get inside the fence part so me and my friends were standing on the little flag pole type things and screaming from there and the band guys were like "hi ladies. come on in" and we were like "we're too young" but then the security guys let us in so it was all good. Love 45 was actually pretty good i cant say much about endochine because i only heard one of their songs but that one was pretty good o yeah me and my friend Kari talked ot this one really hott guy named Peter atleats thats his name unless he was lying to us :p hes part of one of the bands playing this weekend theyre called...

[Arawis]

........Pilot to Orion but we didnt get to watch them cuz they play tomorrow and not today but o well i got a hug from Peter my friend was pretty jealous :D yeah guys im serious he was HOTT! but he was like 21 so.... :rolleyes: (or so he says...) we shouldve gotten his autograph since he's part of a band but i didnt think of it till we were on our way home.... :( yah so anyways im kinda in a dilemma right now with the guy who likes me and is taking me to homecoming and his best friend who also like sme and i like tem both and i dont knwo who i like more so im just like....whatever will be will be...and my homecoming date's best friend is liek what are you gonna do and im like nothing......

[Arawis]

omg i went to the website for love 45 (www.love45.com) and i signed the guestbook and then the lead singer emailed me! look:
Thanks for hanging out and watching our show. It was hotter than hell in
Texas, but we all had a great time. I just emailed Amanda and if you would
like a CD since we didnt have any with us when we were there, maybe we could
send one to you. It might take a while since we are still waiting to get the
new shipment in. Let us know if you want one though K? I really appreciate
you guys hanging tough in the heat to watch us, that is really cool. Hope to
be out in that neck of the woods sometime in the near future. Dont be a
stranger, drop us a line once in a while to let us know how youre doing
alright? Take care and thanks again


Your pal,

Mick
(lead vocals, Love45)

jejeje!! isn't it great!!! :D

[Arawis]

GRRRRR!!!!!!!!
ok theres this junior we'll call him Bob. he liked me and he asked me to homecoming like 3 weeks ago. now i liked Bob. he was ok. but now, after i said id go to HC w/ him, hes gotten all clingy and he is really !PARANIOD! like he keeps needing assurance that i liek him or somehtin only now i dont liek him as much because he keeps being liek "do you liek me do you liek me blah blah blah..."
moving on........
Bob has a best friend, we'll call him George. i found out recently that George likes me. I also like George. George is easier for me to talk to than Bob. George isnt as uptight and worrisome. funnier, etc. you get the picture. and now i think i like George more than Bob....
moving on......
i have a friend, shes one of my best friends, we'll call her Amanda. i found out recently (after i found out george like me) that SHE likes george also. now this is one of my best friends we're talkign about here, i dont want to do anythign to hurt her.
so, im not sure i want to hook up w/ George b/c i dont want to hurt either Bob OR Amanda.

*sigh*
i hate worrying

[Arawis]

-"With current divorce rates, it seems that often times the honeymoon is over before the honeymoon is over!"

-"Most wives are like ventriloquists -they stand there noddding while the dummy does all the talking!" -Alfred E. Neuman, MAD

-"Success is achieved only by those who are less confident, kind of specific and take a relatively firm stand!"
-
"I'm not fat, I'm gravity challenged!"

-"If we really learned of our past mistakes, most of us would never get out of bed in the mourning!" -MAD

-"A young man recently died in a sudden car wreck!
Experts believe that it was the crash that killed him."-Anomynous news reporter.

-"Be wary of anyone who gives you advise that begins with, 'Be wary of...!' "

-"The difference between insanity and a genious is measured only by success!" -Eliot Carver (Tommorow Never Dies, 007)

-"If at first you don't succeed, well umm...I guess your like everyone else"

-"Every night the second musketeer comes to me in a dream and tells me that I must venture out into the wilderness and buy one of his candy bars with a 1/3 less fat than other chocolate bars." -JimmyJunks

-"When in deep water, best you keep your mouth shut." -MAD

-"Hey, what's up with that idiot, swinging around a rolled up news paper, haha! Wait a minute, what the...!" -the fly.

-"You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends nose."

-"If you can't DODGE it, RAM it!"

-"Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film."

-"A day without sunlight is like, well, night."

-"Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't."

-"On the other hand, you have different fingers."

-"He's not dead, he's electroencephaloghraphically challenged."

-"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you." -average US cop

-"Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off."

-"You can't have everything, where would you put it."

-"Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the worlds population."

-"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."

-"I still miss my ex, but my aim is improving."

-"What is going on here? And I want a non-gay explination!" -Homor Simpson

-"Don't play leep frog with a unicorn!"

-"I used to be a kleptomaniac, but I took something for it"

-"Here I am, now what were your other two wishes?"

-"If the world's a stage, where is the adience sitting?"

-"Darnn right I'm good in bed- I can sleep for days!"

-"Technically one would write "vertical' horizontally in most cases."

-"You may have looked at the Latin roots of the word 'analogy' and concluded that it is a scientific study of the human butt.
I assure you that this is not the case..."

-"Do or do not, there is no try." -Pri$m

-"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." -T.S. Elliot

-"Sex is not the answer.
It is only the question.
Yes is the answer."

-"I would help the homeless, but I don't know their address or where they live."

-"As I said before, I never repeat myself."

-"Don't take life too serious, no one ever gets out of it alive anyway."

-"I never miss." -James Bond, 007

-""I intend to live forever. So far, so good!"

-"When everything's going your way, you're driving in the wrong lane."

-"The biggest risk of all is not taking a risk at all!"

[Arawis]

"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
Terry Pratchett.

"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself."
Peter O'Toole.

"If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences."
William Sunday.

"In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it."
Dave Thomas.

"If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?"
George Deacon.

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
Emo Philips.

[Arawis]

"Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it."
W. Somerset Maugham.

"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die."
Joe Louis.

"Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you."
Woody Allen.

"All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing."
Maurice Maeterlinck.

"A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic."
Joseph Stalin.

"In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes."
Benjamin Franklin.

"Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist."
Epicurus.

"After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one."
Cato the Elder (234-149 B.C.).

[Arawis]

"The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault."
Henry Kissinger.

Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes."
Oscar Wilde ('Lady Windemere's Fan' 1892).

"It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent."
Dave Barry.

"A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
Herm Albright.

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so."
Douglas Adams.

"It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But... it is better to be good than to be ugly."
Oscar Wilde ('The Picture of Dorian Gray' 1891).

"We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police."
Jeff Marder.

"Martyrdom: The only way a man can become famous without ability."
George Bernard Shaw.

"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."
Socrates.

[Arawis]

"You piss me off you Salmon... You're too expensive in restaurants."
Eddie Izzard.

"A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch."
James Beard.

"Ice-cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn't illegal."
Voltaire.

"Anything is good if it's made of chocolate."
Jo Brand.

"The perfect lover is one who turns into pizza at 4am."
Charles Pierce.

"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are."
Matt Lauer (on NBC's Today Show).

[Arawis]

Dusty skys, the lights have dimmed the less i see in. confused eyes, the less i know the more ive learned in dieing,crying, knowing the fall so well you take the step, crashing to the floor, surrounding bodies soar. fell the heat no more and, Sail, across the faded seas. Fly out, no aim just goin far.

[Arawis]

i forgot to post about homecoming but it was on September 20th and we actually won our game!! its the first win of this season adn also the first time we've one homecoming in like 4 years so, yeah thats good.the dance was pretty fun despite the fact BOB was being sorta clingy......

[Arawis]

yeah, so tomorrow is the first cut for All-state tryouts (choir) i dont think im gonna do very well, they narrow it down to the top 36 and theres gonna be like at;eats 150 ppl there so.....but its ok, i still got 3 more years after this to try so its all good. i get out of class at 1 pm *cheer* which means i get to miss my geography test *cheeragain* we leave the school at 2:30 and go to Plano East....or is it Plano West....? o well. we'll probly not get home till like 10 pm so i gotta take my homework and stuff with me. we're gonna go eat something after its all over. we all painted our toenails funky bright colors (all the judges will see is our feet because of the curtain) and hopefully our teacher (whos judging some of the soprano 2 which is what i am) will see us and make our scores slightly higher. they thro out the highest and lowest scores so thats why she cant make it TOO high. anyway, i doubt ill make this cut but, theres always next year :)

[Arawis]

well, i didnt make it (no surprise) but my friend lauren whos also a freshman did!!! also 7 other peopel made it. i think thats pretty good considering our school only took 17. i think lewisvile and hebron took liek 30 and 40 kids, and they didnt have more than us make it so its good to know we're at the same level as them. the next cut is on saturday so i hope htey do ok.....

[Arawis]

met a girl, thought she was grand
fell in love, found out first hand
went well for a week or two
then it all came unglued

in a trap, trip i cant grip
never thought id be the one who'd slip
then i started to realize
i was livin one big lie
she fuckin hates me
just she fuckin hates me, lalalala
i tried too hard and she tore my feelings like i had none
and ripped them away

she was queen for about an hour
after that, shit got sour
she took all i ever had
no sign of guilt, no feeling of bad
no!

in a trap, trip i cant grip
never thought id be the one who'd slip
then i started to realize
i was livin one big lie
she fuckin hates me!
just she fuckin hates me, lalalala
i tried too hard and she tore my feelings like i had none
and ripped them away

thats my story, as you see
learned my lesson and so did she
now its over and im glad
cuz im a fool for all ive said
she fuckin hates me!
just she fuckin hates me! lalalala
i tried too hard and she tore my feelings like i had none
and ripped them away
lalalalalalalala
she fuckin hates me!!!!!!!

Puddle of Mud>She Hates Me

[Arawis]

well my friend Kari's brother was in the denton county section of The Dallas Morning News as the spotlight thing, but they took a bad picture of him which was kinda funny and then they put downt hat he played basketball....he plays baseball......so we were laughing :p
i think i like one of my really good friends, we've only been friends for like a year cuz we didnt know each other before then, but we are pretty close and i think i like him.......so yeah. im just like... :confused:
mmm i made a 99 on my biology exam and a 99 on my wd geo exam, we didnt have an exam in choir or drill team so yeah......
well i dont really have anythign else ot say at the moment.....maybe in a lil while.....

[Arawis]

......

[Arawis]

....

[Arawis]

................................................................

[Arawis]

here we go again.....

[Arawis]

ok, ignore the last 4 posts :p

[Arawis]

I LOST 12 POUNDS!

just lettin everyone know ;) :p

[Arawis]

well, we won our game last night, which means we'll be going to play-offs. which is good! :) of course it also means i have to go somewhere ona saturday which is not good :(

[Arawis]

alright, so i mentioned Joe right? he's one of my close guy friends, probably my closest guy friend (even though ive only known him for a year) and now i like him. theres a CHANCE he likes me.....but im not sure. i dont want to screw things up so im not going to let him know i like him. if he finds out i like him and he doesnt like me he'll probably never talk to me again, so im trying to play it cool if ya know what i mean.

[Arawis]

nothing to do
outside there are people
watch them play
look away
staying in doors for another day

[Arawis]

does anyone actually read this thread?
IF YOU ARE READING THIS THREAD, PM ME.

[Arawis]

out of time
nowhere to hide
butterflies squirming
on the inside
out of hope
out of luck
too late
now im stuck
find a way
to get out
nobody to help
noone about
on my own
waiting
tick tock
to see who casts the first stone

[Arawis]

wow, 7 (yes, i said 8!! ) people actually read this crap
~is surprised~

[Arawis]

you're out of reach and im too blind to find you.

[Arawis]

well, i just got back home (ive been at school since 7:00 am, its now 11:00 pm)
tonight was opening night for The Wizard of Oz. we did ok, not great, but not horrible. i didnt screw up on the jitterbug scene as much as i expected myself to :p
there is a really hott guy in orchestra.
all in all it was fun, but i am really tired after that 14 hour school day since i only got 5 hours of sleep last night and i wont get any more tonight.
tomorrow we do the show again, then on saturday i have voice lessons in the morning, playoff game against Irving Nimitz Vikings at Texas Stadium at 4:00 but i have to e up at the school already dressed at 1:30. then i have the Wizard of Oz last show at 7:30 (which means me and the other people in it are leaving the game during 4th quarter) then my friend is making me spend the night at her house so i can go to church :mad: with her on sunday and try and get this guy she likes to think im a psycho ?:dozey: he already thinks im weird. then i have to do a fundraiser that is due on monday but NOBODY wants to buy :mad: then i have to have all my homework done on monday. :dozey: school sucks.

im gonna go eat now cuz i havent eaten at all today except for a few fries i mooched of friends at lunch.

[Arawis]

Sex Mathmatics:
This is pretty neat how it works out.
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It only takes about a minute...
Work this out as you read. First of all, pick the # of times a week that you would like to have sex.(try for more than 1 less than 10)
Multiply this number by 2.
Add 5.
Multiply it by 50.
If you already had your birthday this year, add 1752.
If you haven't, add 1751.
Subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number.

First digit is your original number
(i.e., how many times you want to have sex each week).
Next two numbers are your age.

i love those things like that :D

[Arawis]

people talk too much.
do you think im listening?
thinking of important things...

[Arawis]

well i just got home fromt his little recital thing that my private lesson teacher and another voice teacher put on. i did ok, except my voice was a little froggy on the first line, but i cleared my throat and recovered. i sang Nuit d'etoiles by Claude Debussy. its a really pretty song, but i didnt sing it as pretty as it could be sung. :( my friend Rachel did WONDERFUL as usual. she has such a beautiful voice, im jealous. she sang an Irish folk song so of course i loved it right off the bat (i have irish blood in me) it was sooooooo pretty. it was called "The Lass From the Low Countree" i still have the tune stuck in my head :) i asked her ot brign me a copy of it.

[Arawis]

<center><a href="http://www.twisted-tantrums.net/onemile/drug.html"><img border="0" src="http://www.twisted-tantrums.net/onemile/caffiene.jpg"></a><br><font size="2"><a href="http://www.twisted-tantrums.net/onemile/drug.html">What kind of Drug Addict are you?</a></center>

You are known for being a bit on the weird/insane side. You LOOOVE to party around and go crazy with close friends. You do have some down times from your activeness. You are either jumping up and down or frozen like a statue. Sometimes you feel like you can't control yourself.

<p align=center><a href="http://www.daydreamings.com/disney" target="_blank" style="border: none"><img src="http://www.daydreamings.com/disney/small_jasmine.gif" width=300 height=80 alt="I am Jasmine!" border=0></a><br>Which <a href="http://www.daydreamings.com/disney" target="_blank">Disney Princess</a> are you?</p>

You are one of the first Disney princesses to stand up for her rights as a woman. While you may NOT be a prize to be won, you are still quite the hottie, especially in that red harem girl outfit. Even when things may not seem the best at home, try to remember that running away from your problems solves little. You are easily tricked and manipulated, both by your enemies and people who love you. You have a special fondness for tigers

[Arawis]

hmm since im bored im going to put the most-read threads up here:

1) mp
2) LT
3) arch
4) amelia
5) nf
6) me

woo! number 6 out of 32 aint bad...... ;)

[Arawis]

why do you make this so hard?
fuck social egos and moral responsibility
time is up

[Arawis]

ok this happened liek a week ago, but i something just reminded me of it and i had to write about it. o my god, i went out to try and sell this fundraiser thing and i knocked on this guys door. he answered and i started talking "hi im doing a fundraiser for choir up at the high school-" and all of a sudden he interrupts me and says "not on sunday at supper-time" i stopped and i was liek "oh, im sorry. i didnt realize anyone would be eating this early" its 4:30 in the fuckin afternoon! who eats that early?!? its not liek he was 60 or somehting! then i was about to leave and he went on he goes "are you having alot of luck today?" and he said it all mocking-like as if he just doubted i was because oh my god! shes out selling fundraiser stuff on a sunday! blasphemy! send her to hell! or something. so i was like "yeah" of course i said yes! if i said no that would make him feel all superior and right and i cant let THAT happen. anyway, it was just bullshit.

[Arawis]

i see you trying to hide, you self-centered hypocrit. the shadows are transparent.



the shadows are not solid.

[Arawis]

what you say is true.

but this doesn't change my mind.

bang. you are dead.

[Arawis]

posted by Nero
No, kids don't walk around in plaid pants or listen to music during lunch......her rap/hip hop music, shes in high school what can you expect?

i dont?
hey now...IM in high school and i happen to have GOOD taste in music, not some crappy rap..... :grumbles:

[Arawis]

well, i had a nice thanksgiving break, of course i didnt do an of my homework during my week off so im cramming it all in on sunday afternoon (as usual) ;)
ive been surviving on milk pie and cookies since friday :D yummuy :p
saw the chamber of secrets, it wasnt as good as i hoped, the movie seemed to rushed due to the fact that a whole lot of stuff had to be cut out. it was still good though, and dan and tom are cute so..... :blush:
got some more scrubs from scrubs 'n' beyond, only these ones are made by dickies (teehee, i love dickies :blush: ) and i got a free dickies medical shirt *cheer4freestuff*

i also bought shadow of the hegemon (orson scott card, part of the ender series) its really great, i think one of the reaosns i liek it so much is it has a lot to do with bean and petra and they are my favorite chars :D i love these books. i wasnt a big fan of the whole children of the mind/speaker for the dead ones where he is older, but i abcolutely love ender's game, ender's shadow, and shadow of the hegemon. except, in the book, we just found out something that has made me very sad :cry: i almost cried (yes, i sometimes cry over books)

[Arawis]

well, yesterday we had our concert with the Rich-Tones!!! they totally blew me away, i mean i knew they were gonna be good, but they were so AWESOME!!! i bought their christmas cd :D i got goosebumps throughout like the whole thing (i get goosebumps when someone sings really really good) we did good too, they might invite us back again next year. also, there is some group from Fort Worth who is thinking about having us perform with them

[Arawis]

25 Ways to Annoy Your Roommate at Christmas

1. Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody murder and thrash on the floor.

2. Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on Santa's lap. Refuse to get off.

3. Wear a Santa suit all the time. Deny you're wearing it.

4. Sit in a corner in the fetal position rocking back and forth chanting, "Santa Claus is coming to town, Santa Claus is coming to town..."

5. Hang mistletoe in the doorway. When your roommate enters or leaves the room, plant a wet one on his/her lips.

6. Hang a stocking with your roommate's name on it. Put collect coal and sharp objects in it. If s/he asks, scowl and say, "You've been very naughty this year."

7. Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how you never get to join in on the reindeer games.

8. Make conversation out of Christmas Carols. (e.g., "You know, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night.")

9. Wrap yourself in Christmas lights and roll around in the snow.

10. Sing: "All I want for Christmas is my roommate's two front teeth..."

11. Give your roommate the gifts from the twelve days of Christmas song.

12. Build a snowperson with your roommate and place a hat on its head. When it doesn't come to life, cry hysterically.

13. Whip your roommate with a belt while screaming, "Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Donner, and Blitzen, etc."

14. Tear down all your roommate's Christmas decorations yelling, "Bah Humbug!"

15. Wake up every morning screaming, "Ghost of Christmas Future, please have mercy on my soul!"

16. Tell your roommate you're moving out. Santa's buying you a house on 34th Street.

17. Pin a pointsetta to your lapel.

18. Make anatomically correct gingerbread people and eat the best parts first.

19. Put on a fake white beard and insist that all your roommate's friends "give it a yank."

20. Ring jingle bells maniacally saying, "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings!"

21. Stand in front of the mirror reciting "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" over and over in your underwear.

22. Smoke mistletoe. Do what comes naturally.

23. Watch your roommate when s/he is sleeping. When s/he wakes up sing, "He sees you when you're sleeping..."

24. Steal a life-sized nativity scene and display it in your room. When your roommate asks, tell him/her "I had to let them stay here, there's no room at the inn."

25. When your roommate goes to the bathroom, rearrange his/her possessions. Tell him/her that Santa's elves must have done it.

[Arawis]

Politically Correct Christmas Rules

l. Do not call Santa's helpers elves. Such references are considered rude and ill-mannered ever since Mr. Claus was accused of exploiting the height impaired.

2. Do not call it X-mas. Members of the gene pool became irate that there was no Y-mas.

3. If you are a female, do not expect to sit on Santa's lap. He's just finished depositions in a sexual harassment lawsuit. Said Santa with a tear in his eye, "I only asked her to sit on my knee and tell me what she wanted for Christmas."

4. Christmas Eve is out. The term "Eve" carries an overwhelming gender connotation that might be disturbing to some. From now on it's just the night before Christmas, please.

5. The night before Christmas might have to be moved to a different date anyway. Animal rights protesters want the reindeer to have the night off. And Christmas Day. And aren't reindeer on the endangered species list?

6. "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" has got to go.

7. And who named Bethlehem anyway? Beth?

8. Do not, under any circumstances, give dolls as gifts this year. They suggest a male-oriented fantasy that little girls could never up to grow into.

9. And avoid giving fruitcakes. They are clogging our landfills and you might get the Environmental Protection Agency after you.

10. Do not hang mistletoe. Unless you live alone.

11. Do not take your loved one to see any version of A Christmas Carol. The Department of Children and Family Services is said to be investigating how Tiny Tim ended up in such dire circumstances. Scrooge is also reportedly under investigation for money-laundering.

[Arawis]

the mirror does not look like them, i guess it never will

[Arawis]

ok, last night was the 2nd annual Battle of the Bands!!! its where some bands in TC get together and they each play 2 or 3 songs, and then the audience votes on who is the best
i was cheering for NC*17 cuz my friend's b/f is the drummer, whyt echo cuz this guy im 'talking' to is in it, Havoc Bend cuz my friend's b/f is in it, and Phyrework cuz my friend is in it.
here are the results:

1) NC*17 (even though i dont think they were the best)
won: gig at Trees in Deep Ellum, bunch of cds and crap

2) Whyt Echo (i think they were the best :D )
won: gig at Dream world, cds and crap

3) Phyrework
won: some cds and candy and such

[edit] o yeah, the other bands that played but didnt win anything were: Havoc Bend, Playmind, Nosebleed, None, Horse, and ......well, there was another band but i just went mind blank so....

[edit2] Tailgate!! thats who it was!! lol

[Arawis]

this silence is false.

[Arawis]

cant escape from fragile entrapments.
lonesome fears
when Death walks in broad daylight.

[Arawis]

well, all we are doing in choir this week is watching movies and today we were watching mulan. i didnt want to watch it and my friend 'George' has been bringing his acoustic to school to practice during that time so today i was like "hey George! i KNOW you want to teach me how to play the guitar.... ;) " teehee. so anywho, we went in the practice room and i listened to him play for a while and then he asked me what i wanted to learn, and since he knows like a billion songs i couldnt really say, but he had been playing 'aerials' by soad earlier so i was just like 'teach me to play that!" so im starting to learn it. i know the very very very beginning (well, after the 3 long notes) and i have to play them really slow, but i only had like 10 minutes before him and matt took it away from me! so give me a break! lol i think i did pretty good for that short of time... besaides, i dont think Claire likes me... :( but hopefully she'll warm up to me. :)


edit: i think mp and george would get along, just like the way they think of music. ;) ( he hates nickelback, linkin park, but loves radiohead, etc.)

[Arawis]

well, school got out yesterday, i think i got a really good grade on my geo exam. my secret santa in choir was sarah, she got me THE CUTEST little ty dragon plushie! its white and sparkly!! i carry it around the house with me lol, i love dragons and stuffed animals so its perfect!! teehee :D

today my grandparents and aunt/uncle are comign over and i get to open presents from them!! we used to do this on christmas eve, but we never do anymore.

[Arawis]

(ok, so i got this idea form reading mp's reflections, but o well.)

i dislike/am annoyed by the following:

*George W. Bush
*posers
*spinach
*most african-american female names that consist of 10 letters or
more
*political correctness
*humid weather
*most little kids
*olive green
*BBMak
*when people spell normal names strangely, ie: Ashleey. wtf?!
*books that tend to go nowhere in the plot and give me a
headache
*most modern rap
*asparagus
*britney spears
*the smell of fish
*Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon
*crooked teeth
*white people who think they are mexican
*ugly patterns
*guys with body hair (chest, back)
*bees
*avril lavigne
*people who think everyone cares what the hell is on their mind
EVERY SECOND OF THE FUCKING DAY
*that guy on those commercials
*when people take good food/drinks and ruin it by adding
something extra
*people who think they are funny when they aren't
*sociables (the crackers)
*most cheerleaders
*when people talk all during a movie/tv show
*players who try to play me
*bleu cheese
*wiggers
*beets
*people who are perky ALL THE FUCKIN TIME!
*movies with subtitles
*people who critisize every single thing
*gung-ho religious people
*people who talk too much
*fat people who wear skimpy clothes
*Sum 41
*salsa that isnt spicy
**people who complain about salsa that isnt spicy being too spicy

this will be added to

[Arawis]

well, i dont know if i will be on tomorrow cuz i think we are going down to visit Uncle Heck and the rest of the family....so, in advance:

MERRY
XMAS!!!!

:D

[Arawis]

How many special people change
How many lives are living strange
Where were you when we were getting high?
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannon ball
Where were you while we were getting high?

Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova in the sky

Wake up the dawn and ask her why
A dreamer dreams she never dies
Wipe that tear away now from your eye
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannon ball
Where were you when we were getting high?

Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova in the sky

Cos people believe that they're
Gonna get away for the summer
But you and I, we live and die
The world's still spinning round
We don't know why
Why, why, why, why

How many special people change
How many lives are living strange
Where were you when we were getting high?
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannon ball
Where were you while we were getting high?

Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Some day you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova in the sky

Cos people believe that they're
Gonna get away for the summer
But you and I, we live and die
The world's still spinning round
We don't know why
Why, why, why, why

How many special people change
How many lives are living strange
Where were you when we were getting high?
We were getting high
We were getting high
We were getting high
We were getting high

~Oasis: Champagne Supernova

[Arawis]

i like/am not annoyed by the following:

*green
*cheesecake
*good music
*'alias'
*the distillers
*people who are religious as long as they dont try to pass it off on me
*clouds
*weird movies (ex: u-turn, kalifornia, the others, frailty, many many more)
*josh hartnett
*skaters
*italian food
*abc sitcoms
*lemonade
*sean connery
*soccer
*silverchair
*people who know what they are talking about
*any spicy food
*jessica alba
*the people who work at the donut shop
*pie
*pin-stripes
*gift certificates
*eddie izzard
*His Dark Materials
*chocolate
*misfits
*Harry Potter
*guys who smell good :)
*jim florentine
*tennis shoes
*Queen
*tall guys
*dragons
*swimming
*mexican food
*gwen stefani
*elijah wood
*nice people
*Dr. Seuss
*'its a wonderful life'

[Arawis]

Dead leaves and the dirty ground
when I know you're not around
shiny tops and soda pops
when I hear your lips make a sound

Thirty notes in the mailbox
will tell you that I'm coming home
and I think I'm gonna stick around
for a while so you're not alone

If you can hear a piano fall
you can hear me coming down the hall
if I could just hear your pretty voice
I don't think I need to see at all

Soft hair and a velvet tongue
I want to give you what you give to me
and every breath that is in your lungs
is a tiny little gift to me

I didn't feel so bad till the sun went down
then I come home
no one to wrap my arms around

Well any man with a microphone
can tell you what he loves the most
and you know why you love at all
if you're thinking of the holy ghost

~The White Stripes: Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground

[Arawis]

yes, once again i be bored. so im makign another list of most viewed threads in reflections (no arch, once again i did not include WTP ;) )

1) mp (still)
2)arch
3)LT
4)me!!! teehee :D
5) malcor

i dont think 4 out of....alot...is too shabby ;) though i am surprised so many people care what is written here lol

[Arawis]

Every single time I see you I start to feel this way
It makes me wonder if I'm ever gonna feel this way again
There's a picture that's hanging at the back of my head
I see it over and over

I want to hold you and love you in my arms and then
I want to need you 'cause I need to be with you 'til the end
Then I hear myself reply you've got to hold it in
This time tonight

chorus
If only I had the guts to feel this way
And if only you'd look at me and want to stay
And if only I'd take you in my arms and say
I won't go 'cause I need you
'Cause I need you

I sit here waiting wondering hoping that I'll make this right
'Cause all I think about is your hands
Your face and all these lonely nights
There's a feeling screaming in the back of my head
Saying over and over

I want to hold you love you in my arms and then
I want to need you 'cause I need to be with you 'til the end
Then I hear myself reply she'll never let you in
This time tonight

If only I had the guts to feel this way
And if only you'd look at me and want to stay
And if only I'd take you in my arms and say
I won't go 'cause I need you
Please don't go 'cause I need you now

I want to hear you say
It'll always be this way
We'll be hand in hand for every night and every day
I want to scream and shout
'Cause I'm losing any doubt
And all I care about is you and me and us and now

Oh yeah

Yeah

If only I had the guts to feel this way
And if only you'd look at me and want to stay
And if only I'd take you in my arms and say
I won't go 'cause I need you
Please don't go 'cause I need you now


~Hanson: If only

[Arawis]

I wanted to be like you
I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you
And I got swept away

I didn't know that it was so cold
And you needed someone to show you the way
So I took your hand and we figured out
That when the tide comes I'd take you away

If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares

I'm sinking slowly
So hurry hold me
Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on
Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone

If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares

All you wanted was somebody who cares
If you need me you know I'll be there
Oh, yeah

If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares

Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone

~Michelle Branch: All you wanted

[Arawis]

Maybe your luck has changed
Settle down
Maybe I'm just deranged
And on the rebound
Maybe love was the thing
Holding me back from all
Maybe I'm just the thing
To break my own fall

Take the rope to my heart and fall
You may just be the last before you
See the black tangled heart fall

Maybe departure's good
Makes room for more
Start to mass produce
For a chance to ignore
Maybe you'll kill yourself
Before I get a turn
Maybe I'll fall in love
And never learn

Take the rope to my heart and fall
You may just be the last before you
See the black tangled heart fall

~Silverchair: Black tangled heart


yes, yes, i posted 3 songs in a row. i felt like doing it, if i waited so theyd be integrated id never do it.

[Arawis]

ahh! i just had a momentary panic. i typed in www.wotism.net and it said the server couldnt find the adress!! it did this twice!!!!! :eek: i almost had a heartattack!! but i tried again a few mins later and it worked so... *whew*

[Arawis]

today me my mom and my older brother (the one who lives w/ me, not the half-brother) went and saw the two towers. i was hoping it would be better than the 1st, and it was by far, so that was good :p

im not doing anything in particular tonight,t here is this little concert thing that some local bands are playing at, and i would go, but none of my friends have called to tell me to come and i dont want to call one of them and seem liek a tag-along. besides, jack's band is playing (the guy from whyt echo, we were 'talking', that fell through) and i dont really feel like seeing him. hes been an asshole. besides, i still have his beanie and i dont feel like giving it back yet :p jajaja

[Arawis]

::ARA'S NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS::

*lose weight
*do 200 crunches every day (actually started this on sunday..)
*stop stealing people's food during lunch, its not helping me lose weight
*try and talk to people more, stop being sucha house-rat
*let my emotions out and tell people what i really think whenever they start pissing me off or acting condescending, i always keep them bottled up (george has been trying to tell me i should do this, he says my way of dealing with emotions cant last forever and that it leads down a short road to a breakdown or some such)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! :)
~throws confetti~

[Arawis]

wish i was too dead to cry
-too dead to care

wish i'd died instead of lived

[Arawis]

how can you see into my eyes like open doors?

[Arawis]

No more maybes
Your baby's got rabies
Sitting on a ball
In the middle of the Andes

Yeah, I'm a freak of nature
Yeah, I'm a freak

If only I could be as cool as you
As cool as you

Body and soul, I'm a freak, Im a freak
Body and soul, I'm a freak, Im a freak

Try to be different
Well get a different disease
Seems it's in fashion
To need the coldsore cream

Yeah, im a freak of nature
Yeah, im a freak

I don't really know
How to put on a 'cool' show
As boring as they come
Just tell me where to go

If only I could be as cool as you
As cool as you..

~Silverchair:Freak

[Arawis]

"Well I dreamt that this huge rat came out of your closet and ran down the hall and i was screaming RAT! RAT!"

"Jeez, she's needier than a baby. I guess. .....Babies look very needy on t.v..."

~Less than Perfect

[Arawis]

download these two things:

king missile>the commercial
cake>the cheesecake truck

:D very funny

[Arawis]

ok, so i never told yall about this, but last semester i got these notes from this freaky guy saying things like "i love you, ive never said that to a girl before, except my mom but that was only once.." and weird shit like that. well anwho, i havnt gotten one in like a month or two so i was thinking he had stopped you know?
wrong.
last night he sent me an IM first he was just like
"hello" so i was like "hello. who is this?" and he was liek "this is "first name" right?" so i was like "yeah.." and he was liek " 'first name' 'last name'?" and i was like "how many 'first name' s do you know?"
"only one
"thats what i thought"
"O, well this is 'jason'"
and i didnt make the connection at the time, between this 'jason' and the stalker-type guy 'jason', i had sortof forgotten about him so i was just like "ok.."
then he goes "what time are you getting to school tomorrow?"
"6:45 or so"
"oh, early"
"yeah i guess.."
"well, can you meet me by your locker by 8:05?"
(he knows where my locker is, thats where he put some of the notes.)
"i have to practice."
(which was basically a lie because we practice from 7-8 then we get a break till school starts at 8:45)
"well, i have something i need to give you, i was supposed to give it to you today, but your friends were around.."
now im thinking ok, his s/n worries me, i think im going to die or something.. (his s/n was something about born to kill..)
by now i was TOTALLY freaked so i was like "brb"
and i put up an away message, thinking eventually he would figure out im not coming back and just get off, but noooo, i keep checking and he's still on. so after 30 minutes im like "sorry it took so long, my brother distracted me. i have to go now, hes kicking me off"
and i signed off. now i have him blocked. its scary.

[Arawis]

SNOW!

[Arawis]

ouch.

[Arawis]

i love get fuzzy..

[Arawis]

o yes, there is more :cool:

[Arawis]

muahaha..

[Arawis]

*evil*

[Arawis]

i plan on continuing this until your head explodes..or very near to that.

[Arawis]

MORE!

[Arawis]

:D

[Arawis]

:)

[Arawis]

:p

[Arawis]

:)

[Arawis]

:D

[Arawis]

ok, last of get fuzzy....for now...muahaha ;)

[Arawis]

my feelings exactly.

[Arawis]

haha...oh, that danae.. :cool:

[Arawis]

last one for now guys, i promise. :)

[Arawis]

My CBA that burns / we watch the world as it turns / we see the men who got shot down / but it isn't as profound on the other side / No it doesn't make us frown on the other side / No our tears don't make us drown...

Watch as the news week does fall down / Watch as our tears begin to drown

Horse: Illusion

(words by Mike Manser, music by Andy Holden)

[Arawis]

well, on monday, tuesday and wednesday we had tryouts for the competition dances in drill team, and i made all 3. so thats good.
my favorite is the military one, and today we finally learned the stunt. what it is is there are groups of 4 people, 2 people grab one of the person's arms and lift her up, and the 3rd person (thats me in ym group, this is the hardest part too) pushes her legs back so that the flyer is flat in the air, then she bends her legs at the kneew, so ishe looks kind like an airplane. (it has airplane and bombing noises in this part of the song)
i was going to be the flyer person in our group, but then one of the people missed 7am practice so she got replaced by my friend, and we all decided that she should be the one that goes up because she is smaller. (i mean size, im still the shortest in my group, i think that was the only reason i would have been a flyer in the first place)
so anywho, my left arm is really weak, so it hurts to move it right now lol :p

channel 8 news is coming on thursday because they are using The Colony for their 'Family First' thing, so i have to perform the pom routine for drill team (the officers are doing their military dance too) and sing this song 'Java Jive" (which is about being addicted to coffee during the ration in WW2) for choir :p i like that song. its very....relaxed ;)

[Arawis]

You're stepping down to watch the waves / question morals and what to blame / you write your wrongs, you change your rights / you won't be coming home tonight

Feel the presure as you squeeze / see the tears start to bleed / hopeless feelings you'll never tell / on this one way trip to...

Destiny's Brawl / She won't be coming home tonight

Horse: Destiny's Brawl

(words/music by Mike Manser)

[Arawis]

ok, so, on sunday im sitting around bored, and my friend tells me to go to this website. www.habbo.com its a virtual chatroom, you make a person (habbo) and you can walk around the rooms and talk to people. so, i made my person with a red mohawk and her clothes weren't really matching per se...
anywho, the point is, this chick (supposedly ;) ) came up to me and was just being a bitch. for no reason. the following conversation occured:

you look gay

( i was talking on IM at the same time, so i just ignored her)

are you a girl or a guy?
a girl
eww, look at your hair
ive seen it
your style is so out
define "out"
shut up
you started talking to me
im in your out ok get it got it good
into what? obviously yourself..
all you care about it looks
all i care about is looks, hmm, if this were true i would be like you
shut the hell up
you keep talkign to me only to say shut up, why is this?
*walks away*

(so i go stand by my friend who told me to go on int he first place. hes doing this little danc eyou can make your person do, its kind of stupid, but funny :p anywho, she follows me)

(to friend)stop dancing
no
yes, you look gay. stop dancing
never!!!
why do you care if he stops dancing, your on THE INTERNET, its not as if you could be associated with him and get embarassed
your style is so out
are you still talking about my hair? have you no other comments??

(at this point she leaves, a lil bit later i get off to go do soemthing. about, say, 2 hours later, i get back on and i see her. she of course, comes back up to me)

remember me?
(playing dumb, hoping she'll go away or soemthing)
huh?
do you remember me?
umm...no
eww, look at your hair. remember now
oh yeah
haha *walks away*

(app. 1 minute later, walks back up)

i hate you so much
indeed
yes, i hate you so much
why are you picking fights in a chat room? are you too much of a loser to win one in real life?

(she leaves)

but then i talked to this cool guy about music, so it was all good :)

so then, last night i get on, and she comes up and apologizes!! :eek: short and simple, but apologized nontheless. i was like, well that takes all the fun out of it.. :mad:
jajaja

[Arawis]

ok, i dont remember if i posted about this, but my choir teacher convinced me to do a solo at UIL competition..i wasnt goign to, but ont he last day you could turn int he sheet she was liek "are you SURE you dont want to do one?" and everybody was liek "just do it.." so i am..the first contest is on feb 1st... i dont think ill dot hat good, because im nto very good at singing solo (hence, why i am in CHOIR) but o well. its not like it will count against me or anything.. :p

[Arawis]

ok, so im tryign to get an electric guitar, but i need more money if i want to geta good one, plus i need an amp, etc. so, i devised this GENIUS plan. i got a little cashews can and put the panuts in a plastic baggie. then i put paper around it and cut a slit in the lid. now i am walkign around during school asking people for momeny. today was my first day doign it and i made $21 :p that brings my total up to $147.32 :D jajaja

[Arawis]

http://whytechomusic.batcave.net/
www.horsemusic.net
www.phyrework.cjb.net

ok, i now have $180. Ill be able to get my guitar soon, then im gonna borrow one of george's amps till i get my own. so thats good :cool: jajaja

[Arawis]

muaha.. i love pandas!! :D

[Arawis]

teehee, dragosn are just cool, and these ones cute!

[Arawis]

coolweird

[Arawis]

eclipse

[Arawis]

ice in your eyes.

[Arawis]

alexis_in_shadows_3

[Arawis]

i apologize for all these posts, im trying to figure out which files are which..

[Arawis]

hybrid

[Arawis]

nothing is really special about these pictures, do not feel obligated to look at them...as i said, i just dont remember which are which..

[Arawis]

LB

[Arawis]

marapinup

[Arawis]

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.

"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.

"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"

"No silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."

"So then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."

"So then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."

[Arawis]

drgn&wiz

[Arawis]

well, that is all i will subject you poor fools to for now ;) teehee
im off to the mall.
hopefully hot topic will have my belt this time :mad:
:p

[Arawis]

real.

[Arawis]

yeah right- with me?
the whole world's against me.
no use to keep trying,
this time i feel like dying.

when the bells ring at last
and the daylight is fading
ill find the end of Living Lane
and there you'll catch me waiting..

Combat Miraculous: untitled

[Arawis]

ok, i got my tempo clothes!! the pants are navy blue (and quite comfy :) ) and say TEMPO on the ass and '02-'03 on the left thigh (both in orange) the shirt is orange and says THIS IS MY CHOIR SHIRT on the back and on the front left where logos go it says < TEMPO > (both in navy)

so anyway, last week i never posted how district solo/ensemble competition went. (district is a prep-type thing for UIL) i got a 1. heres what the judge said:

pretty pretty voice.

Major problem with breath management. One should be able to sing more than a few words in a phrase. Work on your diction more. I'm giving the benefit of the doubt today because of your being a 9th grader and because of the really nice voice quality. A judge next year will not be as nice if don't eliminate those major problems.

ok, i could only do a few breaths at a time because the cd was super slow. but yesterday at UIL my teacher played for me so i didnt sing with the cd...surprisingly i was alot less nervous yesterday than i was last week..
i got a 1. heres what the judge said:

Good afternoon.
A lovely voice - great attention to the text - Diction nice & tall vowels.
Consonants crisp & clean - overall effect - very musical. More pp @ m. 23.
Thanks so much for being so well prepared. A good job & good luck!

she was nice :)

[Arawis]

Love is a flame that can't be tamed
And though we are its willing prey, my darling
We are not the ones to blame

Trust is a word all lovers know
The glorious art of staining souls, my darling
We are not the ones to blame
The more we have the more we want
And the more it hurts our hearts, my baby
It always ends up in tears

So keep on pretending
Our heaven is worth the waiting
Keep on pretending it's alright
So keep on pretending
It will be the end of our craving
Keep on pretending
It's alright

When doubts arise the game begins
The one we will never win, my baby
It always ends up in tears...

So keep on pretending
Our heaven is worth the waiting
Keep on pretending it's alright
So keep on pretending
It will be the end of our craving
Keep on pretending
It's alright

So keep on pretending
Our heaven is worth the waiting
Keep on pretending it's alright
So keep on pretending
It will be the end of our craving
Keep on pretending
It's alright

Love is a flame that can't be tamed
And though we are its willing prey, my darling
We are not the ones to blame

HIM: Pretending

[Arawis]

please dont ask me what i think, just think, you dont really want to know

point me to the sky above, i cant get there on my own

the mirror doesnt look like them
i guess it never will


is it your face thats got u down?
or is it your mind when no ones around?

i went to school today with an uzi, theres this kid, he teased me, so i shot him in the face


this plane is definately crashing
this boat is obviously sinking

[Arawis]

well, i forgot to post this, but last weekend i got my guitar!!! :D here she is, her name is Evelyn

[Arawis]

yesterday we went to competition for drill team and we got lots of trophies!! :D ill try and remember them all...

our officers got:
Sweepstakes
Best in Class officer military
umm, i dont remember what else..

the whole team got:
Sweepstakes
Super Sweepstakes
Best in Class Prop
Best in Class Military
1st Runner up Best in Class Pom
Ist Runner up Overall
Outstanding overall Choreography

p yeah, we had one person do a solo, and she got a 1st division, then we also had a trio which got 2nd runner up.

[Arawis]

i forgot to post this in this thread, but last week i went and saw The Colony Players present Stand-Up Tragedy

fucking amazing.

i am so serious. it was just a one act play, but that doesnt matter. it was so good..

Saga was big. Saga was built. Saga had to answer for the blood that was spilt.


Your family is a prison-
God put you in it!

[Arawis]

thursday we leave to go to FLORIDA!!!
for drill team competition. ill be there till monday.

we're going to magic kingdom, sea world, disney world, and some other places i dont remember..

:D im psyched :D

[Arawis]

http://www.geocities.com/luckyafilmbypat/clipss

if you click on clean clear and under control, the first guy you see is "Joe" :D (the guy i like in case you have forgotten) ;) then he is also in 2 or 3 other scenes.. just look for the guy in the long sleeved white shirt lol

also, on Lucky 2 he is the one at the end in the last 3 clips, one is grinding and the other two are falling down the stairs. quite funny :p jajaja

edit: he isnt in the fire one though, he was filming it

www.vagenisonline.com

just some funny clips, ya know :p

[Arawis]

im through with illusions disillusions for now
i've stepped to the edge but ive been walkin for miles
it was a very temporary waste of time,
is this really such a thing as a waste of time?

can't let myself be restrained
let perceptions be so torn
kill confusion by killin options
burn no bridges to stay warm
can't keep running from the rain
can't live a life on the edge of the storm
kill confusion by killin options
burn no bridges to stay warm

im sick of emotions always tearing the inside
watching things crumble, letting all things slide.
very temporary waste of time.
is there really such a thing as a waste of time?

cant let myself be restrained
cant live my life on the edge of a storm
kill confusion by killing options.
burn no bridges to stay warm.
cant keep running from the rain,
let my preceptions be so torn.
kill confusion by killing options.
burn no bridges to stay warm.


cant let myself be restrained
i cant live my life on the edge of a storm
kill confusion by killing options.
burn no bridges to stay warm.
cant let myself be so restrained
cant live a life on the edge of a storm
kill confusion by killing options.
burn no bridges to stay warm.

im through with illusions disillusions for now
i've stepped to the edge ive been walkin for miles
it was a very temporary waste of time , is there really such a thing as a waste of time?

cant live my life outside the record
cant let perceptions be so torn
kill confusion by killing options.
burn no bridges to stay warm.
cant let myself be so restrained
cant live a life on the edge of a storm
kill confusion by killing options.
burn no bridges to stay warm.

Gray Matter: Burn No Bridges

[Arawis]

today we had no school!!!! :D

last night me and my brother went out in the street and slid and tackled each other for like an hour.. yeah thats what we do when it sleets and the roads are icy :p

now my neck is sore.. and my wrist is bruised and so are my sides :D but it was fun!!

earlier me and my dad went and slid on cardboard (the sleet froze so now its solid and not fluffy anymore) my brother didnt go cuz he went somewhere with his friends. we had to stop after about 45 minutes cuz our cardboards got too wet.. :(

anyway, thats been my day. now im burning cds to listen to on the plane

[Arawis]

http://www.chickenjoke.com/

funny funny shtuff :D

[Arawis]

well, Im off to bed now. Ive gotta get some sleep cuz i have to be at the school at 4 so...

I wont be back till monday night so i probly wont be on till tuesday, just in case any of yall were gonna get worried about me ;) jajaja

anywho, hopefully the plane wont crash or the bus on the way to the airport. One of my friend's dad volunteered to drive us in his church's bus, and yall know how you always hear of church buses getting in accidents.

my family was acting all weird tonight. even my brother before he went to bed came in and was like "alright kid, dont die in Florida.."

so anywho, Ill see yall when i get back!! :D

(unless you hear on the news about a plane to florida with a bunch of drill team girls on it blew up..)

atta :)

[Arawis]

im back, im alive

[Arawis]

went to magic kingdom, universal studios (both parts) and sea world, took lots of pictures, hopefully they wont be screwed up because the stupid security guy MADE me put them through the x ray :grumbles: :kill:

won:
1st place Prop
1st place Pom
1st place Military
1st in class
and we were in the Top Ten highest scores over all the teams there

:)

[Arawis]

ive been hopin youre mopin around the street again
ive been tripping from sipping the dripping dirty water tap
ive been pokin a voodoo doll that you do not know i made
for you
of you
lets see what needles do
ive been shaking from making an awful decision
ive been thinking im drinking too many drinks all by myself
ive been running and running
feels like my head is spinning round and round..

[Arawis]

i am worthless.

[Arawis]

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing?!

[Arawis]

well i was gonna just post this pic and see if anyone asked me who it was and whether it was me ;) but it was too big :grumbles: blasted...
so anywho, that just takes all the fun out of it.

o yeah, i dont know the person.

http://www.afireinside.net/features/tattoo/t_erik_ohlson.jpg

[Arawis]

Brody Armstrong (The Distillers)

[Arawis]

just for LT... ;) (for making fun of me :( )

teehee, oh yeah, thanks!! :D

[Arawis]

Anything is what she is
Anywhere is where she’s from
Anything is what she’ll be
Anything, as long as its mine
And the door, it opens, is the way back in
Or is it the way back out
Anyplace is where she’ll be
Anyplace she’ll see you from
Lies and secrets become your world
Anytime, anywhere, she takes me away.
And Death climbs up the steps one by one
To give you the rose that’s been burnt by her son
Point me to the sky above, I cant get there on my own
Walk me to the graveyard,
Dig up her bones.
I have seen the demon’s face
I have heard of her death place
I fall down on my knees
In praise of the horrible things that took her away
And Death climbs up the steps one by one
To give you the rose that’s been burnt by her son
Point me to the sky above, I cant get there on my own
Walk me to the graveyard,
Dig up her bones.
Point me to the sky above, I cant get there on my own
Walk me to the graveyard,
Dig up her bones
Bones.

MISFITS: Dig up her bones

[Arawis]

On a cold wet afternoon
In a room full of emptiness
By a freeway
I confess I was lost in the pages
Of a book full of death
Reading how we’ll die alone
If a god will lay to rest
Anywhere we want to go

In your house
I long to be
Room by room
Patiently
I’ll wait for you there
Like a stone
I’ll wait for you there
Alone.

And on my death bed
I will pray
To the gods and the angels
Like a pagan,
To anyone who will take me to heaven
To a place,
I recall,
I was there so long ago
The sky was bruised
The ground was bled
And there you led me on..

Chorus

In all I read
Until the day was gone
And I sat in regret
Of all the things I’ve done
For all that I’ve blessed
And all that I’ve wronged
In dreams until my death
I will wander on

Chorus

Audioslave: Like a stone

[Arawis]

well, my brother left. he and one of his other friends are going to san antonio to stay with one of their friends who had to move there last year. ...or was it the year before that.....no, im pretty sure it was last year. anyhoo, hes gonna be there until saturday, or they might come back on wednesday or thursday.... well, the point is hes not gonna be here to beat me up over spring break :( ah well, atleast i get the tv AND the computer!! :D

[Arawis]

tonight i went and saw the Yale Alley Cats perform at my high school. (they are a guys choir from yale) they were exzcellent!! :) they did lots of cool songs liek morwegian wood and shes got a way.... got the cd :D

[Arawis]

Giuseppe Andrews
Lex - Detroit Rock City

[Arawis]

HOTTIE!!!

[Arawis]

She Asked what "Punk" was...I said "Punk" wasn't music, it's a lifestyle. She was still confused, so I knocked over a trash can and said "There thats punk!" So she knocked over a trash can and said "That's punk?" and I said "No thats trendy!"

Billie Joe - Green Day

haha, i love that quote, even though I dont really liek green day :D

[Arawis]

so, this week i actually sortof did stuff!
on monday night, i spent the night at a friend's house, then the next morning we walked to one of her friends (who i dont really know, but he seemed pretty cool) house. but i had to leave because i had choir practice at 3 :mad: :grumbles: anyway, then i didnt go to the nosebleed concert b/c i went to see the alley cats.
thursday i went to this local concert and saw 'george's band Phyrework and also NC*17. im not realyl a fan of either of theirs music, but two of my friends called me up to see if i wanted to go and i of course wasnt doing anything and i didnt feel liek sitting around the house when i could go somewhere...
anyways, then they spent the night at my house, then we went to one of them's house and hung out and went to another concert tonight. I saw Horse, who i really like, though i think theyre singer could use some improvement. also, one of them is REALLY hot ;) so thats always a plus. there was also a band there called blindside (or blindsight, one of the two) who won this little open mic competition thing, they were pretty good. also, Vine was really good. i was liking htem, but i had to leave before they finished their set :(

[Arawis]

what is going on with today's society? it seems everyone i know is depressed. it has become the norm. i know we've all heard adults talk about teenagers with words like 'out of control' 'moody' etc etc. surely, the adults of the world, when speaking of teenagers, now add 'depressed' to their list. when i feel myself slipping into depression now i often try even harder to cover it up. i rarely let emotions show, simply because they do not suit me. showing my feelings has never gotten me anywhere in life. i can't even remember the last time i cried - really cried - over something real. im not talking about watching moulin rouge (which is the last time i had tears spring up), im talking about something happening to me that caused me to FEEL. you see, i dont show emotions, because i basically dont have any. i know many people say this to sound 'cool' and whatnot, but im serious. im sure there are emotions somewhere inside of me, but i have cut them off for so long so many times that they arent actually attached to me anymore. i dont know when i started doing this - im pretty sure it was subconscious - but i have a lot less stress than from the distant times i remember where i felt my emotions. when i tell this to people (that i shut away my emotions) they often dont believe and simply say i am in denial. that, or they tell me i am going down a short road to a mental breakdown. but, this has worked for me for many years - not exactly what i would call a 'short' road.

ive strayed from the topic.

depression. that is the average feeling today. when i feel myself slipping further into depression, i automatically cut it off. the same i do whenever i start to liek a guy, or when i accidentally get hurt by someone. only, i work harder to cover it up than i usually would. it seems with all ym other emotions i cut off i dont even have to think about it. it just happens. but with this i make a conscious effort. i dont want to be counted among the average teenager. i don't care what people think of me personally, but if they see another depressed teenager they wont even bother to know me. its all so superficial. i suppose you might call me superficial for covering it up, but i would do it anyway. the only difference is i realize im cutting off those emotions while i do it, i usually dont even notice im doing so until im already empty.

emptiness. i feel so empty. is this good or bad? lately ive been thinking, im useless. i never do anything. homework. i do homework. i listen to music. i sit in front of the computer.

WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MY LIFE?

did i ever have a life? or was it all an illusion. have i always been a worthless human, wasting the air we breathe?

AM I EVEN HUMAN?

sometimes it doesn't feel that way. i look around me and i see people talking with friends, making plans to go out at night or over the weekend.

smiling. i remember smiling. i used to smile all the time. i have pictures to prove it. how long has it been since i truly smiled?
i miss smiling.

i used to have lots of friends. what happened to them? i dont know. all of a sudden they werent there. were they ever friends at all? was this also an illusion?

IS EVERYTHING AN ILLUSION?

in truth, i dont have many friends. i have aquaintances. people i simply 'know'. not truly know, for can one person actually know another? or is the concept of 'knowing' a human perception?

i could count my friends on one hand. as a matter of fact - will.

kari
caitie
adam
...

see, im lost already.

how many people actually care about me? not many, ill tell you that. speaking of which, do THOSE people actually care about me? or is their care another illusion.

WHY MUST EVERYTHING BE UNCLEAR?


i am stopping this now before people start trying to contact the mental hospital and try and get me help.



im sorry for those of you who actually read all of this. by now you must want to go sleep. i urge you to do so.

[Arawis]

i want this shirt

[Arawis]

this shirt

[Arawis]

and this shirt

[Arawis]

so last night i went over to my friend ashley's house. ashley was my best friend since kindergarten, but then in 6th grade we started drifting apart, and we dont talk much anymore. but now we are trying to get back together ya know? well anyhoo, theres this other girl named emily who has been getting to be really good friends with her over the last month or two, and she hates me. im not sure why, but she doesnt like it when ashley spends time with me. i spent the ngiht at her house over spring break, and she was so mad at ashley because apparently they were supposed to do something that night, but then she had told ashley she couldnt do anything cuz they were remodeling? i dont know, but then when i got to ashley's house emily started talking to her on the internet and was like "we were supposed to hang tongiht, etc etc.." and then last night when i got to ashley's her sister was on IM, and emily messaged her to say "when ahsley gets back tell her to call me" and she was like, "shes back, but im on the phone right now, so shell have to wait a while to call you." and she was like "whos there?" and barbie was like "her and nyla" and she wa slike "god i hate her and ashley knows it" and i was liek what the fuck?! she doesnt even now me, and i think its impossible to hate someone you dont know. its for that same reason that i dont believe in love at first sight. anyhoo, then when ashley got on the internet they were arguing and she was like "nyla probably thinks we fight all the time but whatever she cant judge she doesnt know me" !! what?! I wasnt the one judging!

*whew* felt like getting that out

[Arawis]

I know i'll die that night and i'll never be brought back to life. Once again, I know.


Don't waste your touch, you won't feel anything.


I am exploring the inside. I find it desolate.


I am destroyed by the inside. I disassociate. I hope to destroy the outside.


Of late it's harder just to go outside, to leave this deadspace with hatred so alive.


Poison hearts will never change.


In the shadow of a star, in static pallor, I realized I never began.


I lay strewn across the floor pieced up in sorrow. The pieces are lost, the pieces don't fit. Pieced together incomplete and empty.

[Arawis]

here it is:

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Chester_E_Wiley

[Arawis]

went to the mall tonight with a couple friends.... there were a bunch of liek 7th graders there that kept making fun of them because they were wearing these like 'grandpa' style hats, but sideways and they were liek "hi avril!" and stuff. i laughed, until one of them called me avril 2 on my way to a table after getting fries. i gave hima blank look and kept walking. its funt og ive people blank looks whent hey somethign to you...or especially whent hey ask you a question. i do that alot, especialyl if its a stupid quetion. its also fun to just walk away int he middle of someone's sentence. ;) i am evil sometimes, but if they are annoyign or soemthing, they deserve it in my mind. yeah, i also had AFI written on three fingers of my right hand, and the F just 'happened' to be on my middle finger....so when they walked by and started sayign stuff to my friends again i flipped them off.

whenever i meet people or dont know them, i start with the assumption that they are cool. how they act changes or enforces that assumption. i decided these people werent cool.

i got a pretzel so the security guard couldnt kick us out and we werew sitting down and one guy came up "he was VERY hott btw.." and was liek "whats with the hats?" to my friends and they were liek "we just like them.." and we talked to them for like 20 minutes.. they wetre pretty cool

but then, after the security guard kicked us out we were waiting outside, and there were these like 6th graders and one of them randomly was liek "hi, im gay." and i was liek "really? hello gay, my name is nyla" and we shook hands and were talking...etc etc.. and then he had the cutest little firnd...his name was colin and he was short...he made me feel tall! and he liked my corny jokes :p

[Arawis]

yadda yadda another night its all the same

[Arawis]

so, i was supposed to learn how to play the guitar from george, but everytime i ask him when we're gonna get together he like shrugs it off...and when he does have time, like if we have a free day in choir and he has his guitar with him he'll 'teach' me, but his lessons consist of having me name a song for him to play. OR, having me name chords for like 10 minutes so i can see how fast he switches them.

anyway, my brother said i should learn from this kid named derek, i dont know him but hes one of my brother's friends and i hear he is really good from a lot of people. anyway i told my brother to ask him how much id have to pay him to give me lessons. thn yesterday after school my brother was like "o yeah, derek said he would teach you how to play the guitar" and i was like good...i dont have any money right now though so itll have to wait till i get some and my brother was like "he told me to tell you just bring like a dollar." and i was like "seriously?" and he wa slike yeah. when he said that greg was all, "man, your gonna be getting like 4 bucks a month.." and derek was like "i dont care, im not gonna charge someone to play the guitar... i love teaching people stuff" so i was liek wow he sounds cool... anyway, he can only do it on wednesdays, i could have started last night but id already told my friend i would help her with somehting so..

tonight we did this fundraiser for choir where we waited on people at golden corral, and we kept the tips and such...it was pretty fun.. anyway, i didnt get home till 9:45 and i just got done with my homework...now im tired :(

[Arawis]

6 DAYS TILL NEW YORK!!!

teehee. im psyched as you can tell :D the only bad thing is since im an under classman, i have to be with the chaperones whenever we are going around the city :cry: the juniors and seniors get to be their own chaperones... damn them.. :mad:

[Arawis]

well, im leaving for new york tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we arent leaving till sunday, and i have an assload of homework to do... so i probly wont be on till the middle of next week or so... ill catcha later!! :D

[Arawis]

You're not punk and I'm telling everyone,
Save your breath I never was one.
You dont know what I'm all about.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4, who's punk whats the score?

[Arawis]

what if i just started dressing liek tank girl.. i wonder what people would do? hmm.. a bunch would probably call me a poser and talk about me... muaha, that would be fun :D id need more clothes though, and id have to cut a bunch of stuff off..
not sure i could pull off the hair though.. i have a kind of deformed head... wouldnt look good shaved.

tank girl is awesome

[Arawis]

i was just sitting here, on the computer, and i started hearing this noise! it was one of those songs, like a little kids song or one you would hear at a carnival. anyways, i was like, what is that?!? so i looked out the window, but i didnt see anything. i thought it might be one of the neighbor baby's toys, but it wouldnt be that loud ya know? so i went outside, and i see the ice cream truck coming down my street!!! ive been in this house for 4 years now (i moved in at the end of 5th grade) and the ice cream truck has NEVER come down my street! i remember complaining about it to my parents. and now all of a sudden it comes down our street. i guess they finally figured out that there were kids in this side of town too. kids who liked ice cream, just like all the other little kiddies of the colony. anyways, i was like oh no mr ice cream man, you didnt think i was going to wait on you for 4 years did you? i have my own dutch chocolate in the fridge.

[Arawis]

i havent writtin in this in a while.. i just havent had any inspiration to. but something happened and i felt like i needed to.

ok, this happened yesterday but i didnt write about it because i didnt actually get any details until this morning. one of my best friends is a cheerleader and they have practice 4th period (last period of school) anyway, yesterday they were doing a stunt and she was basing. but, the other base is stronger and threw harder, so the flyer got off center. caitie had to run backwards in order to catch her and the flyer landed on her. the other base and the backspot both had shifted to catch her and they fell on her too. during all this, caitie had stepped off the mat, and when everyone fell she hit her head on the commons floor (tile)

they called the paramedics and after school nobody was allowed to stay in the commons, they had to keep moving out to the parking lot. she was rushed to parkland hospital and at the time could only move her left foot and a few fingers on her left hand. she couldnt even move her head.

today my friend erin and i called her at the hospital before lunch (on erin's cell phone) and she was sounding happy. she still cant move the right side of her body, but she can move the left side. so, its like a temporary paralysis thing, but im so worried that it might turn out to be permanent. she was apologizing to me because she was going to go to my choir banquet with me which is on thursday and now shes not going to be able to. i told not to worry about it and to just try and move. they are saying she might be able to walk by friday, but they arent completely sure, thats just what they are going for.

i just had to type this out because i am so worried about her. shes one of my best friends and i dont want her to be stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of her life, shes only 15.

:cry:

[Arawis]

ok, so she can move her toes and the tips of her fingers on her right side now, but thats all.. of course i havent talked to her since 10 this morning so somehting might have changed. im going to try and go visit her on friday, but im not sure if ill be able to :(

we got our yearbooks today, and i look fat in my picture. i already knew i was going to, cuz we took the pictures at the beginning of the year, i was juts hoping it would somehow look different int he yearbook. my arms look especially fat. they also have a quote from me about topcats that i dont remember saying, but it might have been soemhing i wrote on one of those sheets our director gave us to fill out..

who knows. not me.

im tired = go to bed = sleep = tomorrow = more school :(

but we get out next friday!! woohoo!!! :D

[Arawis]

He never hits me hard. She said her mama rubs lard on all the places where it hurts . Then at school she'd say she fell. That's where all the blue places come from. That's why her skin is always scarred.

But who believes her. A girl that big, a girl who comes in with her pretty face all beaten and black can't be falling off the stairs. He never hits me hard.

But Sally doesn't tell about that time he hit her with his hands just like a dog, she said, like if I was an animal. He thinks I'm going to run away like his sisters who made the family ashamed. Just because I'm a daughter, and then she doesn't say.

Sally was going to get permission to stay with us a little and one Thursday she came finally with a sack full of clothes and a paper bag of sweetbread her mama sent. And would've stayed too except when the dark came her father, whose eyes were little from crying, knocked on the door and said please come back, this is the last time. And she said Daddy and went home.

Then we didn't need to worry. Until one day Sally's father catches her talking to a boy and the next day she doesn't come to school. And the next. Until the way Sally tells it, he just went crazy, he just forgot he was her father between the buckle and the belt.

You're not my daughter, you're not my daughter. And then he broke into his hands.

~The House on Mango Street - What Sally Said


And I kissed a girl with a broken jaw
That her father gave to her
She had eyes bright enough to burn me there,
- They reminded me of yours.

~Bright Eyes

[Arawis]

those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

[Arawis]

i havent really been around wotism much lately.. i thought i would be abel to since school got out (a week ago) but ive actually been doing stuff for ocne instead of just sitting on my ass with no friends. maybe 2003 is my year? anyway, i hope i get to be around more coming up..

so i posted a long time ago about colin, but i think i referred to him as joe. anyway, i liked him, but it was weird because id known him for a year and we had become pretty good friends. then (as i do with all feelings) i cut off the fact that i liked him so i didnt think about it, etc. but theres something i dont think ive mentioned. sometimes my feelings dont like staying in that little place where i stuff them waiting for themt o suffocate and die. so sometimes they bubble back up and i have to cut them off again. but every time this happens, it takes longer to cut them off. and since the cut off isnt quick it leaves a burn. heartburn, haha. anyhow, this has been happening with the colin feelings for the past couple of months. as far as most of my friends know (with the exception of 3) im over him because i shut away the feelings. but im not. i am SO not over him. it hurts, because i know he knew that i liked him the first time (like october or so) but i dont know if he knows i still like him. and my friends who know im not over him say i love him (this i am not sure about.) but he tells me he loves this other girl 'krystee'. it came out of nowhere, like a week ago he said he was talking to 'krystee' and he was like "shes my best friend" and i was liek thats cool.. (i always say thats cool or yeah when i have nothing else to say) id never heard him mention her name before. then 2 days ago we were talking on IM and all of a sudden he was like "i love krystee" i was like "thats cool" and he was liek "im talking about that with someone else so its whats on my mind right now" and i was liek "alright.." then i tried to play it off liek aww, how cute, is she your girlfriend? and he was like "psh i wish. we were gonna go out" "why didnt you" "she likes this guy marcus whos gonna be a senior next year, so im giving her a year to try and get him, then we're definitely gonna go out" "thats cool.."

then i talked to my friend john because hes alays tryign to help me with my feeling incapabilities or whatever and apparently he knows this krystee. and he was like shes so in love with marcus, theres no way she will ever go out with colin. but he doesnt understand. im not worried about them going out, i WANT them to go out. cuz im thinking "krystee is a dumbass, colin is great" and obviously he is like so in love with her, so he'll be happy then. and johns over here trying to think of ways to get me to tell him that i like him cuz he thinks it will turn out all fine and dandy, and im like thats nto what i want! i dont want to be with colin (he would be lying to himself, that causes unhappiness i know from experience) i want to not think about him. i dont want him in my mind AT ALL.i want to never talk to him again.

thats not true, i want to talk to him, but i want to be RID of him. whenever i talk to him all i can think about is how i like him sooooo much, but he doesnt even see me. he is IN LOVE with krystee. and then i think i want to knock some sense into krystee so she will go out with him and make him HAPPY FOR FUCKS SAKE. i like helping people when they are having problems, because i think thats what a friend is there for, so i would be happy to try and help him with krystee, but he never tells me anything. so he doesnt want my help. then im like IF YOUR NOT GOING TO USE ME AS AN OUTLET I DONT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT ANY OF IT. it does no good for me. a few quick jabs every now and then with a simple statment like "i love krystee" or "who am i kidding, nothign ever goes my way" are killing me. i feel like im suffocating and that soon i will break into a million pieces. with noone aroudn that has super glue, because the only person who would have it is colin but hes off chasing krystee and doesnt even hear the sound or notice his feet wounded and bleeding as he runs across the me pieces, grinding them further into the ground with each step until i am buried.

there is no way to get him out of my head, i keep trying and trying, but i keep thinking of him. i need to get in an accident and have amnesia.

[Arawis]

train of thought #62

david - pool - paul - vanilla wafers - cookies - diet - kari - derek - evelyn - fingers - lotion - bath and body works - thief - hearts - colin - hate - love - songs - lies - pain - john - making out - avoidance - scared - rape? - mortal kombat - street fighters ex3 - little kids - scratches on my arm - abuse - mystery cuts - suicide in my sleep? - pain again - colin - pieces (on the floor, covered in blood) - miracles - emptiness - trees - birds - maeleta - flying squirrels - driving - NYLA shoes - barbecue - the colony (cult) - jerid - beans - kari's xanga - bright eyes - hot - marriage - adam - love (lost) - colin - hate - love (not found) - kid dynamite - memorization (pointless) - i like monkeys - monologue - jay leno - skunks - stinky (eww) - rex - slobber (sick, wipe it on the towel)...

end.

[Arawis]

im in red, john's in blue


john (12:44:24 AM): i have some amazing news for you
WithMarbleHeart (12:44:32 AM): what might that be
WithMarbleHeart (12:44:40 AM): i wont he lottery?!?!
john (12:44:44 AM): yes
john (12:44:45 AM): no
john (12:44:46 AM): no
john (12:44:50 AM): but its good
WithMarbleHeart (12:44:53 AM): aww :(
WithMarbleHeart (12:44:57 AM): blasted
bananacherrys (12:44:59 AM): krystee wants to hook you up with colin
WithMarbleHeart (12:45:09 AM): -.-
WithMarbleHeart (12:45:17 AM): what are you DOIN?
john (12:45:24 AM): doooonnnnt worry
john (12:45:29 AM): she doesnt know who yet
john (12:45:37 AM): i just said that there is a girl

WithMarbleHeart (12:45:39 AM): what did you tell her
bananacherrys (12:45:49 AM): and krystee said, oooh ooh, i can help
john (12:45:54 AM): she wants to hook you up
john (12:45:58 AM): with colin
john (12:46:01 AM): yes colin

WithMarbleHeart (12:46:03 AM): no
WithMarbleHeart (12:46:15 AM): SHES the one whos supposed to hook up with colin
john (12:46:21 AM): psh
john (12:46:24 AM): like i said3
john (12:46:29 AM): colin has no chance in hell