Damnit, Janet; It's a limerick, with a lil' kick. Not a poem writ!

[Abraxas77]

Time to put on those thinking caps and silly hats. You'll find nothing serious here. For this is the Limerick thread. Write your 5 lined sillisms here. Maybe we can even make a contest out of it. ;)

The are only rules: 1) That you must write a limerick. Here's Webster's definition of a limerick:limerick

\Lim"er*ick\, n. [Said to be from a song with the same verse construction, current in Ireland, the refrain of which contains the place name Limerick.] A nonsense poem of five anapestic lines, of which lines 1, 2, and 5 are of there feet, and rime, and lines 3 and 4 are of two feet, and rime.
Source: Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc. Here's an example (i didn't write this, found it on the web):

Easter Sunday a young boy, Stan Snead,
Popped a stiff one as long as a reed.
And did he turn beet red,
When Pastor Fred loudly said,
"He is risen. He is risen indeed!"

2) It pertains to the Wheel of Time.
For some limerick ideas check out this website:
http://pagebuild.com/limerick/index.htm

Happy limricking.

[Abraxas77]

The threefold land, you would not miss.
It gets so hot you cannot piss.
Watch out for the Aiel.
Whose women will veil.
If you lose at game of Madiens Kiss.

Best I can do tonight, my creative engine is out of gas. :(

[Arienn]

There once was a young woolhead named Rand,
under his name his beloved world was damned,
though not right in the head,
must of been real good in bed,
Cos he's got three chicks eating out of his hand

myeh

[Cypher]

The Dragon Reborn has awakened,
The world is in shambles and quaken,
Asha'man roam freely
And kill all too easily
Anything they want but Forsaken.

Good for starters, but I may come up with more as I think about it.

Hey Arienn, I like yours and was thinking about doing one about rand with his ladies until I read your post, didn't think 2 ina row about the same thing would look good (aka. me copying you)

[Abraxas77]

lol arienn. Good one.

From the Two Rivers a man, Matt Cauthon,
So good with women, they'd take off their thongs.
With memories of past,
He'd make them gasp.
When he told them, "In the ass is where it belongs!"

[Abraxas77]

hehe, I changed the thread title to make IT a limrick. I'm so clever :D


......hmmmmm......but it didn't change outside :mad:

[LaughingTurtle]

Dark, and powerful, his name is Moridin;
As Neblis he seeks to finally win.
The true power he does use.
To enslaved forsaken to abuse.
Probably cause his dick is the size of a pin.

[nightfairy]

The eternal poet, I had to try my hand at WOTericking. It wasnt as easy as it looked. :mad: I'm gonna keep trying. Anyway...

A woolheaded sheepherder named Rand
felt things flying way out of hand
when he learned of his fate
to unite and to break
and against the Dark One to stand

[Arienn]

The eternal hussy, lanfear,
Was an evil whore - not at all revered,
so when she met birgitte,
and got knocked off her feet,
the crowd most assuredly cheered!!

[Cypher]

oh man, I've been pronouncing birgitte wrong all this time, or feet does not rhyme with it.

[Arienn]

hey - it's open to interpretation. That's what's great about books *realises she's just come from the religion thread and giggles*

[Abraxas77]

bir-gee-tah, is how i say it.

Elayne Trakhand, Andor's daughter heir,
Listen and learns, how to swear.
From men in taverns,
To make your ears burn.
And Blood and Bloody Ashes If YOU CARE!!!

[Abraxas77]

There once a Shienern, Uno.
The guy with the eye patch ya' know.
He swears a lot,
Hear him, you ought.
Say, "Bloody and Bloody Ashes," or so.

[wendy]

There once was a board full of silly gits
who liked to be known as wotists
all through the day
they whiled away
making rather amusing limericks

[LaughingTurtle]

There once was a nudkick named Perrin,
Big & strong, wolves were his only kin.
Sadly he married the bitch Faile,
Whom many a wotist want to throttle daily.
Hopefully, Book 10 is where she'll die in.

(sorry faile fans :D )

[Jacob]

He is man from the two rivers, named Mat Cauton,
loved by the laidies who does not want him too leave soon.
Famed both in battle and in bed, he is the sounder of the Horn,
His horn that make the Ladies think he is the greatest ever born.
Ah to be a hero that is to be a loon!

[Jacob]

There is an Asha'man from Andor, his name is Fred,
who knows that the taint will be the end of him, he's already as good as dead.
But without such sacrifice the world will fare badly,
in the last battle he must fight and die he thought to himself sadly.
For the prophecies they demand rivers of red.

[Abraxas77]

I almost past out (I ran out of beath) reading your limerick, Jacob. :) Great limericks! HahRAY!!! I'm enjoying this tread. Keep up the awesome posts!!!! :D

Here's another one.

The last of the Malkieri's, his name is Lan.
The greatest Swordsman known to man!
With a face of stone,
Wieled his sword that shone.
To battle the shadow, as long as he can!

[Abraxas77]

A mysterios foe, he is Luc and Isam.
All the evil women would like to try them some.
With two looks so nice,
He'll toss them like dice,
And when it is all done, they will be so tiresome.

[LaughingTurtle]

A seemingly simple farmer named Taim;
Enlisted in the army and his life was never the same.
To fight in the Aiel war he was sworn,
Who knew he'd come home with a newborn.
Especially one destined to such great fame.

[Buckweet]

LOL

[LaughingTurtle]

Tam, Taim...they all look the same after awhile...and really...what is the difference from a soldier turned farmer, to a false dragon turned Ash'man.

Sleep deprivation does that to you....but the weekend was oh so much funnnnn;) :cool:

[nightfairy]

Beware of those that weild the One Power
Either clothed in black or from the Tower
they may not be all that they seem
they may not say just what they mean
but they will battle, in the Final Hour

[Abraxas77]

My WoTerick thread was getting lonely down there near the bottom, so i'm Bringin' it Back :p

this first one isn't a WoTerick but it's still funny

The Crapper
When nature calls, there's no time to rest!
Get that shit out, before it does fest!
Don't sit to long,
for that stink is wrong!
I'm the pootin'est tootin'est Crapper in the west!
------------------------
Here's one about Min

A woman called Min, she does not linger,
To suck on Rand's, biggest finger!
Spit or swallow,
kneel and follow,
Then flip her around, so he can ding her!
------------------------
Oh don't stop me! I'm a Roll Now!!!
A little bittie about Mat again.

Some say Matt's a no good lout!
Softly mind, for he's quite stout.
They know he won't lose,
but Matt must choose,
Which woman will put out!
-------------------------
ROFLMAO ooooohhh.......greatness fits of silliness :D

[Arienn]

There was this Perrin bloke from the two rivers,
when his friends left, Rand laughed and said 'come with us!',
after ordeal after ordeal,
and having to marry faile,
i'd have picked up my axe and cut Rand to slivers!

[Jacob]

Burning eyes, burning heart, blood burns of fire!
Burning soul, burning devotion, it is too much he needs to die, this need is dire!
Is he an ally or is he a foe? Masema is not to be trusted!
Serve he does, but who? You saw old blood on his hands, you saw that still new blood he lusted!
Perrin of the prophet best beware, or he may find himself in his own blood lie!

[Abraxas77]

To celebrate the new home in the fiction vault, I figure I should write a new WoTerick.

A once powerful Forsaken, Lanfear,
Possesed a beauty none could near.
To Rand, she lust for dominance,
But her zeal brought subordinace
For Moridin's control of her is quite clear.

[Malcor Sylverwood]

From the Two River came a definite bitch
Whom everyone yearned to leave in a ditch
Her name was Nyneave
Everyone's pet peeve
Until Lan did her in a nine horse hitch

Thank you, thank you...I'll be here till thursday. Try the veal!

[nightfairy]

*bump*

[Carrig Gaidin]

Asmodeon's power was just a bit
In fact, some say he wasn't shit
It was a surprise
But through his demise
he turned WOT into whodunit

[Malcor Sylverwood]

~casts resurrection~

Into a village, Matt came a striding
Said to a lass, you need a good riding
The dice were cast
Her resistance didn't last
And into her, he was soon sliding

As their bodies were coliding
There came an ill tiding
In burst her dad
Unhappy to find her unclad
And through the window he send matt gliding

Hanging from the sill against the siding
He could hear quite a chiding
And without his clothes
Falling left a splinter the hose
That for years kept him in hiding

-Malcor "Not a poet" Sylverwood

[wendy]

There once was a fella named Malcor
Who everyone thought was a huge bore
Until came the day
When he posted away
A lim'rick to make straightened hair curl


soul "couldn't resist" stealer ;)

[Malcor Sylverwood]

~crosses arms, taps foot, and glowers~

;)

-Malcor "heh" Sylverwood

[Malcor Sylverwood]

Wendy
From Austrailia came a stealer of souls
Absolute evil is what she extolls
Babies she does devour
Blue pills sold from her tower
But against me, for her the bell tolls

[LaughingTurtle]

Malcor
The biggest do gooder you'll ever find
Always on the lookout to save mankind
Bonded to Nightfairy
Sweet as a strawberry
Their hearts & souls forever entwined

Wendy
The silly willy goose from Oz
Much mischief she does cause
Though all in jest
I can attest
She's the greatest there ever was

[Malcor Sylverwood]

LaughingTurtle
A call for power sounds like a bell
Never afraid to face fires of hell
With a flourish and a wink for the WOW
He gets it all solved just now
Its LaughingTurtle at home in his shell

[Malcor Sylverwood]

Archely
With arch I do feel chummy
Though everything goes to his tummy
When his hunger does bloom
Worlds he does consume
And has nothing to say but yummy

[Buckweet]

Amelia
My Sedai and long time friend of old,
She is fun and loving and certainly bold,
With hands that toussel
and a heart that is her greatest muscle
She has her beer stashed in Mike's basement Im told

[LaughingTurtle]

Tatum
That evil titillating tricksy temptrious Tatum
Give her an inch and she'll take every crumb
So now I must awe
In shaking my fah
I'll get you back for fighting low like scum

[Buckweet]

LaughingTurtle
He goes to VT and does not have VD
In chat his name is long and goes by LT
With the pictures and the WoW and the judging the avy's we faught
He certainly does a hell of a lot
One of the most chilling moderatores he B.

[LaughingTurtle]

Buckweet
A devoted warder to his sedai is he
Wielding duel swords with much glee
Sipp'n some Voodoo
Chill'n with the WU crew
Toussel em, and he'll thump his knee

[LaughingTurtle]

Nightfairy
Dancer in both darkness and moonlight
Being in her presence is such a delight
Beware her dust
It'll make you lust
After this fluttering foxy sprite.

[Buckweet]

Archely
From scrapple to poppsicle he consumes
To samiches and waffles and eggs with hot fumes
He has one weakness
I have to confess
The sight of a twinkie with a straw brings untimely exhumes.

[WFFS]

Alexia
Some people call this young lassie Lexi
And though 15 she is still rather sexy
From QLD she hails
But she never fails
To end posts with a wink that's quite frisky.

[mindphone]

kolaneigh
many posts he did send
it seemed that they would never end
wotists had enough
so he left in a huff
only to come back as his girlfriend


:p ;)

[WFFS]

Hehe.... good one :)

[wendy]

LMAO, you folks is all crazy
:rolleyes:

[epiph]

you guys rock!

[Tatum]

OH OH, I've got one for LT.

There once was a laughing turtle
Shaking his fah kept him fertile
He posted pictures all day
of Wotists they say
except the one where he's wearing a girdle

[Tatum]

This ones for you Malcor! :D

Malcor of the Sylverwood
among the Wotists, high he stood
He's a nice enough chap,
lets girls sit in his lap,
til Nightfairy slaps him good.

[Malcor Sylverwood]

~hides blush behind mock outrage~

Well...I never...

~flees~

-Malcor "Can't think of anything clever to say" Sylverwood

[Amelia Sedai]

mindphone yours ROCKS!

ok I have one for Bucky!
**Clears throat**

When I toussel his hair everyday
He thumps his leg in a certain way
Though jealous to the core
he is NEVER a bore
because he is my Sweet Gaidin, OK?

[Buckweet]

:cry:

[mindphone]

Originally posted by Amelia Sedai
mindphone yours ROCKS!


i try :D

thank you :)

[Amelia Sedai]

Originally posted by Buckweet
:cry:

You dont like it?

:( :cry:

[WFFS]

I think it was tears of happiness....

[Amelia Sedai]

well i hope so, Im not go at writitng limmericks and it was the first one I ever written and it took me awhile to figure one out!

[Buckweet]

No silly goose ... I loved it... it brought tears of joy to my eyes.

:D

[Amelia Sedai]

yeah!!

**

[WFFS]

See :D

Amelia wrote a limerick about Bucky
But when he cried she thought it was sucky
Until a certain cute boy
Said it was tears of joy
And now everything's good which is lucky!

[Amelia Sedai]

LOL!!!

**toussels WFFS hair**

like the limmerick!
I actually like any limmerick Im in thats not in the tones of Amelia Sedai was from Nantucket.

[WFFS]

:toussel:

Hehe, thankyou :D

~feels loved~

[LaughingTurtle]

Amelia Sedia
Amelia, oh how quite green you are
Already bonded three gaidan so far
Though much needed
For it is conceded
Just one is not enough for this star

Anita Blake
Beware this foxy Canadian female
Starting a chat will much entail
Make yah think
Soon need a drink
So grab some pot and inhale


more soon to come...try to get as many wotists as possible ;)

[wendy]

ROTFLMAO LT!!!

ahh chat mem'ries...

that sassy young lady Anita
tis surely not much that can beat her
her boobies do bounce
and she likes the odd ounce
of fun! What you think I'd say? reefer?

[mindphone]

Originally posted by wendy
that sassy young lady Anita
tis surely not much that can beat her
her boobies do bounce
and she likes the odd ounce
of fun! What you think I'd say? reefer?


hahahahahahahahhahaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

that was the best one so far :D :D :D :D :D

[Malcor Sylverwood]

Nightfairy's home is the dark
Her magic never wide of the mark
The moon in its phase
Her spirit ablaze
And across the bond I feel the spark

-Malcor "Nightfairy's Warder" Sylverwood

[Amelia Sedai]

Just thought I would bump this up.